Friday, May 2, 2008

My eating habits

Okay, so on my daily perusal of what's been going on in my favorite weight loss blogs, I came across this questionaire twice. So, I thought I'd give it a go. I've been reading "Intuitive Eating" and it's helping me to be honest about how I eat, what I eat, and when I eat, so I'll be honest about it here as well.

1. What types of food were you most likely to overeat? Chips, candy, ice cream, cookies... anything "snacky"

2. What times of day did you overeat most often? After 8PM. I have a hard time at night not watching TV and eating at the same time. The other night I bought a bag of "natural" white cheddar cheetos, and ate about 1/2 of the bag while watching Workout (how ironic) and American Idol. When I realized what I was doing, I put it in the trash can. It's seriously an unconscious effort.

3. What feelings were you having most often when you overate? While I was overeating, I was bored. I probably didn't even need to be eating, but that's what I ended up doing. After I overate, I felt physically ill, probably because I was too full as well as the guilt associated with what I did.

4. Do you think you have a binge eating disorder? Yes, definitely. Why can't I control myself when I want a little snack? Why do I have to eat and eat and eat at times. I think I've come to this realization over the past few months.

5. What circumstances in your life do you believe contributed to your weight gain? Going to grad school, hanging with the guys and eating ridiculous amounts of food at lunch and dinner along with lots o' beer, allowing myself to be "too busy" with school and teaching in order to excuse myself from exercising or eating right.

6. Do you 'blame' anyone for your weight? I blame myself, obviously, because I was the one who put the food in my mouth and didn't exercise. But I also partly blame my ex, because when I was on the road to losing weight a few years ago (I was doing WW and losing), he told me that the dinners I was cooking were starving him (yeah, right) and insisted on buying tons of crap for himself even though he knew I was having a hard time with self-control. Now that I live by myself, I don't buy crap (except for the occasional indulgence) and it helps me out. So, I'd say 75% me, 25% him.

7. What other behaviors made you overweight? I think I'm lazy sometimes. I say that I'm "too busy" to exercise or cook right, but then I'll come home and veg in front of the tube. I also think that I have a hard hard time with self-control, at home and in social settings.

8. Were you active or exercising while you gained weight? Nope. Ever since I quit dancing at 16, I really never exercised. And if you look at my weight gain through college (up to about 195) and then through graduate school (up to 230-240), I wasn't moving my butt at all. In my conscious effort to lose now, I've made exercise a part of it. I know that it's not the key to losing weight, but it does make me stay accountable.

9. What made you finally want to change? I left my ex. I was tired of being fat, tired of being told that I had a pretty face, tired of not having dated much before I met my ex because I was so fat. I was also tired of having high blood pressure in my mid (and I guess now late) 20s. I was tired of doctors telling me that I was at risk for diabetes, stroke, heart disease, etc. At one point while I was married, I was worried about not being able to get pregnant. And, quite honestly, I was sick of shopping at Lane Bryant. I wanted to shop at the Gap and Ann Taylor. And you know what? Now I can :)


Laura said...

This is very cool! You are doing awesome. Congrats on joining the gym. Sometimes I think joining is the hardest part. I think I say that today since today is a gym free day.

c said...

Oh, that's a great questionnaire! I think it's a good way to look in depth at habits. I'm glad you've come so far like acknowledging why you're eating and stopping.

Anonymous said...

I'm just a stranger, who stumbled upon your blog while googling "why can't i change my eating habits" and you inspire me; you've done it! Congratulations! Have a great summer.