Wednesday, March 11, 2009

That's Not Me

KK's post about self-image has really hit home with me for a number of reasons. I've been having a lot of "fat" days lately. Ladies, you know what I'm talking about. (Gentlemen who read my blog... do you get these too?) You feel humungous, like everyone is looking at you because you're so big and sloppy. I think I've been feeling this way because my weight loss has kind of grinded to a stop. But, last year when I got to this point in my weight, I was talking about how slim I was, how I felt great, blah blah blah.

Well, this morning, I had a bit of an epiphany at the gym. I finished my morning run and was returning my towel to the service desk, which is when they give your ID back to you. I told the guy at the desk my name, and he went through the IDs and was looking at my ID for a moment before I finally said, "Yes, that is me." That picture was taken in August 2006, and (obviously) I had a lot of weight in my face, considering I was just about 50 pounds heavier (as of this morning, I'm about four pounds away from my 50 pound mark). I use my ID every day, to get in the rec center, to get a towel, to access the classroom technology when I teach. I try to avoid looking at my ID, because I know which face is smiling back at me. It's my fat face. It's not my current face. And, yes, I'm too cheap to shell out the $20 to get a new ID right now... that's not going to happen until another 50 pounds are gone :)

8 comments:

Lauren said...

Thanks for this post! As you know I have been in quite a slump myself. I also have been feeling huge lately. After reading your post I took my license out and saw my fat old face. It helped to remind me where I was and where I ma now.

IRJessica said...

Ugh. Fat days are the worse. I can be having a terrible fat day- and then months later see photos from it and think I looked terrific. Sigh. I hope they pass quickly!

Angie Eats Peace said...

I definitely have those fats days still, but looking back on my progress helps out, hopefully that will help you, too, you have come such a long way!

Cammy said...

I loathe fat days! They tend to jump out from nowhere! It's all a mind game, of course, but no less real because of it. So glad you had a pick-me-up encounter to get past it!

ptg said...

I've been having a TON of those lately. Lots of fat, fat, FAT days.

But it's always nice to hear "you look great" when you're feeling like crap!

Irene said...

Ha! That's interesting. I have fat days, but only during my period, or if I have eaten way too much. I feel bloated and nasty and fat.

I love looking at the pictures of me when I was 50 pounds heavier. It reminds me of why I am doing what I have been doing.

SeaShore said...

I'm having a fat day today. I've been feeling fat a lot lately, and it seems to be because I need to go clothes shopping. I dread clothes shopping, it always depresses me.

Like you, the lst time I was this weight, I remember feeling pretty trim. Weird.

KK @ Running Through Life said...

Ah yes, the dreaded fat days!!! Hopefully they will soon pass!