Monday, September 8, 2008
Makes me that much stronger
Don't have much time on this busy Monday morning... but I was listening to this song during my run. It made me think about how far I've come from that girl who started losing weight around this time last year. Hope y'all are having a good day!
Sunday, September 7, 2008
50 First Dates
Thank goodness I didn't wear my Sophia Loren dress today... It would have been a total waste. This is the second date in a month that was just awful, although more awful than the first. I'm seriously starting to wonder that now, since I've come into my own and have taken the time to get to know and actually like the "real" me, if I'll ever find a guy that will do the same. If I don't, that's fine. But geez, it is frustrating to go out with the wrong guy, again and again. And these are painful dates, not even fun "Mr. Wrong" dates. Sigh.
Since my classes are prepped for tomorrow, I'm going to take up residence on my couch for the rest of the evening and watch "Under the Tuscan Sun" and other chick movies. Hope you had a better Sunday than I did :)
Since my classes are prepped for tomorrow, I'm going to take up residence on my couch for the rest of the evening and watch "Under the Tuscan Sun" and other chick movies. Hope you had a better Sunday than I did :)
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Sugar Kane
When I first started losing weight, I tore pictures out of US Weekly and Marie Claire of women who I thought were gorgeous and had great bodies. The only "real" looking woman that I had up there was Sara Ramirez (the gorgeous Dr. Callie Torres from Grey's Anatomy). Over time, I've ripped down the unattainable bodies that I had decorating my fridge... Nicole Kidman, Katie Holmes, Lauren Conrad. Instead, I've decided to make a real looking woman my body inspiration:
Miss Marilyn Monroe. Yes, she had her issues (don't we all?), but talk about someone who looks real. Her chest, her hips, her thighs... all real! I've come to the point where I think I could look like a Marilyn. I'll definitely never be a Keira Knightley or Nicole Kidman, but Marilyn is a real girl. I'm coming to the conclusion that I'll always have noticeable hips and thighs, but why hide them? Why not show them off like Miss Monroe did?
I bought a dress this summer. It's sleeveless (a big step for me) and it is black with huge white polkadots. I like to call it my Sophia Loren dress. But then again, it could easily be a Marilyn dress as well. It shows off my much smaller waist and emphasizes my curves. Why should I be concerned about fitting into clothes that Kate Moss could wear, when I could easily emulate one of these real beauties from the past? The best part about it is that whenever I wear it, I get a ton of compliments, which just boosts my self-esteem. Hmm... maybe I should wear that for my date tomorrow!
Miss Marilyn Monroe. Yes, she had her issues (don't we all?), but talk about someone who looks real. Her chest, her hips, her thighs... all real! I've come to the point where I think I could look like a Marilyn. I'll definitely never be a Keira Knightley or Nicole Kidman, but Marilyn is a real girl. I'm coming to the conclusion that I'll always have noticeable hips and thighs, but why hide them? Why not show them off like Miss Monroe did?
I bought a dress this summer. It's sleeveless (a big step for me) and it is black with huge white polkadots. I like to call it my Sophia Loren dress. But then again, it could easily be a Marilyn dress as well. It shows off my much smaller waist and emphasizes my curves. Why should I be concerned about fitting into clothes that Kate Moss could wear, when I could easily emulate one of these real beauties from the past? The best part about it is that whenever I wear it, I get a ton of compliments, which just boosts my self-esteem. Hmm... maybe I should wear that for my date tomorrow!
Friday, September 5, 2008
Weekly Weigh-In: Ragweed = Sleepy Kiki
Since Monday, I've been having a hard time getting out of bed. I was writing it up to me just being lazy, but then two of my friends started complaining about their allergies. Wait! I have allergies. Mean ones to boot. But I'm not stuffy at all. Instead, I realize that I've been existing in this drug hazed stupor. I take my allergy meds at night in order to sleep some of the drowsiness off, but I guess combined with my usual dose of melatonin (a natural supplement to help me fall asleep and stay asleep), it's making me super tired.
Which brings me to the last few days. Yesterday, I completely skipped my workout. Woke up at 9AM. I never wake up at 9AM on a weekday! 8AM if I'm feeling particularly lazy, but never 9. I had to go into the office because I had a lunch meeting, so I planned on going to the gym afterwards. Yup, never happened. Ended up coming home, throwing a blanket on my legs, finishing my fun book that I was reading, and taking an hour long nap. This morning, again, I woke up at 8. But instead of writing my workout off until later, I decided to get up and go for my run. How often do I need to remind myself that I hate running when the sun is up? I love my early morning/ 6:30-7AM runs. I like driving home around 8AM, not getting to my parking lot at 8AM to start my run. This one was another stinky one. I only ran for about 20 minutes. Then I quit and walked back to my car. I tried to make myself feel better by saying "Hey, you got out of bed this morning and went for a run instead of just hitting the snooze!" but I was still feeling awfully lazy. Damn Allegra.
I've also been feeling incredibly Inspector Gadget-y. When I go out for a run, I always check to make sure I have my tools: my pedometer (which I figured out how to switch it back to miles), my Ipod, my watch, my water bottle (which I leave in my car), my ball cap, and my super cool wrist keychain (although, I fully admit to stuffing my keys in my bra... hey, what's the use of wearing two of them if you can't use them as a pocket too?) Obviously, my focus when I run is on my watch. Then I check my pedometer. Then I need to switch a song on my Ipod to keep me going. I feel like saying "Go go Gadget Ipod!" I wish there was a way for me to reduce my gear, but at the same time, I don't want to spend any extra money on doing that right now :)
Oh, weight wise, I gained over the past two weeks... 2.2 pounds to be exact. Am I surprised? No. I've been eating crappy and drinking way too much. Holidays and conferences will do that to you. But am I back on the right track? I am. And I hope to see some results next week :)
Which brings me to the last few days. Yesterday, I completely skipped my workout. Woke up at 9AM. I never wake up at 9AM on a weekday! 8AM if I'm feeling particularly lazy, but never 9. I had to go into the office because I had a lunch meeting, so I planned on going to the gym afterwards. Yup, never happened. Ended up coming home, throwing a blanket on my legs, finishing my fun book that I was reading, and taking an hour long nap. This morning, again, I woke up at 8. But instead of writing my workout off until later, I decided to get up and go for my run. How often do I need to remind myself that I hate running when the sun is up? I love my early morning/ 6:30-7AM runs. I like driving home around 8AM, not getting to my parking lot at 8AM to start my run. This one was another stinky one. I only ran for about 20 minutes. Then I quit and walked back to my car. I tried to make myself feel better by saying "Hey, you got out of bed this morning and went for a run instead of just hitting the snooze!" but I was still feeling awfully lazy. Damn Allegra.
I've also been feeling incredibly Inspector Gadget-y. When I go out for a run, I always check to make sure I have my tools: my pedometer (which I figured out how to switch it back to miles), my Ipod, my watch, my water bottle (which I leave in my car), my ball cap, and my super cool wrist keychain (although, I fully admit to stuffing my keys in my bra... hey, what's the use of wearing two of them if you can't use them as a pocket too?) Obviously, my focus when I run is on my watch. Then I check my pedometer. Then I need to switch a song on my Ipod to keep me going. I feel like saying "Go go Gadget Ipod!" I wish there was a way for me to reduce my gear, but at the same time, I don't want to spend any extra money on doing that right now :)
Oh, weight wise, I gained over the past two weeks... 2.2 pounds to be exact. Am I surprised? No. I've been eating crappy and drinking way too much. Holidays and conferences will do that to you. But am I back on the right track? I am. And I hope to see some results next week :)
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Personal Best!
Okay, so I finished my morning run about 45 minutes ago, and I'm still in a bit of shock. This morning, I woke up a bit on the late side... around 7:30. It all started last night when I got in from my Tuesday night trivia group. I always seem so tired when I leave there (I guess two amaretto sours will do that to you) but by the time I get home, I get a second wind. So, I didn't actually turn my light off until midnight, and I adjusted my clock to let me sleep in a bit. My alarm went off at 7, but I didn't roll out of bed until 7:30. In my head, a little voice said "this run is going to be as crappy as Monday's 'cause you slept in too late." But I shrugged off, threw on my running clothes and drove to the stadium.
When I got there, I decided to try something a little different. First, I did my warmup walk through a neighborhood not too far from the stadium/hospital complex. Then, when I turned around towards the stadium to start my 25 minute run, I didn't take my usual route. Instead, I followed some paths around the stadium, and looped through the hospital parking lot until I got to the path that I usually take. I followed that path for a while before I once again deviated off the path and through the parking lot (much better on my knees than concrete sidewalk). At one point I looked at my pedometer (did I mention that it's stuck on kilometer mode and won't switch back to miles?) and it said 2.4 km. Um... I've been averaging 3.6 km on these 25 minute runs (and yes, that includes warm up and cool down walks). So, that freaked me out. I thought that deviating from my usual path totally messed up my run.
It got to the point where, about 18-20 minutes into the run, my legs felt like lead. Seriously, it was like someone put leg weights on me. I also felt so tired, like I couldn't keep going, that I just wanted to curl into a ball on the lawn next to the smokers and die. But I put some Eminem on (Lose Yourself is a great motivational song!) and kept going. Got to my car and looked at the pedometer.
4.66 kilometers. That's 2.8 MILES. Are you kidding me?????? I did that with a 10 minute walk and a 25 minute run?????? So, then I started questioning myself. Could the pedometer have misfunctioned? Did it really seem like I ran that far? Is something messing with me?
But, finally, 45 minutes later, a calm has come over me. I DID IT. I kicked the 25 minute run's butt. Me. Crappy Monday run Kiki. Drank one too many amaretto sours last night Kiki. Feeling super heavy since her food and drink orgy for all of last week Kiki. Me.
I am proud. I feel strong. I did it.
When I got there, I decided to try something a little different. First, I did my warmup walk through a neighborhood not too far from the stadium/hospital complex. Then, when I turned around towards the stadium to start my 25 minute run, I didn't take my usual route. Instead, I followed some paths around the stadium, and looped through the hospital parking lot until I got to the path that I usually take. I followed that path for a while before I once again deviated off the path and through the parking lot (much better on my knees than concrete sidewalk). At one point I looked at my pedometer (did I mention that it's stuck on kilometer mode and won't switch back to miles?) and it said 2.4 km. Um... I've been averaging 3.6 km on these 25 minute runs (and yes, that includes warm up and cool down walks). So, that freaked me out. I thought that deviating from my usual path totally messed up my run.
It got to the point where, about 18-20 minutes into the run, my legs felt like lead. Seriously, it was like someone put leg weights on me. I also felt so tired, like I couldn't keep going, that I just wanted to curl into a ball on the lawn next to the smokers and die. But I put some Eminem on (Lose Yourself is a great motivational song!) and kept going. Got to my car and looked at the pedometer.
4.66 kilometers. That's 2.8 MILES. Are you kidding me?????? I did that with a 10 minute walk and a 25 minute run?????? So, then I started questioning myself. Could the pedometer have misfunctioned? Did it really seem like I ran that far? Is something messing with me?
But, finally, 45 minutes later, a calm has come over me. I DID IT. I kicked the 25 minute run's butt. Me. Crappy Monday run Kiki. Drank one too many amaretto sours last night Kiki. Feeling super heavy since her food and drink orgy for all of last week Kiki. Me.
I am proud. I feel strong. I did it.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Groundhog Day
Since the end of the spring semester, I've become some what lax in my approach to my weight loss/fitness goals. In the past three months, I've lost a total of five pounds. That's it! I don't understand what has happened. I lost 20 pounds in four months during the spring semester. Then I crashed and burned. I spent the summer eating everything I wanted (moderation be damned) and barely exercising (it was way too hot). So, here I am, typing on the day after Labor Day, wondering what went wrong.
There is something about the semester that brings about a schedule for my eating and my exercising. Something that I think can be recaptured since my travelling for work is done for the semester (next conference is not until February) and that should help. Looking ahead, I really shouldn't have a stressful semester. I should be able to get my work done, workout and eat healthy. So, there. I'm not going to aim for 20 pounds by the end of the semester, but I think I can lose 15. That's an attainable goal that won't stress me out. I also want to run a 5K by the end of the semester. I'm aiming for that one on October 19, but if I can't do it by then, I'll definitely do the one in November. I want to continue this progression towards a healthy body weight and not get frustrated at this self-made plateau that I'm at.
Grr... so I've said it. I haven't been losing because of ME. No one else to blame. But I recognize that, and am ready to move on and forward instead of giving me another pass at eating bad or not exercising. I hope those of you who have been having troubles staying motivated take that to heart and recommit yourself as well.
There is something about the semester that brings about a schedule for my eating and my exercising. Something that I think can be recaptured since my travelling for work is done for the semester (next conference is not until February) and that should help. Looking ahead, I really shouldn't have a stressful semester. I should be able to get my work done, workout and eat healthy. So, there. I'm not going to aim for 20 pounds by the end of the semester, but I think I can lose 15. That's an attainable goal that won't stress me out. I also want to run a 5K by the end of the semester. I'm aiming for that one on October 19, but if I can't do it by then, I'll definitely do the one in November. I want to continue this progression towards a healthy body weight and not get frustrated at this self-made plateau that I'm at.
Grr... so I've said it. I haven't been losing because of ME. No one else to blame. But I recognize that, and am ready to move on and forward instead of giving me another pass at eating bad or not exercising. I hope those of you who have been having troubles staying motivated take that to heart and recommit yourself as well.
Monday, September 1, 2008
My weekend... The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly
I fully admit to C&P'ing this from an email I sent a friend about my weekend. However, I can't imagine retyping this WHOLE thing. Hope you're all enjoying your Labor Day holiday... and that you actually got a day off like me!
Boston: Was awesome. E's a great roomie (so much so than any of my other conference roomies, which is good because I hate roomming with friends and then not getting along). Ate lots of good yummy/bad for me food, including Italian pastries, Cheesecake Factory, and two bowls of lobster bisque (on different days, not in a row). Bought a pair of dressy, comfy shoes that I thought would rock for my 30 minute walk to the conference hotel. Ha. My heels are all ripped up. They look awful and feel even worse. I swear, it's not a conference unless blisters/skin ripping are involved. Friday: saw lots of grad school people. My dissertation chair commented on how happy and relaxed I looked (it's just not in D Chair to comment on my physical changes, he's so old school sometimes). Ran into R (my friend from Argentina that started our grad program at the same time as me)... he told me after a 30 minute chat (and imagine the accent): "Kiki, not only do you look great physically, but you are so... HAPPY." Seriously, thinking about that makes me want to cry. The rest? They actually had to look at my NAME TAG in order to figure out who I was and then was like OMG! Kiki! My fave (after R's comment) was one of my old prof's wives who now lives in NC, but we used to play softball together. She grabbed me, hugged me, and said YOU LOOK SO GREAT. It felt awesome. Seriously, I was walking on air on Friday (not to mention my poster session kicked ass and I got a lot of helpful comments on my project and I had two free glasses of wine at these receptions).
Boondocks, Saturday night: Drove home from the airport, got back around 9PM. E got in her car and drove away before I even got in my apt, which I'm usually cool with but... I don't know why, but something made me try my door before I even put the key in the lock. IT WAS COMPLETELY UNLOCKED. The door was shut, but the locks were open. WTF? I started to freak out, but for some reason, went in anyway. Walked around my apartment and NOTHING WAS MISSING. Nothing. Not the credit cards that I had left on my kitchen table, my jewelry in my jewelry box, my tv, my computer. Nothing. The only thing I found out of order was a piece of insulation on the floor of my closet, which my AC unit is in my crawl space. So (still freaked out at this moment) I call my landlady and tell her what's going on and say to her "was someone in my apartment to change my ac filter because they left the doors unlocked?" Her response? "I can't tell you if that happened or not because I"m not in the office." UM WTF????? You can't remember if the AC filters were changed this week or not? So, she tells me to call security, which in this state of mind, I'm like, what's the number to which she says "YOU SHOULD HAVE THAT PROGRAMMED IN YOUR CELL PHONE." Um... again WTF? Are you kidding me? I just got back from being gone for five days to find my apartment unlocked most probably by one of your workers and you have the guts to yell at me for bothering you on a Saturday night? So, I finally find the security number, the guy comes over, walks through the apartment with me again, and he give me a big hug (because at this point, I'm hysterically crying between the finding my door open/bitchy landlady) and tells me that he has a daughter about my age... because I'm 21 or 22 right? Um... well, that made me smile considering I'm 18 months from my 30th birthday. I eventually calmed down, and slept like a baby. I'm still alive, so I'm guessing that's what happened and that Hannibal Lector isn't living in my crawlspace and indeed it was someone from the office who left my door open.
Yesterday... S and I drove to the local Italian Heritage festival. Um, boring. Good food, but small and boring. But we got caught up since we hadn't seen each other since before I left for Boston. Went to Walmart yesterday and bought a watch for $8 for running (and it's pink!). This morning, thought my heels were ready for a run, so I went... ugh. Bad idea. It was too hot (I went around 10AM because I slept in), my heels were killing me (bandaids be damned) and it just sucked. I ended up running the half out, but then I walked the half back. Eh, can't all be good runs, right? I'll wait until Wednesday to try it again.
I'm going over to some friends for a cookout this afternoon. S and E will be there as well. It'll be nice to get out of my apartment for a while even though I've been completely bumming all weekend. Tomorrow, I'm starting over. Yet again. Geez. Let me rephrase that. I'm going to concretely recommit to my fitness and nutrition program. Stay tuned for that :)
Boston: Was awesome. E's a great roomie (so much so than any of my other conference roomies, which is good because I hate roomming with friends and then not getting along). Ate lots of good yummy/bad for me food, including Italian pastries, Cheesecake Factory, and two bowls of lobster bisque (on different days, not in a row). Bought a pair of dressy, comfy shoes that I thought would rock for my 30 minute walk to the conference hotel. Ha. My heels are all ripped up. They look awful and feel even worse. I swear, it's not a conference unless blisters/skin ripping are involved. Friday: saw lots of grad school people. My dissertation chair commented on how happy and relaxed I looked (it's just not in D Chair to comment on my physical changes, he's so old school sometimes). Ran into R (my friend from Argentina that started our grad program at the same time as me)... he told me after a 30 minute chat (and imagine the accent): "Kiki, not only do you look great physically, but you are so... HAPPY." Seriously, thinking about that makes me want to cry. The rest? They actually had to look at my NAME TAG in order to figure out who I was and then was like OMG! Kiki! My fave (after R's comment) was one of my old prof's wives who now lives in NC, but we used to play softball together. She grabbed me, hugged me, and said YOU LOOK SO GREAT. It felt awesome. Seriously, I was walking on air on Friday (not to mention my poster session kicked ass and I got a lot of helpful comments on my project and I had two free glasses of wine at these receptions).
Boondocks, Saturday night: Drove home from the airport, got back around 9PM. E got in her car and drove away before I even got in my apt, which I'm usually cool with but... I don't know why, but something made me try my door before I even put the key in the lock. IT WAS COMPLETELY UNLOCKED. The door was shut, but the locks were open. WTF? I started to freak out, but for some reason, went in anyway. Walked around my apartment and NOTHING WAS MISSING. Nothing. Not the credit cards that I had left on my kitchen table, my jewelry in my jewelry box, my tv, my computer. Nothing. The only thing I found out of order was a piece of insulation on the floor of my closet, which my AC unit is in my crawl space. So (still freaked out at this moment) I call my landlady and tell her what's going on and say to her "was someone in my apartment to change my ac filter because they left the doors unlocked?" Her response? "I can't tell you if that happened or not because I"m not in the office." UM WTF????? You can't remember if the AC filters were changed this week or not? So, she tells me to call security, which in this state of mind, I'm like, what's the number to which she says "YOU SHOULD HAVE THAT PROGRAMMED IN YOUR CELL PHONE." Um... again WTF? Are you kidding me? I just got back from being gone for five days to find my apartment unlocked most probably by one of your workers and you have the guts to yell at me for bothering you on a Saturday night? So, I finally find the security number, the guy comes over, walks through the apartment with me again, and he give me a big hug (because at this point, I'm hysterically crying between the finding my door open/bitchy landlady) and tells me that he has a daughter about my age... because I'm 21 or 22 right? Um... well, that made me smile considering I'm 18 months from my 30th birthday. I eventually calmed down, and slept like a baby. I'm still alive, so I'm guessing that's what happened and that Hannibal Lector isn't living in my crawlspace and indeed it was someone from the office who left my door open.
Yesterday... S and I drove to the local Italian Heritage festival. Um, boring. Good food, but small and boring. But we got caught up since we hadn't seen each other since before I left for Boston. Went to Walmart yesterday and bought a watch for $8 for running (and it's pink!). This morning, thought my heels were ready for a run, so I went... ugh. Bad idea. It was too hot (I went around 10AM because I slept in), my heels were killing me (bandaids be damned) and it just sucked. I ended up running the half out, but then I walked the half back. Eh, can't all be good runs, right? I'll wait until Wednesday to try it again.
I'm going over to some friends for a cookout this afternoon. S and E will be there as well. It'll be nice to get out of my apartment for a while even though I've been completely bumming all weekend. Tomorrow, I'm starting over. Yet again. Geez. Let me rephrase that. I'm going to concretely recommit to my fitness and nutrition program. Stay tuned for that :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)