Oops...

It's been a while since I posted. But I'll get to that in a bit.

My first week back, I gained two pounds. Yup, you heard right. Drove me insane! I worked out, ate right and gained two pounds. Ughhhhhhh. I was beyond disappointed. Then, I decided to hit the gym hard the next week, but both Baby and I got the flu. Awful! So I haven't been at the gym for a week now. We're both feeling better now, so back to the drawing board!

Gearing up for the big...

Well, definitely not the big game, as I don't care for either of the teams in the Superbowl. I'm a huge Eagles fan, and Mr. Kiki is a huge Steelers fan... it just wasn't in the cards for a PA Superbowl. Anyway, I'm ready for the big C. The big CHANGE. On Friday, I met with my trainer and on Saturday, I met with my nutritionist. I feel like I'm really equipped to start this new journey in my life. What was great that both of them were really approachable and realistic about goals. For instance, my trainer wants me to get 2-3 hours of cardio in a week until we meet again in 10 days. I can TOTALLY do that. My nutritionist wants me to stick to a calorie goal as well as add more protein to every meal and stay away from overloading on carbs. I can TOTALLY do that. I told them about my previous weight loss journey, and they both asked me what I thought made that work. I realized that I was single so I had a lot of control over things: namely, what I ate and when I exercised. I used to go on 8 mile hikes with my friends that lasted for hours without worrying about anyone at home. I can't really do that anymore. I have Mr. Kiki and Baby K. I want to spend as much time with them as I can. Both my trainer and nutritionist recognize that this is an important goal for me, along with getting healthy. I'm a little too excited for this new part of my journey. It might be the first time that I'm looking at making these lifestyle changes with a "YES!" attitude rather than a "Oh, man... I have to do WHAT?" attitude. I'm hoping that makes me more successful as well.

What's your number?

So, a few things have changed since the last time I blogged. I got engaged. I got married. I had a baby. Throughout all those things, I gain back all the weight I had lost and more. I know, I know, I was pregnant, but I got pregnant at a high weight. I remember the day that I went in for my induction, the nurse asked me to step on the scale. OMG. The highest number I ever saw. Easily. The worst part about it is that a week later, when I finally had the guts to step on the scale, I had only lost 10 pounds. I had an almost 9 pound baby, and had only lost 10 pounds. That was five months ago. As part of getting my life back in gear after a four month maternity leave, I decided to take advantage of a "once in a lifetime" benefit offered by my health insurance. For a $20 copay, I have access to a personal trainer, a nutritionist, a gym membership, and behavioral counseling to help me kick my butt back into gear. In order to qualify for this program, not only did I have to be obese (duh) but I also had to fill out a lot of behavioral questionnaires along with getting my PCP's permission and some bloodwork done. One of the questions I was asked was how many diets I had been on during my adult life. Hmm... I consider my adult life to start from the moment I graduated college 12 years ago. How many diets had I been on since then? Well, there was a failed attempt at Weight Watchers, a short lived attempt at Slimfast (seriously, wtf was I thinking?), my short-lived tolerance for a Six Week Body Makeover, my "divorce diet" (which was my only success, since I threw myself into eating right and exercising my heart out), my bad attempt at using Alli (seriously, if I wanted to poo myself, I didn't need assistance!), and my numerous attempts at South Beach. That's six major "diets" in twelve years. In twelve years, I had gained 60 pounds, lost 80, and gained 110 (that includes growing a fetus, but you know...) What the heck was I doing? What road was I going down? I do know that my current weight does not make me happy. I don't like going clothes shopping. I don't enjoy that I have a hard time getting up after playing with Baby K on the floor. I don't like my flabby gut that hangs over my c-section scar. Something has to change. Over the past few weeks, I've been counting calories. On Wednesday, I'm meeting with the nutritionist for the first time, and on Friday morning, I have an appointment for my first "assessment" with my personal trainer. I'm glad you're joining me on this journey again. And this time will be the last time, because I realize that I can't keep doing this to myself.