Monday, November 17, 2008

It's Never Too Late to Be What You Might Have Been

That's me, circa 1985, the second from the right (and how unfortunate, I'm the only little tomboy in pants!!!) My best friend from Pre-K, who I later ended up transferring to my high school during senior year, posted this on Facebook earlier today, and I started thinking: Who is that little girl? What is she thinking? Why is she not smiling? (I think the answer to that is I was concentrating on saying cheese.) Did I have any idea where I would be almost 24 years later??

Five years ago, I didn't think I would be divorced. Ten years ago, I couldn't imagine having to go through this journey to lose 100 pounds (considering 10 years ago, I was about 15 pounds lighter than where I am right now). Fifteen years ago, I couldn't picture myself going through a PhD program to become a professor. And yet here I am today. My life is being lived in ways I never imagined. There is a lot more living to do, but when you think back, isn't it amazing how we get to be who we are today?

I have a bookmark that reads "It is never too late to be what you might have been." It is a quote by George Eliot. I was looking at this bookmark last night and thinking... you know what? I'm happy where I am right now. It's definitely not where I expected to be in my late 20s, but you know what? All those bumps and falls and scrapes along the way have made me a stronger woman, emotionally and physically. I'm a lot more sure of myself than I was even three years ago. I credit that to taking better care of myself. I am me and I can shape who I want to be. I can do that by going to the gym. I can do that by listening to my inner voice and following my gut.

One of the things that I've always done was to make deadlines for myself: I'll have my PhD by 26 (it was 27, but who's counting?); I'll be married at 27; I'll have my first baby at 30. I can lose 100 pounds in one year. If I've learned anything over this journey called life, it's that we don't know what's going to happen to us next year, next week, or tomorrow. And I'm okay with that. I tried to think where I would be 24 years in the future... which would make me 52. There's a lot of living to do in those years and I'm going to enjoy every minute of it... and live with no regrets.


ptg said...

Great post, and what a great thought....

I think back now to who I was just 5 years ago. I was married...unhappily so. I had no children. I had no idea what I was doing or who I was or what I wanted.

While I am now happily married, and a better idea of who I am, I still do not know everything I am capable of. And to be honest, I hope I continue to surprise myself as I keep pushing forward on this journey. :o)

RooBabs said...

Wow, that is a great quote, and really gets me thinking (but kind of in a depressing, I'm not living up to my potential kind of way).

It reminds me of my brother's life motto, "no regrets". I constantly have to tell myself that life isn't a destination, it's a journey, and it's certainly not a race to the finish.

It's good to hear that you're happy where you're at now. You're living a good life, and you're doing amazing things. You have a lot to be proud of, Kiki!! Good for you!

Angie Eats Peace said...

I love this post.
I am a person who likes to give myself deadlines, too, but I usually drive myself crazy.
Congrats on all your accomplishments!

JanetM97 said...

I love that quote. Hello from a fellow HYCer! Congrats on all your weight loss success! I think in weight loss- like in most things- a positive attitued counts for a lot, eh?

carla said...

LOVE the photo.

and try to live this entire post.

we've already established I think you are an amazing and amazingly STRONG WOMAN.

but Im saying it again.

(I adore this line: My life is being lived in ways I never imagined. IT IS SO TRUE FOR ME AS WELL)

xo xo,

Cammy said...

Great post! (cute picture)

Speaking from the closer to 52 side of the equation (really close), I would advise: Don't forget to BE where you are right now. Soak it in. Rejoice in it. Appreciate it.

Devon said...

you inspire me :)

Marcie said...

Five years ago...hmmmm....I was still feeling like a loser after being dumped by my boyfriend of 2.5 THAT'S behind me!

I love that quote...and cute pic! You have accomplished so much...a PhD at 27?? WOW! I feel like I should be referencing you as DR. Kiki from now on. ;)

Itty Bitty said...

This is my first comment on your blog but I have been reading and a fan for a while.
(Nestie here! )
This is such an inspiring post and I love the quote!
No regrets in life; only lessons learned and the joy of seeing what is next!

KK said...

Great quote! Just what I needed for today!

And great point by Cammy to remember to enjoy where you are today!