Oops...

It's been a while since I posted. But I'll get to that in a bit.

My first week back, I gained two pounds. Yup, you heard right. Drove me insane! I worked out, ate right and gained two pounds. Ughhhhhhh. I was beyond disappointed. Then, I decided to hit the gym hard the next week, but both Baby and I got the flu. Awful! So I haven't been at the gym for a week now. We're both feeling better now, so back to the drawing board!

Gearing up for the big...

Well, definitely not the big game, as I don't care for either of the teams in the Superbowl. I'm a huge Eagles fan, and Mr. Kiki is a huge Steelers fan... it just wasn't in the cards for a PA Superbowl. Anyway, I'm ready for the big C. The big CHANGE. On Friday, I met with my trainer and on Saturday, I met with my nutritionist. I feel like I'm really equipped to start this new journey in my life. What was great that both of them were really approachable and realistic about goals. For instance, my trainer wants me to get 2-3 hours of cardio in a week until we meet again in 10 days. I can TOTALLY do that. My nutritionist wants me to stick to a calorie goal as well as add more protein to every meal and stay away from overloading on carbs. I can TOTALLY do that. I told them about my previous weight loss journey, and they both asked me what I thought made that work. I realized that I was single so I had a lot of control over things: namely, what I ate and when I exercised. I used to go on 8 mile hikes with my friends that lasted for hours without worrying about anyone at home. I can't really do that anymore. I have Mr. Kiki and Baby K. I want to spend as much time with them as I can. Both my trainer and nutritionist recognize that this is an important goal for me, along with getting healthy. I'm a little too excited for this new part of my journey. It might be the first time that I'm looking at making these lifestyle changes with a "YES!" attitude rather than a "Oh, man... I have to do WHAT?" attitude. I'm hoping that makes me more successful as well.

What's your number?

So, a few things have changed since the last time I blogged. I got engaged. I got married. I had a baby. Throughout all those things, I gain back all the weight I had lost and more. I know, I know, I was pregnant, but I got pregnant at a high weight. I remember the day that I went in for my induction, the nurse asked me to step on the scale. OMG. The highest number I ever saw. Easily. The worst part about it is that a week later, when I finally had the guts to step on the scale, I had only lost 10 pounds. I had an almost 9 pound baby, and had only lost 10 pounds. That was five months ago. As part of getting my life back in gear after a four month maternity leave, I decided to take advantage of a "once in a lifetime" benefit offered by my health insurance. For a $20 copay, I have access to a personal trainer, a nutritionist, a gym membership, and behavioral counseling to help me kick my butt back into gear. In order to qualify for this program, not only did I have to be obese (duh) but I also had to fill out a lot of behavioral questionnaires along with getting my PCP's permission and some bloodwork done. One of the questions I was asked was how many diets I had been on during my adult life. Hmm... I consider my adult life to start from the moment I graduated college 12 years ago. How many diets had I been on since then? Well, there was a failed attempt at Weight Watchers, a short lived attempt at Slimfast (seriously, wtf was I thinking?), my short-lived tolerance for a Six Week Body Makeover, my "divorce diet" (which was my only success, since I threw myself into eating right and exercising my heart out), my bad attempt at using Alli (seriously, if I wanted to poo myself, I didn't need assistance!), and my numerous attempts at South Beach. That's six major "diets" in twelve years. In twelve years, I had gained 60 pounds, lost 80, and gained 110 (that includes growing a fetus, but you know...) What the heck was I doing? What road was I going down? I do know that my current weight does not make me happy. I don't like going clothes shopping. I don't enjoy that I have a hard time getting up after playing with Baby K on the floor. I don't like my flabby gut that hangs over my c-section scar. Something has to change. Over the past few weeks, I've been counting calories. On Wednesday, I'm meeting with the nutritionist for the first time, and on Friday morning, I have an appointment for my first "assessment" with my personal trainer. I'm glad you're joining me on this journey again. And this time will be the last time, because I realize that I can't keep doing this to myself.

It took some convincing...

In my last post, I told the blogosphere that I was going to get up early and exercise before I went to the office. Well, it might have taken almost two weeks of some convincing, but I finally did it. There's just no way for me to work out after I get home from the office. I work hard, I'm tired, and I'm just unmotivated. If I did it in the morning... then I wouldn't be awake enough to really complain about it :)

I came up with the brilliant idea to try couch to 5K again. I'm about 30 pounds heavier than the last time I tried it out, so I was prepared for failure. Surprisingly enough (to me), I was awesome. The first week is 20 minute of 60 seconds running and 90 seconds of walking. I really didn't think that I would be able to make it through 20 minutes, and I pictured myself gasping for air after the first 60 second run. (Obviously, I still haven't caught onto that positive thinking thing.) And yet... I surprised myself. I made it through the whole 20 minutes without getting a side cramp. Including the 5 minute warm up walk and the 5 minute cool down walk... I did 30 minutes of cardio today.

HIGH FIVE!

Cuando, cuando, cuando

Once upon a time, getting up at 6AM to hit the gym was second nature. Okay, I won't really lie to you... it wasn't second nature, but a lot easier than it is now. Now, getting up at 7AM is a chore in itself. There's something nice about snuggling up next to your husband, especially on a chilly fall morning. It's like having your own personal heater. (And yes, people, I'm talking about snuggling, get your minds out of the gutter!) I usually head into the office by 9 and come home by 5:30 or 6. I make dinner (if it's Monday or Wednesday... Mr. Kiki makes dinner on T/R when I have an afternoon full of teaching). and then settle in for the night.

Oh yes, I settle in for the night around 7PM.

As much as I've been loathing Jillian Michaels lately (don't ask... she kinda irritates me on a talk show), there's a line in the 30 Day Shred that always sticks with me. Here's an excerpt: “People are so placated by groups that say, ‘Start by taking the stairs,” says Michaels. “What? That makes people think, ‘I’m so fragile, I can barely take the staircase.’” In fact, she says, the human body can withstand a lot—and increasing the intensity of your workout is one of the fastest ways to burn calories and lose weight. “The more we hear this false message of lethargy, the more we believe it,” she says. “As humans, we have evolved to the point where the sky is not the limit. Your capabilities are, in fact, limitless.”

So... I don't want to get up before 7AM, but I want to be settled in by 7PM? Pretty unbelievable, right? I sound like a 70 year old versus a 31 year old. I've decided to commit myself to some evening workout time. There's nothing wrong with hitting the elliptical or the treadmill at 7:30PM, especially since I've been utilizing my complex's workout room. Or, if I didn't want to go there, I could easily pop in a video and do 30 minutes of cardio in the bedroom. These are all things that I *used* to do... but since I met my personal heater... er, Mr. Kiki... it's been more difficult to unlatch myself from the snuggliness that is our post-dinner routine. Let's see how successful I am with this approach.

Red in the face

Monday was my first workout session in what seems like forever. I had a small procedure done in mid-September (all is fine, and I'm okay) and so I had to lay off the exercise for almost two and a half weeks. Funny, but in the workup for this procedure, my surgeon sent me a list of things to do BEFORE the surgery that would make afterward that much easier. Along with eating right and not taking anything that could thin my blood (fun, right?), he also suggested taking 30 minute walks to pump up my stamina. For someone who was having a hard time working out, walks were great. I got out in the sun. I enjoyed the rolling hills of the medical campus not too far from my home. Fresh air. Yum.

Well, the past five days have been absolutely crappy weather-wise. It got cold on Friday, which turned into wet and VERY cold on Saturday and Sunday and Monday. On Monday afternoon, I wanted to wrap myself up in a blanket and watch Real Housewives of Anywhere, but instead, I dragged myself to the workout room in my complex. It's a small room with two treadmills, two ellipticals, a recumbent bike, and a nautilus machine, but it wasn't raining in there. I got myself on a treadmill and took off! The machines all face a one way mirror (the women in the complex's office can see you, but you're looking at your reflection) and I couldn't believe how red my face got. Has it been that long? Was it the awkwardness of the treadmill? Both?

When my 30 minutes were up, I was a little disappointed with how far I had gotten distance-wise, but then I thought that it was an accomplishment getting to the gym rather than curling up with a blanket and Bravo. And my flushed face had a smile on it as I walked back to my apartment in the rain.

Waking Up

It's been quite a while since I wrote on *any* blog, but especially this one. However, over the weekend, one of my favorite long-lost weight-loss bloggers turned up on my google reader, and I thought to myself... "wait, how many people are still subscribed to Taking Chances? I wonder if people are still listening, and wondering where I've been." The answer: 63. There are sixty three people subscribed to this blog. Unbelievable. You've been here all along. Where have I been?

This summer was a bit of a trying time for me, emotionally and physically. I did a boot camp for six weeks that felt great, but after my wedding in mid-summer, I pretty much stopped going to the gym. The rest of the summer was an on and off of fitness. I love going out for walks (long challenging walks, with hills and hills and hills) but the weather isn't cooperating. I'm thinking about joining a gym again until the weather gets warm again. It doesn't mean I need to go every day, but on those days like today, where it's rainy and cold, heading to a warm gym with nice cardio equipment would be a great idea.

Anyway, I'm back. I'm not going to act like I'm going to cannonball back in, but I am going to use this blog to help me learn some good habits once again.