A few things I forgot to mention...

I've told y'all about how hard it's been for me to keep up with my healthy eating. So, when I went grocery shopping last, I raided the "healthy" frozen foods section. I've been craving Mexican food, so I picked up Cedarlane's Garden Vegetable Enchiladas. These are 5 points for the whole box (which includes two enchiladas), and are Hungry Girl recommended. I really like beef enchiladas, so I was concerned about these being completely veggie. Well, they tasted great! Five minutes in the microwave and voila! A great scrumptious low calorie dinner which makes you forget that you aren't sitting at the Mexican restaraunt munch on chips and sipping on maragaritas.

Also... my new favorite snacks include Fiber One Peanut Butter and Oats bars (perfect for that afternoon pick me up) and Jello sugar free pudding cups. LOVE THEM. The pudding is my chocolate for the day (yay!) and it's a great after dinner snack. Put a dollop of low-fat cool whip, and nom nom nom... yum!!

So, today, I took myself to the gym. Yes, folks, I'm breaking down and joining a gym! The problem here where I live is that there are two choices when it comes to gyms: the gym on campus which is full of undergrads that work out in teeny tiny clothes and with full makeup on. No thanks. The second choice is this place, which is a rehab facility that also has a gym membership. It is a small gym, not very big at all. However, they have spinning classes (which I've wanted to do for a while now), enough machines and weights for me. I think I'm going to try it out, especially since the contract is monthly, and I can get out at any time.

I still feel like I'm fighting a cold, so I think I'm heading to bed. Have a good night!

I better not...

be getting sick. All day yesterday, I felt under the weather. In fact, I had blamed the weather. I mean, who really enjoys rainy cold weather at the end of April? Not me! This morning, I had another hard time getting out of bed even though I slept like a rock most of the night. I got up... and my head felt like it weight 100 pounds. I'm all stuffed up, and it isn't allergies. Blah. At least I don't feel 100% bad for sleeping in today. I think I'm going to go put in my eight hours at the office, come home and hibernate with my book. I'm a huge believer in taking it easy in order to recuperate.

Back to Basics

Yesterday, while laying in bed, I decided TODAY was the day that I would head out to the track to see if I could give one more try at C25K Week Two. Um... it's raining. And not drizzling but pouring. So, I decided to stay home and do some videos to get my 60 minutes of cardio today. I started off by doing Biggest Loser Vol. 1, which I haven't done in FOREVER. Seriously, it's close to two months since I've visited with Trainer Bob. I figure that since my butt is obviously NOT in gear, that I should go back to doing things that I was doing before, like eating salads for lunch and being a bit more on schedule with my workouts. So... 25 minutes of Bob and then another 30 minutes of Leslie Sansone and her crazy walking. Sometimes, I like Leslie. Other times I find her over the top and a bit too... energetic? Motherly? Annoying? I can't find the right adjective. Maybe there isn't just one. I do have to say that as my workout came to its end, and I was all sweaty and tired, I felt good. Today is one of those days where I would LOVE to stay in my jammies all day and read and grade. And... actually, that's what I might do. There is no real reason for me to go into the office today. The thing is that I need to focus on grading and reading and actually get things done rather than say... taking a nap!

Pep Talk to Myself

This is the week that I get back over the 40 pounds loss mark.

This is the week where I start going to bed early so...

I can get up every morning and put in an hour of working out.

This is the week where I start food journalling again.

This is the week where I stop snacking like I'm storing away for winter.

This is the week where I stop making excusing about gaining weight, being too busy to exercise, and eating badly.

This is the week that I get back on track :)

Weekly Weigh-In: Just When I Thought I Was Out....

The scale pulls me back in. Or over, depending how you look at it. I gained weight this week... 1.2 pounds to be exact. Am I surprised? The answer to that is no. I did a lot of extra eating this week (two banquets, one dinner out, and a heavy lunch... plus that gelato run on Tuesday) not to mention I'm PMS-ing like a fiend. I bloat (have we had this conversation before? because quite honestly, I've been feeling like a whale) and I get hungry beyond belief. So, Aunt Flo, hurry up and get here and STOP messing with my body! I'd like to get back on track with my weight loss next week. Thanks!

Reality check: Again, this might just be the PMS talking, but I've been obsessing about my belly. It is the one place on my body that I could jiggle like jelly. Okay, my thighs too, but focus on my belly here! I really feel like I've lost no weight in my belly, and I especially felt that way when I went shopping this week. On Thursday, I went to Dress Barn by myself. First off, I don't know why I go there. They have some cute dresses, but they are way too "old" for me. It's hard to find something that I feel comfortable in there. So I tried on a few dresses, which I don't need, and a couple of tops. All of the tops were empire waist, and I felt like I looked pregnant in them. But one of them kind of sort of looked okay, and I held onto it with another dress that I thought I liked. I went up to the cash register, and was deciding on the shirt when the lady asked, "What are you thinking?" So I said to her, "I really like this shirt, but sometimes they make you look pregnant, and I have a bit of a belly." And she said... "Yeah, YOU DO." Gasp! What??? Aren't you trying to make a sale? Shouldn't you be complimenting me instead of telling me... the truth!?!? So I quickly handed her the shirt to put back on the rack and bought the dress by itself. Later, I decided that I was going to return the dress as well, because, quite honestly, I felt that my bloated belly looked ridiculous in that as well! I guess you win some (the Gap) and you lose some (Dress Barn).

My Motivation

On the health and fitness board that I frequent, there has been a lot of talk about what motivates us to lose weight. I want to share this with everyone because it is important to understand what gets us going. I left my husband in September. My marriage got to the point where I felt like I was in a black hole, that I was never happy, that I felt like I was walking on eggshells around my ex, and that my career was at a deadend before it even started. The thing was, I never realized how unhappy I was. I never realized how I drowned my feelings in tubes of Pringles or tubs of ice cream. Now that I think about it, I remember sitting on the sofa in my tiny apartment before I got married, sitting in the dark, eating at 11:45, right before I went to bed. When I got married, I thought it was forever. I never expected to find that the man I married was beginning to resent me. In turn, he did his best to convince me that I wasn't happy where I was in my life and my career. Lucky for me, I didn't really listen to him, and that's when I started to think about leaving.

In July 2007, I moved with my husband to another state for his new job. I was convinced that he had sacrificed his career on my behalf, and that it was time for me to sacrifice for him. But when we moved four hours away from where we had been living, it went downhill. He would go to work, and I would be left to my own devices. I hated being at home alone. I would sit and cry, and barely eat. The only good thing to come out of that is that I started to lose weight. Granted, it wasn't the right way at all. I would eat a "brunch" meal, and then when he came home, we'd eat dinner together. I just wasn't interested in eating anymore.

In September, I left. I moved back to the city where my job was (until this point, I had been commuting four hours one way and living in a hotel for two days a week) and decided that I needed to start eating again. Only, this time, it had to be the right way. I had lost weight during this time where I did a lot of soul searching. I wanted to keep it off and lose even more. So, I started eating better and taking walks with friends. When it got too cold to walk anymore, I started doing the Biggest Loser Vol. 1 at home. Not only was it good for my health, but it gave some structure to my existance. Yes, I had been the one who decided to leave and end my marriage, but at the same time, it was the hardest moment in my life. Here I was, starting over, at the time when I thought I'd be at my happiest, starting a family and being an adult. I have to credit the structure of eating well and exercising with getting me through a lot of dark moments.

I was thinking about all this while I was doing my C25K intervals this morning. Exercise and healthy eating has helped me get control of my life at a time when I needed control over something. Something as simple as being able to jog around a track amazes me and makes me so happy when a year ago I didn't know I could be this happy. I wish I was one of those women that could say that I'm losing weight to try to conceive or to go on an anniversary trip with my husband. Kudos to you that are able to say that. But, quite honestly, I am losing weight for me. I have hidden under my weight and found consolation in food for too long. It's time for the real me to emerge... and you know what? I think she has :)

C25K: Week Two Day Two

A few things first:

1) Two of my grad students, who stop by my office every week, stopped by yesterday as usual. I don't know what I was doing, but they said, "Wow... Dr. F, you're skinny!" Now, no, I'm not skinny, but I am skinnier than what I was. So, I said, thanks guys! Both of these students have been dealing with weight issues, and one admitted that she had 90 pounds to lose. So I told her that I had 100 pounds to lose, and I've already gotten rid of 40 of them. Don't be daunted by large numbers girls!!

2) I ate a ton of crap for dinner last night. The dean's office usually puts out the awesome spread in the university's ballrooms at the end of the academic year, and it is a big "to do" for everyone in the college, because we have student loans to pay, and if the dean's office wants to feed us, so be it. To be fair, I did fill half of my plate with pineapple and cantalope. But the other half... Swedish meatballs, some risotto balls, veggie samosas, bacon wrapped scallops... and that was just some of the selection. I decided not to competely pig out, and I only went up once, but also had two chocolate covered strawberries, and didn't have any alcohol at all, so hopefully that saved on some calories. I felt it last night though, as the food sat in my gut like a rock.

So, C25K... I slept in yesterday, and got up at about the time that I'm usually leaving for the track, so I decided to put it off until this morning. So... this morning... Got to the track, put my water bottle down, turned my Ipod on... turned my Ipod on... wait. Why the heck isn't my Ipod turning on?? So, for split second, I thought about going home, because how was I going to know when to start and stop running? Then I remembered from the other morning that there were certain points in the track that signified where I started and where I stopped. I started at the little judging house and stopped at the garbage can on the other side of the track by the hurdles. And that's what I did: walked, ran, walked, ran six times around the track. By the time I was done, I had done this for two whole miles, I felt good, and never once did I cheat. Now, timewise, did I do it correctly? That's what I'm not sure of. But at the same time, I worked out today, and didn't skimp on it just because my Ipod needed to be charged. I guess Sunday will be the true test, when my Ipod will be all charged and ready to go!

Me in My Size LARGE GAP sweater

Oh what a night!

So, yesterday, I had a bit of an issue. First off, all my summer clothes are ridiculously big. RIDICULOUSLY. It's one thing to get away with wearing huge clothes in the winter, but in the summer, it is so noticable. Yesterday, I had planned a day of grading at a coffeeshop downtown before I headed into the office for my office hours. Okay. Got to school, parked my car, stopped in my office for some papers to grade and walked downtown. Got a skinny iced latte and proceeded to drip it all over the front of my light blue button down shirt. I blame the barista for that, because he shook the stupid latte instead of stirring it, which made all this liquid build up in the lid. So... I had to change, because even when the coffee dried, it would still be noticable on my shirt. I walked back to my car, drove home (I live about a mile from campus), and this is where the real problem began. All my tops were WAY too big. Falling off my shoulder, exposing my bra kind of big. And, when you're a professor with male students that is a BIG PROBLEM.

I convinced E to go to the mall with me for some emergency shopping. I really don't know what size I fit into, because it's been so long since I've bought clothes. I bought a pink top (size large) and a black sweater (petite XL) that were on a sale at a department store. But...then we went to the GAP. You have to understand my love hate relationship with the Gap. I used to work there in high school. I used to fit in their clothes. I used to LOVE their clothes so much that I used to spend about 95% of my paycheck there. But when I went to college and gained weight, I stopped buying from the Gap because 1) I couldn't afford to anymore on my work-study wages and 2) I grew past a size 16, which is all they carry in their stores. Since I knew that I fit into a size Large top, I was worried that it wouldn't be the same in the Gap, that I would bounce back to the XL range. It didn't happen. And even better, I fit into size 14 pants. Seriously, I haven't fit into a size 14 since 1998. HONESTLY. It's been 10 years since I've been this small. I ended up not buying the pants, mainly because at the Gap their pants are cut pretty straight, and since I have curves, they weren't jiving, but still! A size 14!! Amazing. I'm still going to wear my reconstructed Plus Size 20s for now, but it makes me happy just to think of it.

My students and Earth Day

So, yesterday, my class was alluding to the fact that they wanted to be taken outside for lecture. And I completely would have... other than that I was dressed to the sevens (I wouldn't say the nines) for a awards banquet we were having later that night. One of my students who is a bit of a flake said, "Ew!" with a long pause and then said, "I hate being outside. You get all sweaty, and there's sun and bugs. Who would want to go outside?" I thought of this today while I was doing a 2-mile Walk Away the Pounds video as well as my 25 minute weight routine. Here I was, inside sweating away, all dirty and disgusting, while my student was concerned about louging around outside listening to me talk about the topic for today. There used to be a time when I was like this girl. I hated being outside, because of the sweatiness and bugs. But now I'm learning to appreciate the outside, to enjoy the sun and the freckles it brings to my arms and face (yes, I'm wearing SPF... it's my inner redhead coming out!), to like the sweat and where it comes from (hard work and exercise!), as well as appreciate the beauty of nature that surrounds me. Two years ago, that was not me. When people say weight loss is a life change, you don't realize how completely true that is, and how many aspects of your life is touched by that change... in a positive way!

C25K Week Two Day One

I was a bit bad yesterday. I met my friend J for lunch, but we both had a hankering for some Chinese... and I REALLY wanted some sesame chicken. I figured it was the lunch portion, so I ordered it. Geez! Half the plate was covered in fried rice! I did enjoy my lunch, but at the same time, I don't know how to get myself back on track with the eating. I also think part of the problem is that Aunt Flo is coming in for a visit next week, and the week before, I'm bloated, hungry for starchy bad for me things, and just tired. Sometimes I hate being a girl. That aside, I did go for a 3.6 mile walk with D yesterday. It would have been 4 miles, but I made her turn back early because the cold weather made my bladder act up and I REALLY had to pee.

So, this morning, I woke up and got to the track by 7:15 to start week 2 of C25K. I was a bit nervous about it, as you run for 90 seconds and then have a recovery period of 120 seconds. I was more worried about the 90 second runs though! Surprisingly enough, I did well! I only ended one interval early-- the fourth out of six-- and even then it was only five seconds early. Sometimes I worry that Podcast Dude has forgotten to tell me that it's time to walk again :) Haha. But I'm glad that I had a 95% clean run my first time with the Week Two schedule.

Some of you have commented that you're worried about running outside, that's why you do it in the gym on a treadmill. Can I say... I'm scared of running on treadmills. Seriously, it worries me. I guess I have a picture of America's Funniest Home Videos in my head, with me falling straight off the back of the treadmill. Hence, I prefer to run on something stable and immobile. I can deal with the sun, bugs, various sports teams practicing around me... just as long as I'm completely in control of my pace and not worried about falling off a treadmill going at 6MPH!

As a tidbit... have y'all tried some Fiber One Caramel Delight cereal? If you're a fan of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, which surprisingly enough, I'm not, you'll really like this cereal. I like it in spite of that :) It's nice, sweet, and filling. It's definitely my new favorite cereal.

Big Smiley

I forgot to tell y'all something! I talked with my dissertation chair on Friday about a project we're working on together... anyway, we ended up talking about the conference that I went to at the end of March, and some of my old faculty that I ran into. And my chair said, "I hear that you're looking really good." YAY!!! I'm so glad that 1500 miles away from where I am sitting today, people felt the need to tell my chair that I had lost weight and was looking good. So, slyly, I said, "Yeah, I lost a bit of weight." HA!!! I'm seeing my chair in August at another conference and I can't WAIT to see him. The last time we saw each other was at my graduation just about a year ago... at my heaviest weight. Talk about inspiration! Conferences are like yearly high school reunions for us PhDs. We get together and gossip about each other and then go back to our current departments and gossip about each other even more. I'm glad I have something like August's conference pushing me to lose more by the end of the summer so I look smoking at the conference :) Not to mention that I'll need to buy a new suit because all of mine will be way too big at that point!

C25K Week One Redux: Baseball, Worms, and Breathing Oh My!

Today, I drove my sore behind to the track to try C25K Week One again. Yes, my butt is sore, and I don't know why! I didn't do much this weekend other than walk 4 miles on Friday, recovering from a party on Saturday, and then C25K today. Anyway, we've been getting some rain over the past day, and the track was wet, full of worms that committed suicide, not to mention a WVU baseball game was going on a few fields over from myself (nothing like Don Henley's Boys of Summer suddenly blaring to scare the crap out of you while you're trying to run). I had a clean run today! Yay me!! I really focused on my breathing, and it worked. In through my nose, out through my mouth... whereas before I was just gasping through my open mouth. Clean run all around, didn't end ONE interval early. I think I might be ready to move on to Week 2 for my Tuesday morning run.

Speaking of Tuesday morning... I'm going to be having food issues this week. I'm already scheduled for two dinners/receptions that I have to go to for work. Then on Wednesday, a friend and I are going out for dinner as an end of the semester treat. Basically, when I know things like this are coming up, I try to eat as clean as possible during the day-- lots of fruits and veggies with some lean protein-- to counterbalance the badness coming at night. At least I know on Wednesday I can order a steak or fish, nothing too bad for myself, but Tuesday and Thursday are beyond my control. Damn. Just when I was getting back on track, the end of the semester ruins it for me.

Before and After Pictures: Minus 40 Pounds

Did you notice my ticker??

:) :) :) :)

More later...

C25K Week One Day Three

So, I convinced E to get up early to go C25K with me on Thursday morning before work. Thursday wasn't as cold as Tuesday, but I still had some issues with running outside. I guess it takes some getting used to, and as I'm not used to 1) running let alone 2) running outside, it's going to take a while. My workout wasn't clean at all. I had to stop two of my intervals early because I had a hard time breathing. And no, I'm not running... I'm seriously jogging. I guess I'm just nervous about getting an asthma attack. So, I've decided to lengthen my week one. I'm going for another Week One interval tomorrow, and hopefully, I can have a clean run. We'll see. All I know is that the backs of my thighs were really sore when I woke up this morning. Hopefully that won't always be the case. But I am concerned about moving on when I'm not completely comfortable with Week One's intervals yet.

Exactly HOW MANY is 10K Steps?

My friend E gave me a pedometer for Christmas, as an incentive to get the both of us moving. She also got a matching one for herself. Today, April 16, is the first day that I decided to wear it for a whole day, and by 4PM, I was ready to throw it out the window. I don't think I'm a sedentary person. I'm pretty active. I have a pretty long walk from my parking lot to my building on campus. I walk around and gossip with my coworkers. By 4PM, I only 1500 steps. Yeah, where was that other 8500 going to come from??? E and I decided to go for a walk down on the Rail Trail, since it was gorgeous out, and we might as well put my pedometer to the test. After walking for about an hour and fifteen minutes, I took 10,494 steps AND had walked about 4.5 miles. And, that, my friends, is what it takes to hit 10K steps a day.*

*I also found out that the 10K steps is a guideline. If you are getting in 30 minutes of exercise daily, you are "getting your 10K steps", translated, you are doing what you need to do to keep your heart healthy. So, don't stress over the pedometer's number if you are exercising regularly.

MY HERO

ENOUGH SAID. YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!!

C25K: Where I Hurt

I forgot to mention this before, probably because I was distracted by the BL finale, which I will discuss tomorrow. I hurt on my upper inner thighs. I feel like I have a sex sprain! Seriously! It's funny though because I've never really been sore there before. My core is also a bit sore, which I notice when I laugh (which obviously I do a lot of, since I noticed it). But it's all worth it. Tomorrow is a 20-30 minute cardio plus 20 minute weight day. I'll try to rest my upper inner thighs, but obviously I don't use them all that much :)

C25K: Week One Day Two

Last night I had the great idea of waking up early and doing day two of my C25K intervals. I teach until 5:30, so it's hard for me to get out of a full day of work and classes and then have the energy to do my intervals. My alarm went off at 6:45, and I was off to the track by 7:15. It didn't seem that cold when I work up, so I put on a t-shirt and a fleece. Well, thank goodness I had my fleece on because when I got out of my car at the track, my hands automatically started getting cold and stiff. I thought about using the inside track, but there was a team practicing there. So... outside it was.

I have to admit that I have asthma. It's not every prominent, but it does get aggrevated when the weather is too cold. When I started warming up, that was the thing that was most on my mind, the fact that I left my inhaler at home. And then, my intervals started. The first few intervals weren't bad, but then about midway, my side started hurting, my nose started running (another thing that happens to me in the cold), and my sunglasses started fogging up from the cold and my persperation. I only ended one interval early, and that's because I had pain in my side. But the rest of the time, I pushed through.

So, my last Week One interval is on Thursday morning. There are a few things that I want to be able to do. First, I want to push through ALL my intervals and complete all 60 seconds of them. Second, I want to keep my pace up during my recovery periods. I noticed today that I was slowing down a whole lot due to the weather, and I need to keep a certain pace to be able to ease back into my runs. Finally, I want to run clean. When my podcast friend says that I should be feeling the effects of my run but not be tired or out of breath, I want that to be true. Wish me luck!

I'm having a fat day

I know, it doesn't make any sense, but girls, we all have these whether you are 190 pounds like me or a 110 pounds like others. I don't feel attractive. I have two huge zits on my face, my face feels greasy, my cami doesn't want to stay tucked into my pants (because it's too small? I don't know!), and my hair is crap. Lucky for me my hair place is closed on Mondays or I would be there right now getting a haircut. I'm sure I'll feel better about myself tomorrow, but until then, this sucks.

Couch to 5K (C25K): Week One Day One

On Sunday, I bucked up and decide to try C25K out. It was a bit too cold to run on the outside track, so I went to the inside track. I had a bit of a relief/panic moment: relieved that there were other people on the track (the outside track had one very random looking person on it, and inside, the university's drill team was practicing) and panicked because there WERE other people around to witness my first go at running. Geez. So, I pinned on my Ipod and started walking. You start with a five minute brisk walking warmup... okay, got that under control. Then, my podcast friend starts to warn us that the first 60 second running interval is coming up. Panic! Panic!! When he said go, I went. And it wasn't bad. I realized that I got half way around the track before the interval was up. And then I huffed and puffed my way through my 90 second recovery period. We (meaning me and my podcast buddy) worked our way through many intervals. The only time that I thought I was going to die was on the interval past the midway mark. Okay, first I thought I was going to die when my podcast said "You're half way there." Huh? Only half way?? On the next interval, I stopped about 10 seconds early, but then pushed it out for the other two intervals before the end. Before I knew it, 20 minutes of these intervals had past and I was into my five minute cool down. I was sweaty and my calves were sore (yes of course I stretched afterwards!) but I DID IT. I RAN!!! I can't believe it. Okay, of course I can. I'm almost 40 pounds lighter than what I was last year at this time. But the fact that I can push myself to run, push myself into a fitness routine is amazing. I'm thinking that I'll definitely be hitting the 40 pound mark on Saturday :)

Weekly Weigh In: Another Loss!

I lost one pound this week, which puts me at .4 pounds away from reaching 40 pounds lost. That is so frustrating! One thing hit me as I updated my ticker... you mean I'm TEN pounds away from hitting that 50 pound mark? My HALF WAY mark??? That is awesome. If I was a bit more awake, I'd be smiling.

Today, if the weather cooperates (tomorrow if it doesn't), I'm going to start the Couch to 5K program. I've really wanted to start jogging for a while now, and I think I'm at the point physically and mentally that I can do it. However, I don't want to get frustrated with myself that I can't jog for 20 minutes straight on the day that I decide to start. Couch to 5K takes you from being a non-jogger to being a 5K jogger in nine weeks. I'm super excited, not only to be jogging, but to be on a training plan that would allow me to take part in some 5Ks in the fall. That is, only if they're somewhere flat. There is this killer triathalon that you have to jog uphill. Kudos to you who can do it, but I'm a beginner here.

Relay for Life 2008

So... how was RFL you ask? Well, it was a lot different than I had expected, mainly because we were moved indoors because of the weather. It did rain horribly last night, which was beyond the control of the RFL staff, but it changed the mood for the whole experience I think. Plus the whole night just started out kind of.... off.

First, I showed up at 5:15. I was to be on a team with other people from my parish, mostly undergrads, and two of them showed up at 5:45. One of them left shortly after, because she was bored. Um, okay. Way to go with the commitment. The opening ceremony was good, although it was really hard to keep everyone's attention indoors... the track was hot and humid. Basically, gross. The survivors were lead in by the WVU cheerleaders and did their lap around, and they were then joined by the caregivers, and then all of us. The walking began, and my team decided they didn't really want to walk, but play board games instead. I played with them for a bit, mostly in between walking, but they decided to leave by 10PM, which was when I decided to join another team from a different department. I knew one of the walkers, because she is sisters with one of our secretaries from my department. They were a great group (the picture above was taken right before we left), and were running a raffle on a WVU blanket with all proceeds going to the ACS. We walked, talked, ate and had fun. However, by 2AM, everyone was ready to call it quits. People had been leaving all night, because it was just too hot in the gym. And it was.

One thing I was a bit disappointed in was the Luminaria ceremony. First, we couldn't actually light any of the luminarias because we were indoors. Boo! Second, these kids just couldn't shut up during this touching ceremony. They kept talking and talking... there was a real lack of respect for the survivors and the caregivers present. I think next time I do a cancer event, it's either going to be a 5K (which I'm starting the Couch to 5K program on Sunday) or the county's RFL event. The university one was just too... studenty. There were some groups that took the event seriously, and then others, like my first group, that just showed to show. Maybe get a free t-shirt? I don't know why they even got involved.

In the end, I ended up raising $440, putting me in the top 20 individual fundraisers at the event. In total, the event raised over $65000 for cancer research, and I'm proud at all the work that we did, even though I wasn't able to last until 6AM. And I'm kind of glad I didn't stay. It's obvious to me that I was dehydrated, even though I tried my best NOT to be. I've been nursing a hangover (LOL) all day, a bad headache and just tired. I went to bed at 3AM, after a quick cold shower, and then slept until 11:30, only to take a nap again from 2-4PM. I feel better now, but I'm planning on taking it easy tonight, just rehydrating and resting. Tomorrow it'll be on to the Couch to 5K workout!

How many miles did I walk? Quite honestly, I don't know... I'm guessing a lot! I kept trying to keep count of my laps, but then forgot about it. I spent a lot of my time while walking mediatating on cancer, my loved ones who I've lost, those who are still with us, and making the commitment to those who need us. I was touched by all the survivors who were there, especially with their loved ones. It's necessary for us to see the evidence of all our hard work, because that is what will keep us motivated in order to continue fundraising.

Can We Talk About Fiber?

* I completely missed the Biggest Loser on Tuesday night. Sorry folks, but no recap/analysis here.*

So, fiber. We're told to get as much fiber in our diet as possible, right? Well, one thing we don't consider are the repurcussions. GAS. Seriously. At first it was the infamous Fiber One bars. I'd eat one and about two hours later, my belly would be grumbling and revolting against me... only for the problem to be gas. I'm finally finished with my box of Fiber One bars from Sam's so I thought my gas problem was over. I bought a box of Kashi Go Lean Crunch this week, and the gas is back. I LOVE the Kashi Go Lean Crunch. I want to continue eating it for breakfast. But how is it that at 11AM or noon, my belly starts grumbling and making weird noises. I had a student in my office yesterday when this happened. Instead of saying, Oh, it's just gas, I lied and said, Oh, I'm hungry, I haven't eaten lunch yet. I wasn't hungry! I was gassy!! So, eating healthier has turned me into a walking gas bomb. And I've heard that it isn't just me. So, are we all lying to each other when our belly rumbles and we say we're hungry? I'm beginning to think that .....

Another crazy week

Other than getting up at 5AM, I can't see how I could possibly get a regular workout during a week like this. I went walking with D on Monday, and did about 2.5 miles. Yesterday, I went out to dinner with some of my students at Cracker Barrel of all places and did a little splurging on french toast (YUM) and hashbrown casserole (YUMMIER). Granted, I watched what I was putting in my mouth up until that point of the day, so it wasn't a particularly huge splurge. Tonight, I'm having dinner at the house of the president of my university with some potential students. I can't imagine that is going to be WW friendly, but I plan on eating slowly, drinking lots of water, and leaving a little something behind on my plate. I'm actually going to put in 30 minutes of cardio right now, because I won't be getting home until close to 9PM, the main reason why I'm going into the office a bit later today. Tomorrow, if it's nice out, more walking the Rail Trail with D and maybe E... but Friday, off to the Relay for Life. I'm a bit nervous about it, mainly because I haven't heard much from anyone about what to bring along, etc. And I really hate being a pain in my team leader's behind. But I need to know these things!! I guess I'll go email her now before I put in my Walk Away the Pounds tape for some much needed cardio.

Confession

I bought a 1/2 gallon of Edy's Slow Churn on Friday. It's Sunday night and it's half gone. Yeah, there were supposed to be 14 servings in that thing. I got through half of it in three nights. I've chucked it, considering I think it being in my trash and melted and therefore probably rotten is the only way I won't keep eating it.

I've thought about putting Palmolive on it, ala SATC's Miranda and her chocolate cake. For those of you who aren't addicted to SATC like me: Miranda makes a chocolate cake, because it's cheaper than buying one pastry. After eating more than half of it herself, she dumps it in the trash, only to eat some more because it's on top. That's when she reaches for her dish soap. Miranda later calls Carrie and leaves the following message: "I feel you need to know that your good friend, Miranda Hobbes, has just taken a piece of cake out of the garbage and eaten it. You'll probably need this information when you check me into the Betty Crocker Clinic. "

Do you think there is a Ben & Jerry's clinic for me? Haha. Needless to say, since ice cream spoils, there will be no eating out of the garbage for me. But maybe I'll put some dish soap in it, just in case. Focus! Focus on the 180s!!! That should be enough to get me through the week sans ice cream.

Winning Weekend :)

This weekend rocked. Not only did I put up big numbers on the scale this week, but I also went for a FOUR mile walk with my friend D and her son C. Four miles-- and I'm not even sore today. Best part about that was that we tried jogging part of the way and I wasn't even winded. Woo! I think I'm definitely going to start trying the Couch to 5K training once the semester is over and I have some free time in the morning to go jogging.

Even better, I went to Walmart today to pick up a shirt for my Relay for Life walk this Friday. I am making a puffy paint (oh, I'm having flashbacks to my sorority days!) t-shirt with the names of people who I am walking for on it. Anyway, went to the men's section to look for a t-shirt. The men's XLs were way too big for me. Hmm. So, I went to the women's section. I ended up getting a Hanes women's XL (just in case it shrinks a bit, plus it's cut closer than the men's t-shirt). That's not the best thing. I started perusing their workout clothes and bought a LARGE pair of workout pants. ME. In a SIZE L. Are you kidding me???? So, I decided to press my luck and bought a fun racerback tank for my walking/jogging. I look HOT. I'm so proud of myself and all the hard work I have done to get myself to fit into SIZE L pants.

Speaking of hardwork, I think I hear Jillian calling me for some kickboxing.

Weekly Weigh In: THREE POUNDS!!!!

I have to say that I didn't expect numbers like this today, but I am grinning from ear to ear. This is awesome. My week was pretty messed up. Monday and Tuesday I was battling fatigue associated with jet lag. And I mean, I was pooped. I finally got my butt in gear and did some Jillian Michaels on Wednesday and Thursday, but yesterday, I felt like crap. I had a ginormous sinus/migraine headache, I was nauseous, I wasn't hungry, and just felt all around yucky. Around 7 last night, I fell asleep on my couch, and woke up about an hour later feeling all sorts of energized, which was good and bad. Good, because I was feeling much better. Bad because I didn't go to sleep until 2AM (although I got a good start on my new Jodi Picoult book).

Yesterday reminded me of high school, when I was over-involved in every activity: band, dance, theater, prom committee.... the list goes on. Not to mention I was an A average student, and did what I needed to do to keep up those grades. In other words, I used to run myself ragged. I would get headaches and cold-like symptoms every once in a while. I wouldn't feel any better until I fell asleep on the couch at 6PM, slept through dinner and would only wake up when my mom would suggest that I take myself up to bed. I would sleep for 12 hours straight, and wake up a new girl. I guess the adult equivolent of that is an hour nap, followed by a solid eight hours of sleep. I do feel much better today, not dragging like I was.

Next week is going to be another odd week, in that on Friday and Saturday, I'm participating in the Relay for Life. I will be up all night on Friday night (I'm kind of hoping that the students will let an old lady like me -- haha -- get some shut eye under the stars) and only getting to bed on Saturday. It's well worth it, but I wonder how this is going to affect my natural sleep rhythm, which is already messed up. It's kind of funny, but even though I'm technically done with school, my life is still run by the rise and fall of the semester's tide. I guess if I am able to pull it out until the end of April, I can sleep all I want in May. Or, at least until my summer class begins.

Feeling Good

I need to write this blog tonight, while I'm feeling good about myself, and not tomorrow morning, after I'm standing on the scale and I let those numbers judge how well I did. I borrowed an idea from C over on http://yepanotherweightlossblog.blogspot.com/ to keep my before and after pictures up there (hope you don't mind!). Sometimes, I do get too hung up on the numbers. Sometimes I'm disappointed when I only see that I lost a half pound or a pound. But when I look at that picture from a year ago and then compare it to that picture from last week... wow.

While I was walking to my office today, I realized something. First, that walking up the hill from my car to my office was a lot easier than it was a year ago when I used to huff and puff my way up there. Second, that the clothes I'm wearing are ridiculously big. I wore a shirt today from Lane Bryant that was an 18/20. It was one of those cute Western cut shirts with snaps instead of buttons, and I couldn't wear it last year because it was too tight to button. Well, this year, I could put another me in there with me. And third....

Remember last week when I went to San Francisco? Well, I pack like a girl. I am a girl, so it makes sense! I remember lifting my suitcase off of the little suitcase stand in my hotel and thinking that there was no way that was going to be under 50 pounds. When I finally got to the airport and I put it on the scale, it told me that it was 43.5 pounds. Huh. I was amazed. It felt so heavy. And, on that same trip, a friend asked me if I minded telling him how much weight I had lost. When I told him close to 40 pounds (I round since my starting point is iffy), he looked amazed and congratulated me by saying "that is a lot of weight." You know what? It's finally sinking into my head that, yeah, what I've lost is significant. It's about five pounds less than what was in my heavy suitcase. It's enough weight that my pants are now falling off of me and my button down shirts look ridiculously big. It's enough weight for me to look in the mirror and say, wow, my waist and my hips look in proportion to each other, rather than me toting around a super huge booty.

It's enough weight for me to start feeling small. And even though I'm about 60 pounds away from my goal, that means something. I haven't felt small in a long long while. It makes me wonder what it will feel like to be another 60 pounds lighter.

But best of all, it makes me smile.

Random Thought

I wish they made chocolate flavored gum. Like right now, I finished my Amy's bean and rice burrito (YUM) and I want something sweet, preferably chocolate. Not going to happen, since there isn't any in my house, and I will be chomping on some sugar-free gum in a second, but still. Chocolate gum. I hope you gum manufacturers are listening!!!!!!

Biggest Loser Wednesday: Cry Me A River

Okay, is there something in the water in Australia that made Jay and Mark cry like little girls last night? My favorite part of the whole cryfest was when Mark called home and his wife said "Are you crying AGAIN?? You need to buck up!" Ha ha! I thought last night's episode down under was pretty cool. And as a political scientist, I cringed when Bob (who's sooooo cute) said "Australia's the second most overweight continent. You know what's the second? The US of A!" Um, Bob, the US is a country, not a continent. I was holding out for "North America!" (I've been to Canada, they're not skinny either!)

It really looks like this is turning out to be the Ali and Mark show. I was a bit disgusted at the whole "let me give you a piggy back ride" thing, as I don't think Mark would have ever done that for Ali. I don't know if I buy Mark's turning over a new leaf when it comes to his competitive side. I also have to admit that I don't think Mark is going to last another week. He's pretty much reached his goal, and it's going to be that much more difficult for him to lose another pound rather than just maintain. I also think that sending them back to the ranch by themselves is just a test to see how they can make it on their own until the finale. I seriously can't believe there are only two more shows left :( What am I going to do until this summer when they start another round of Biggest Loser??

On another note, this week hasn't been going too hot for me. I'm kind of running along side the bandwagon, trying to jump on, but not getting my balance so falling back off again (geez, I hope that image makes sense-- it's like trying to catch a train!) I have to say I went a little happy in the Ghirardelli chocolate store in San Francisco, which means I went a little happy eating chocolate at home over the past few days. I also went out to dinner with my friend J last night, and probably didn't make the best choices when it came to dinner. I also haven't moved my butt once this week. Jet-lag caught up with me big time on Monday night, not to mention I had some pain in my left calf from my miles long walk around San Fran with S on Saturday. The scale isn't telling me a bad story (yet!) so I think if I can get my butt in gear today, I'll be able to salvage the rest of the week. It kind of sucks, because I feel like the night of the living dead. I seriously could sleep all day, but unfortunately, I don't think my job would like that too much.