Monday, March 2, 2009

A Fly on the Wall

It's kind of interesting to "hear" what people think and say about obesity when they don't realize your history. For instance, I've made some new friends since I've dropped these 50 pounds. In the back of my head, I always wonder, would they like me if they knew me when I was 50 pounds heavier? According to the BMI index, I'm still obese. Granted, I've moved from "morbidly obese" to "severly obese" and now I'm just plain old "obese". I can't wait to be just plain old "overweight"... granted, that's 30 pounds away.

Back to my original observation about people and their thoughts on obesity. A few months ago, all these "notes" on Facebook started going around. (Since when did it become kosher to start "forwards" on Facebook? Oy!) A girl I knew since high school who has always been thin "confessed" that one of her biggest fears is getting fat. Are you kidding me? I mean, no one wants to get fat. But, when we talk about biggest fears, for me, it includes plane crashes, losing loved ones, not making enough money to pay my bills, etc. Then again, I'm very conscious of treading that line where health is a part of my life and how it can easily become an obsession. A few weeks later, I read on someone else's facebook page (another thin... and I mean THIN... girl) about how she takes that hydroxicut daily to be able to eat what she wants. Um, okay.

Another blog I follow had a discussion earlier this week about our state proposing a law like the one in NY where calories have to be posted on the ordering board in fast food restaurants. I'll gladly admit that the discussion spun out of control and has moved far far away from the original topic, but what stood out was one of the commenters saying how he won't look at obese people because they lack beauty. OMG. When I was morbidly obese, I knew there were people who thought I was disgusting. *I* thought I was disgusting, even though I dressed up, took care of myself, and put on a good face every day. I'm sure there were some people who found me repulsive. It's just different when you hear someone say that out loud.

I have a few students who are morbidly obese and I feel bad for them. I'm sad when I see them stuff themselves into those fun desk/chairs. I'm really sad because they are smart kids (one of them has the highest average in a certain class) and I know how hard it is to go through life when people meet you and the first thing they notice about you is your weight. I also know how hard it is to lose weight, and how easy it is to fall back into bad habits and to give up when you hit a plateau. I wish it was as easy as "calories in, calories out", but we all know that it's a bit more than that, emotionally. We have to change our relationship with food.

Sorry to be such a downer, but this has been brewing for a while. I finally hit the gym today... did a 20 minute run for my first day back post-cold and I also did the boot camp lower body challenge video. OMG... one footed squats? Those lunges with the balance ball? This one was a challenge!!! BTW, I got a balance ball at Walmart for $8! Just wanted to share with y'all. How's it going with you?

Have a good Monday!


tas said...

7 day bootcamp... i started today.... thanks for the idea and the link. i actually had fun and it felt good. hope my back still likes it later today, but so far... GREAT!

Just_Kelly said...

Wow, this is a downer post! lol j/k

It's interesting I have a friend who espoused how disgusting she thought stretch marks were with a full on "eeeewwwwww" and everything. I just kind of looked at her and said, "Lolly, I have stretch marks". She backpedeled, then said she didn't believe I did because I didnt' look "gross like that". Interesting conversation to say the least.

Tonight (after my midterm) I'm walking the dog for 30 minutes then doing the bootcamp vid. I don't have a balance ball... I'll have to pick one up asap.

Angie Eats Peace said...

It is sad how discrimination and stereotypes come in shapes and forms. I wish there was empathy in this world.

Cammy said...

Yes, it's a downer post, but it's a beautiful post, so I forgive you. Your compassion will no doubt help you help those students who are viewed as "less than", whether it's their size, their skin, their hair, or whatever society determines isn't "right" about them.

Um, I kind of forgot about the challenge and went to the gym and did my regular weights/bike routine. Does that count? It was 40 minutes total. {puppy eyes}

carla said...

not a downer IMO but a thought provoker.

and Im with Angie.

in that I can not GET why people, even if it isnt THEIR STRUGGLE, can not place themselves in the shoes of the other for a moment.

ptg said...

Fat v thin remains one of the last prejudices we have in this world. Funny how someone who's overweight can be told "you have such a pretty face" and yet still hear that they're disgusting to look at by otherss. What's repulsive is people's point of view on the whole thing. We are not comprised of our bodies but so, so much more.

While I've never been in the higher BMI categories, I have never been outside of the 'overweight' or 'obese' ones (usually the latter) and the truth is, I'm kinda scared to. Because I identify with the group I'm in, the ones who are always struggling to be something they're not and want to be more than they already are.

The truth is, you can't change someone, so if people like you now, so be it, and if they don't, then that's okay too. They're getting to know whichever Kiki they want to know. It's up to you to let them know the "old" you, if you want. Let them make the choice, because you're still the same beautiful person you were before.

Anastasia Beaverhausen said...

I know exactly what you mean. I have been fat all of my life and people identify that as a part of me. I will be having gastric banding surgery in the next week, and people are shocked that I am having this done. Not because I am having the surgery, but that I want to lose the weight. People have this odd assumption that I enjoy being the size that I am. While it would take some getting used to if I reach my ideal weight, I don't think people get what it is like to be looked at for assumptions on lifestyle.

Mama Bear June said...

Some people are just jerks, that's for certain. Attitude can be everything while traveling this path to health. You are awesome!
Path to Health

IRJessica said...

I like this post alot. I have always been into beauty. It always surprises me the degree to which people miss beauty. I mean gorgeous women stay beautiful, even when they are hiding in too much weight. I wish everyone could see the beauty that I see. I can count the number on my hands, of women I've met who couldn't be a model or actress or something if she just had the right hair or makeup, diet et. Sigh. Maybe someday?