Weekly Weigh In: The Summer of My Discontent

I gained. Again. I think this is a more accurate reading of how much I gained while I was home. For some reason, my weight is always "off" the day after I travel, which I why I thought I had only gained 2 pounds while I was home. Nah... the real number is closer to 4.2 pounds. It still isn't that bad for being at home for five weeks and not exercising. I think coming back here made me take off my rose colored glasses and see things for what they are. The muscle and toning that I gained while I worked my booty off in June is gone. I have a tire around my middle which looks less flattering in certain clothes. It needs to be gone by the time I go to Boston in 18 days. I think if I follow a routine, I'll definitely lose these 4 pounds by then. I hope they go off as easy as they came on.

Today, I finally received the motivation necessary to get my butt out of bed and to the gym at 7AM. They're called McWives. These are the type of women who are on the Real Housewives of Orange County... pampered little princesses that drive ridiculously expensive cars when they emerge from their ridiculously expensive McMansions. Every town has them. I got to the gym today, and was walking from my car to the door when this huge Suburban-esque type SUV came careening around the corner and slammed to a stop about 15 feet from me. A woman, about 110 pounds, talking on her cell phone, was driving. Two kids got of the back and walked military style into the gym (there's a basketball camp going on in my gym for kids right now). I guess I would be silent too if my mom talked on her phone while I sat in the back of the car.

Then, in the gym, another McWife comes in, carrying IN HER HANDS the following: her wallet, her designer sunglasses, her cell phone, and (I don't get this) a little container of what I think is salad dressing. It takes her five minutes just to arrange them safely around the ab machine that she is going to use. I don't really pay attention to what happens next, but when I move from the machines to the free weights, she's standing at the counter with the bleach wipes WIPING DOWN ALL HER THINGS. Huh? So, I stand in front of the mirror and do my bicep curls with my usual 8 pound weights, and she comes over and picks up these 20 pound weights and do bicep curls a little down from me, but she does them in HORRIBLE form. I can't imagine she's going to get anything out of it other than injured. Then, some dude who she knows comes in, and they stand in front of the free weight rack having a conversation. I'm done. I want to put my weights away and go. I say, excuse me, and I'm hardly acknowledged (it must be my Walmart and Old Navy workout gear). So, I push through, put my weights back on the rack, and walk away, only to receive a mouthful of McWife's expensive perfume. Who puts perfume on to come to the gym??? Seriously??

Okay, I'm done venting. But seriously, no more mid morning exercising for me. I liked my early bird crew from last semester, people who looked like they had jobs and things to do during the day and that's why they were there early. Those are my kind of people. No McWives need apply.