Monday, November 17, 2008
It's Never Too Late to Be What You Might Have Been
That's me, circa 1985, the second from the right (and how unfortunate, I'm the only little tomboy in pants!!!) My best friend from Pre-K, who I later ended up transferring to my high school during senior year, posted this on Facebook earlier today, and I started thinking: Who is that little girl? What is she thinking? Why is she not smiling? (I think the answer to that is I was concentrating on saying cheese.) Did I have any idea where I would be almost 24 years later??
Five years ago, I didn't think I would be divorced. Ten years ago, I couldn't imagine having to go through this journey to lose 100 pounds (considering 10 years ago, I was about 15 pounds lighter than where I am right now). Fifteen years ago, I couldn't picture myself going through a PhD program to become a professor. And yet here I am today. My life is being lived in ways I never imagined. There is a lot more living to do, but when you think back, isn't it amazing how we get to be who we are today?
I have a bookmark that reads "It is never too late to be what you might have been." It is a quote by George Eliot. I was looking at this bookmark last night and thinking... you know what? I'm happy where I am right now. It's definitely not where I expected to be in my late 20s, but you know what? All those bumps and falls and scrapes along the way have made me a stronger woman, emotionally and physically. I'm a lot more sure of myself than I was even three years ago. I credit that to taking better care of myself. I am me and I can shape who I want to be. I can do that by going to the gym. I can do that by listening to my inner voice and following my gut.
One of the things that I've always done was to make deadlines for myself: I'll have my PhD by 26 (it was 27, but who's counting?); I'll be married at 27; I'll have my first baby at 30. I can lose 100 pounds in one year. If I've learned anything over this journey called life, it's that we don't know what's going to happen to us next year, next week, or tomorrow. And I'm okay with that. I tried to think where I would be 24 years in the future... which would make me 52. There's a lot of living to do in those years and I'm going to enjoy every minute of it... and live with no regrets.