Taking Chances

It took some convincing...

2011-10-20T08:15:00.002-04:00

In my last post, I told the blogosphere that I was going to get up early and exercise before I went to the office. Well, it might have taken almost two weeks of some convincing, but I finally did it. There's just no way for me to work out after I get home from the office. I work hard, I'm tired, and I'm just unmotivated. If I did it in the morning... then I wouldn't be awake enough to really complain about it :)

I came up with the brilliant idea to try couch to 5K again. I'm about 30 pounds heavier than the last time I tried it out, so I was prepared for failure. Surprisingly enough (to me), I was awesome. The first week is 20 minute of 60 seconds running and 90 seconds of walking. I really didn't think that I would be able to make it through 20 minutes, and I pictured myself gasping for air after the first 60 second run. (Obviously, I still haven't caught onto that positive thinking thing.) And yet... I surprised myself. I made it through the whole 20 minutes without getting a side cramp. Including the 5 minute warm up walk and the 5 minute cool down walk... I did 30 minutes of cardio today.

HIGH FIVE!

Cuando, cuando, cuando

2011-10-10T07:26:00.002-04:00

Once upon a time, getting up at 6AM to hit the gym was second nature. Okay, I won't really lie to you... it wasn't second nature, but a lot easier than it is now. Now, getting up at 7AM is a chore in itself. There's something nice about snuggling up next to your husband, especially on a chilly fall morning. It's like having your own personal heater. (And yes, people, I'm talking about snuggling, get your minds out of the gutter!) I usually head into the office by 9 and come home by 5:30 or 6. I make dinner (if it's Monday or Wednesday... Mr. Kiki makes dinner on T/R when I have an afternoon full of teaching). and then settle in for the night.

Oh yes, I settle in for the night around 7PM.

As much as I've been loathing Jillian Michaels lately (don't ask... she kinda irritates me on a talk show), there's a line in the 30 Day Shred that always sticks with me. Here's an excerpt: “People are so placated by groups that say, ‘Start by taking the stairs,” says Michaels. “What? That makes people think, ‘I’m so fragile, I can barely take the staircase.’” In fact, she says, the human body can withstand a lot—and increasing the intensity of your workout is one of the fastest ways to burn calories and lose weight. “The more we hear this false message of lethargy, the more we believe it,” she says. “As humans, we have evolved to the point where the sky is not the limit. Your capabilities are, in fact, limitless.”

So... I don't want to get up before 7AM, but I want to be settled in by 7PM? Pretty unbelievable, right? I sound like a 70 year old versus a 31 year old. I've decided to commit myself to some evening workout time. There's nothing wrong with hitting the elliptical or the treadmill at 7:30PM, especially since I've been utilizing my complex's workout room. Or, if I didn't want to go there, I could easily pop in a video and do 30 minutes of cardio in the bedroom. These are all things that I *used* to do... but since I met my personal heater... er, Mr. Kiki... it's been more difficult to unlatch myself from the snuggliness that is our post-dinner routine. Let's see how successful I am with this approach.

Red in the face

2011-10-05T09:03:00.002-04:00

Monday was my first workout session in what seems like forever. I had a small procedure done in mid-September (all is fine, and I'm okay) and so I had to lay off the exercise for almost two and a half weeks. Funny, but in the workup for this procedure, my surgeon sent me a list of things to do BEFORE the surgery that would make afterward that much easier. Along with eating right and not taking anything that could thin my blood (fun, right?), he also suggested taking 30 minute walks to pump up my stamina. For someone who was having a hard time working out, walks were great. I got out in the sun. I enjoyed the rolling hills of the medical campus not too far from my home. Fresh air. Yum.

Well, the past five days have been absolutely crappy weather-wise. It got cold on Friday, which turned into wet and VERY cold on Saturday and Sunday and Monday. On Monday afternoon, I wanted to wrap myself up in a blanket and watch Real Housewives of Anywhere, but instead, I dragged myself to the workout room in my complex. It's a small room with two treadmills, two ellipticals, a recumbent bike, and a nautilus machine, but it wasn't raining in there. I got myself on a treadmill and took off! The machines all face a one way mirror (the women in the complex's office can see you, but you're looking at your reflection) and I couldn't believe how red my face got. Has it been that long? Was it the awkwardness of the treadmill? Both?

When my 30 minutes were up, I was a little disappointed with how far I had gotten distance-wise, but then I thought that it was an accomplishment getting to the gym rather than curling up with a blanket and Bravo. And my flushed face had a smile on it as I walked back to my apartment in the rain.

Waking Up

2011-10-03T07:57:00.003-04:00

It's been quite a while since I wrote on *any* blog, but especially this one. However, over the weekend, one of my favorite long-lost weight-loss bloggers turned up on my google reader, and I thought to myself... "wait, how many people are still subscribed to Taking Chances? I wonder if people are still listening, and wondering where I've been." The answer: 63. There are sixty three people subscribed to this blog. Unbelievable. You've been here all along. Where have I been?

This summer was a bit of a trying time for me, emotionally and physically. I did a boot camp for six weeks that felt great, but after my wedding in mid-summer, I pretty much stopped going to the gym. The rest of the summer was an on and off of fitness. I love going out for walks (long challenging walks, with hills and hills and hills) but the weather isn't cooperating. I'm thinking about joining a gym again until the weather gets warm again. It doesn't mean I need to go every day, but on those days like today, where it's rainy and cold, heading to a warm gym with nice cardio equipment would be a great idea.

Anyway, I'm back. I'm not going to act like I'm going to cannonball back in, but I am going to use this blog to help me learn some good habits once again.

Weekly Weigh In: I left my motivation in San Francisco...

2011-01-21T10:19:00.004-05:00

Okay, channelling Tony Bennett... I left my motivation in Philly over the weekend. Last Friday, I didn't post my Weekly Weigh In, because we left very early to drive to Philly to visit my mom for her birthday. But I had a very successful week... losing close to three pounds!! Fast forward one week, lots of eating out, no exercise, and some stress eating, guess what? That weekly weigh in is gone. I've literally gained back the weight that I lost last week. So, I find myself back at the beginning.

But according to Julie Andrews, isn't that a very good place to start? Well, maybe not on this health journey.

I started to think about my lost motivation. Why do I want to lose weight?

1) I want to get off my blood pressure meds.

2) I don't want to have a stroke at age 41, like my cousin did.

3) I want to be able to conceive without any problems, when the time is right.

4) I don't want a difficult pregnancy, nor do I want to be classified as high risk pregnancy.

5) I want to be able to fit in clothes that I can buy in the "misses" section, not the "plus" section.

6) I want to be strong again.

7) I don't want to get winded walking up the stairs at my office (four flights) or walking from my parking lot to the office (all uphill).

8) I want to look awesome in a bathing suit on my honeymoon.

9) I want to feel sexy in my wedding dress.

10) I don't want to have to wear spanx to suck in my belly.

Most of my reasons are health related, but there are some vanity ones in there as well. I want to be healthy, but I also want to be happy, and yes, my self-esteem has taken a hit lately. I've been racking my brain lately as to what I can do to motivate myself. Somehow, waking up to do workout tapes has not been motivating. I think that I need to re-join a gym. I loved working out at the gym, using the weight machines, the rowing machine, etc. I felt strong then. And, thanks to my job, I have a new temporary six-month raise (yes, it's temporary, don't ask, I'll take what I can get) that I can justify using for this venture. So, here we go again. To me, starting over again and again is probably better than just giving up all together, right? And maybe, I'll get this thing going once again.

My Biggest Fear

2011-01-10T20:31:00.002-05:00

I'm sitting here watching last week's episode of the Biggest Loser... and certain woman (who's name I don't remember, I know, awful) moved me to tears with her story. She's had multiple miscarriages due to her weight. While I have never been pregnant and am currently not trying to get pregnant, I know how much of a factor weight is on a healthy pregnancy, and at three months out from my 31st birthday, I'd be lying if I didn't say that this was something on my mind. And this woman... she embodies everything I'm afraid of. *shudder*

The next step on my weight loss journey is that I joined Weight Watchers online today. All I can say is WTF? I've had success on the old school WW plan, so I thought I'd try this new plan out. I used the calculator around lunch time today and the calculations don't use calories anymore. Um, what? What do you mean points are based off of carbs, fat, fiber, and protein? Where are the calories?!? Why aren't they important? I have to admit that I was also a bit turned off by the fact that most of my fallback foods have higher point values now. Ugh. I was ready to call it quits by 6PM. But then I realized, crap, I just bought myself three months worth of this, I might as well ride it out. I also made a commitment to a friend who bought herself three months of the program as well to work along side with her.

Damn... commitment is hard... but worth it :)

And now for my disappearing act!

2011-01-09T17:08:00.005-05:00

Nah, I didn't give up on blogging that easily. I was in New Orleans for a conference! New Orleans is a very special place for me, mainly because it's where Andy asked me to marry him last year. He joined me on this trip, and we made the most of it, even though I had a full day of work that needed to be done before I could enjoy myself. We did a ton of walking, especially around the French Quarter:

I love New Orleans because it is such a walkable city. It's pretty flat, and the sidewalks are wide, and there is minimal public transportation. You *have* to walk. According to Google Maps, it was a 1.4 mile walk one way from our hotel to the French Quarter. That's almost three miles roundtrip! We also walked to dinners and along the Mississippi. It was a great walking trip. However, if you've been to New Orleans, you know there is one place that you *have* to go. It's the place that serves these wonderful things:

Mmm, beignets. Yes, they are deep fried dough covered in powdered sugar, but they are quintessential French Market cuisine. And yes, while I've been indulging myself a bit too often, you can't go on a trip to New Orleans and not have these. That being said, I'll be back on track tomorrow morning: food, exercise, and accountability.

My life in stickies

2011-01-04T08:26:00.003-05:00

I'm a huge Post-It note (in my vernacular, "stickies") fan. I make a to-do list every day on a sticky note, tuck it inside my planner, and try to follow it religiously. However, yesterday, I read this article about how you should only have six "to-dos" on your sticky note in order to not feel overwhelmed and actually accomplish things throughout your day. So, I thought I'd try it out:

Did you catch #6? Yes, that's right. In the middle of my very busy day, I thought that exercise was important enough to be on my narrow list of things to do. And I'm proud of myself. I came home from the office a bit exhausted, and almost got sucked into watching a "Tabitha's Salon Takeover" marathon on Bravo (anything on that channel is extremely addictive to me). But I finally put my workout clothes on and did 30 minutes of the Biggest Loser's Boot Camp. I owned this since October, but haven't tried it once. Lots of squats and lunges and weights along with some cardio.... kinda reminds me of Jillian's 30 Day Shred, but taken down a notch. I liked it. It was just what I needed.

Did you include exercise on your sticky (whether real or mental) today?

Putting things into perspective

2011-01-01T22:36:00.003-05:00

I'd like to blame my future mother-in-law. Over the summer, she insisted on taking a picture of Andy and myself, so she could post it on Facebook for all her friends to see. Um, no. Not one picture looked right, so although much to her disappointment, she erased them. I'd also like to blame my future sister-in-law. She won a camera at her company's Christmas party, and while she's been photo attacking everyone, the photos she posted on her Picasa made me pause and say, Oh my.

Have I really gotten that big?

I've realized over the past few months that I really need to put things in perspective. After all, I gained an easy 20 pounds from October 2009 until January 2010 (stop exercise and add Christmas cookies... yeah, it's that easy). Mix in a research sabbatical that meant that I could sit around and wear nothing but sweatpants and pajamas all day, stir in some back to school shopping (in a larger size), and poof... not surprisingly, I'm almost 40 pounds heavier than I was 15 months ago.

If that isn't scary enough, I looked at it a bit differently while I was updating this blog. I'm about 30 pound lighter than my heaviest weight. When did the scales tip in that direction? Sure, when I was just 20 pounds heavier than my lowest weight, that was an "easy" number to return to. But now... I'm in that "oh shit" zone. How did I get back here? When did the scales tip over 200 and I was okay with that? Why was I able to cancel my gym membership, completely unfazed?

I know what everyone is thinking: oh no, here comes *another* new year's resolution. But honestly, I think I've outgrown that. I'm going to turn 31 in a few months, I'm getting married a few months after that, and the next step is to start a family. There is no way that is going to happen if I'm not healthy. Trust me, it isn't all about looking great in pictures (but damn how they show us what we've been denying), it's about getting back to a healthy weight and being happy.

Welcome back to my journey.

I've Moved

2009-05-29T19:58:00.000-04:00

New blog, new attitude... come visit me over at http://hardcorekiki.wordpress.com/

Let's Start at the Very Beginning

2009-05-12T14:03:00.003-04:00

I decided that this summer is the time for me to get back on track with my weight loss and fitness. Last summer, I had a lot of personal stress on myself, and luckily, this summer, it's all gone. Instead, this is going to be the summer of me. My job is to be my most fabulous self. That's what everyone's goal should be, since everything else just falls into place from there.

Anyway, like one of my favorite songs from the Sound of Music, I decided to start from the very beginning, because it's a very good place to start! I figured I would get myself out on the rail trail and run a mile. After I ran the mile, I decided to tack another half mile onto it, and I have to admit that at the end of the 1.5 miles, I was tired. It's been a while since I've run that far. But I did it... 1.5 miles! I rock! I came home and did some weight work, and I feel pretty darn good.

What have YOU done today to make you feel proud?

Stepping outside of my box

2009-05-11T09:42:00.003-04:00

After not doing much of anything over the past week (I hit a spinning class on Monday and then took the rest of the week off because of my work load), I decided to tag along with a group of friends who were going rock climbing on Sunday morning. I've never been rock climbing, and maybe I should have been grading... but instead, I decided to go for my very first rock climb. My first time up, I think I got about three feet off the ground before I was begging Dave(our belayer) to let me back down. After some time, and with a little encouragement, I decided to try it again. I got about half way up the rock, which was a lot further than I thought I would every get, and I got stuck in this really difficult part that everyone got stuck at. My hands are a lot more raw than I ever expected them to be, and I have a really nice bruise on my knee (which is huge... in the pictures, it just looks like some scratches. No way... it's about the size of a half dollar and nice and red). But I'm hooked. I think I'm buying a pair of climbing shoes this week in prep for our climb on Friday morning... it is summer for us in the academic world... try not to be jealous :)

Check out how red my hands are in this picture. This is pain and love:

Where Have I Been?

2009-05-04T08:42:00.002-04:00

Hi guys. Sorry that I haven't been updating the blog lately. My life has been crazy busy lately. First off, work is insane. Research wise, I have a ton of balls up in the air, and I'm trying not to drop any of them. I've done that before, and wasted a good year of research work. My classes are almost over, so while the grading has kind of calmed down at this point in the week, I'll be spending all weekend grading final exams. Secondly, I've been really busy personally. Lots of six mile walks with friends outdoors, giving myself some well deserved Kiki time now that spring has sprung. I'd like to get back to blogging regularly, but I don't know when. You'll just have to keep checking for updates.

My biggest issue right now is stress eating. Between my research and my grading, I've been nibbling on candy here and there. Luckily for me, I'm still losing, not gaining, but obviously, I'm not losing as fast as I probably could if I was not eating candy throughout the day. Also, at this time of the year, I have no motivation to cook, so I've been eating lots of Subway (seriously, Jared, how did you do this for extended periods of time?), sandwiches and frozen meals (yes, I know, sodium, but it's going to have to do for now).

So, really, I am here, putting in the time at the gym, but at the same time... I'm so busy that I can't really update my blog regularly. Thanks for wondering where I've been, all the same :)

Confessions Part II

2009-04-27T20:40:00.000-04:00

I went to spinning class today (it rocked) and while I was sweating it out, I noticed what a nice waist I'm whittling. Woo!!!

Confession

2009-04-27T13:43:00.001-04:00

I hate anything Miley Cyrus or Hannah Montana related. But I *love* when "See You Again" by Miley Cyrus pops up on my Ipod. I'm such a nerd.

Weekly Weigh In: Fitting Things In

2009-04-24T08:55:00.002-04:00

This week has been all about my work. And I've gotten a lot done. But as the end of the semester nears, I'm starting to find myself in a familiar place: guilt ridden at going to the gym or for spending time outside rather than working. This week, I've gone for runs, done the elliptical and enjoyed some long (5 mile) walks outside, while still accomplishing all I need to get done at work. And it feels great to take some time for myself and to see the scale moving, but also, to see my body changing.

Change of Plans

2009-04-20T21:25:00.002-04:00

This weekend ended up a little differently than I had planned. Originally, I thought that I would squeeze in another run on Friday and Saturday, but that didn't happen. On Friday, I went for a six mile hike with some friends on the rail trail in town. It was a gorgeous afternoon, and being Friday, it was nice to be able to vent to each other about our lives. Saturday found me at the local arboretum for a 75 minute hike. It was a lot warmer than I expected, but wandering through the arboretum and then down to the rail trail made me a happy camper. My blisters told me to take Sunday off, but I was back to running... in the rain, no less!... this evening. I was challenged by a Facebook friend (who just happens to be my best friend from Pre-K, that's going way back) to run a 5K with her over Memorial Day weekend. I'm in it, maybe not to win it, but to complete it would be a win in itself!

Weekly Weigh In: I'm Still a Rock Star

2009-04-17T10:10:00.002-04:00

One of my favorite songs of the past year or so is Pink's "So What?" It reminds me that stuff happens, but at the same time, we continue to be the awesome person that is way down deep inside all of us. My first So What? of the week is that I gained 0.4 pounds this week. Where did it come from? Well, I went home to see my family for the first time since Christmas break. I ate everything that my family put in front of me, within reason, of course. A few people at Easter dinner noticed that I didn't take a ton of food the first time around the buffet spread and that I didn't go back for seconds. At dessert time, my cousin and I split some of our desserts. My second So What? is that lent was FINALLY over and I did indulge in some Cadbury mini eggs and Dove truffle eggs. My tummy is still recovering from the reintroduction of that kind of dairy in my diet, but at the same time, I was so hungry for it. So, that half pound? So what? It'll be gone next week, and I have some great memories with my family.

The last So What? I want to share with you is something that I read in Us Weekly (I know, it's my thing, leave it alone). It was about celebrities with cellulite and how they're putting it out there and saying So What that I have cellulite? I love it! Kim Kardashian, Sophia Bush, Kate Winslet, even Reese Witherspoon! How awesome is that? As someone who has cellulite as well, I'm glad that celebs are coming forward and saying that pretty much everyone has cellulite. It's true. Get over it.

I went for a run yesterday afternoon (2 miles) and am going for another one today and tomorrow. Gotta enjoy the sun while it's here! Hope you have a great weekend!

Finding My Motivation

2009-04-14T10:19:00.002-04:00

I was away for a long weekend... seriously, my weekend started on Wednesday night and I didn't get back in town until yesterday afternoon. During that time I did not work out once, which makes my gain really no big surprise. However, it's back in the saddle today. I did the 30 Day Shred to get back in the swing of things since I didn't have the motivation to get out of bed and get to the gym. However, I'll be there tomorrow morning unless it's really nice and I can go for a run :)

Fitness Weekend

2009-04-06T09:14:00.002-04:00

After the past few weeks of being a bit lazy on the fitness side of things, I decided to kick it into high gear. Friday, I did a good 45 minutes on the elliptical. Saturday, again, another 30 minutes on the elliptical and Level 3 of the 30 Day Shred (seriously, not as ass kicking as Level 2... which made it that much better!). Sunday was a mile run with a three mile hike. It's funny when you think about fitness, we do it because we want to look better, and therefore, feel better about ourselves. Honestly, I've been working out consistently for about a week now, and even though I might not *look* any different, I feel much more confident about my body and what I'm capable of doing. I think those of us who have been slacking, er, too busy, to work out need a reminder like that every once in a while :)

Weekly Weigh In: Progress!

2009-04-03T09:53:00.002-04:00

I lost .6 pounds this week. To me, that's a pretty big deal considering all the fluctuations I've been dealing with. Anyway, I think I'm back on track eating and fitness wise. I went for my run on Wednesday night, did another run with a friend last night, and hit the gym for some elliptical goodness this morning. I also did Jillian's 30 Day Shred yesterday and will do it again tonight. I think part of what I'm missing has to do with my lack of weight training. I'm hoping that Jillian will get me through this busy time of the semester until I can get back on track at the gym. Hope y'all have a great weekend!

Spring has Sprung!

2009-04-02T08:39:00.002-04:00

Well, maybe at least for two days. Yesterday was supposed to be rainy all day, but around 3PM, the sun came out and the weather turned nice. Would you blame me for letting my late class out a bit early in order to get in my first outdoor run of 2009? It was great. I drove over to the stadium and ran a two mile loop around the various campuses of my university. Running outside is a lot harder than what I remember it to be :) But it felt WONDERFUL. I'll be doing it again today before the rain returns on Friday!

Graduation Time

2009-03-31T16:42:00.002-04:00

Okay, March was a complete bust. With all the work and travelling that I did, there was no way that I could keep up with my workout schedule. Lucky for me, April is a completely different month. I only plan on being out of town for a weekend to visit some family, but other than that, my eye is on the prize: the end of the semester. It's just about seven weeks away, so I've linked another prize to that special shiny day of May 17th: I'd like to set up another 10 pound goal. The scale is FINALLY moving in the right direction for me, and I want to keep up that momentum and move past the weight I was at for graduation last year. Granted, I'm already 10 pounds slimmer than what I was at graduation 2008. Wouldn't it be GREAT if I was 20 pounds slimmer at graduation 2009? I think it would be :)

I'm also keeping my fingers crossed for some nice weather later this week. I want to go for my first outdoor run in a looooooooong while. I'm looking at Thursday at this point. Until then, it's the elliptical at the rec for me.

Weekly Weigh In: What a Bust

2009-03-29T22:24:00.002-04:00

So, last week was a complete bust for me, health-wise, exercise-wise, and work-wise. I spent much of the week trying to get over my jet-lag from my Vancouver trip. At work, I was overwhelmed by our advising schedule, which basically takes on a life of its own mid semester, every semester, but I guess it caught me off guard. The end of the week was me looking forward to a number of things: my birthday and visit from a guy I've been seeing for the past month. I got both of those things, and had a wonderful weekend, but I also realized that the past week was just lost. The time just slipped through my fingers.

Therefore, I'm heading to bed, preparing myself for a 7AM appointment with the elliptical at the rec. This next week won't be written up as a bust, because I plan on accomplishing a ton and, in the process, losing a ton!

Post-Travel Musings

2009-03-24T12:04:00.003-04:00

Why is eating well while travelling so hard? I stock my fridge with healthy food while I'm at home, and when that isn't accessible to me, it's like I don't know what to do. I'm hoping that today is the day that I get back on track with eating.

Jet lag has seriously ruined my life over the past two days. I was exhausted when I got back into town on Sunday night. Yesterday, I felt like I was the living dead (even to the point where I almost fell asleep during the movie I showed during my late class, how classy would that be?) and today I slept until 8:45. Weekend trips to the west coast just don't agree with me.

Which brings me to my final point: the gym. My friends, I have not been to the gym since last Tuesday. I did walk a lot while in Vancouver, but since I've returned, I just can't get up. Then I have these panic moments, like I'm forgetting something. Oh, yeah, I didn't go to the gym. I didn't sweat it out this morning. Tomorrow, I will be back at the gym. I will sweat it out. And something tells me that tomorrow will be a much better day.

Weekly Weigh In: Spring Break Edition

2009-03-18T16:02:00.002-04:00

Hey crew! This week is spring break at my university, and for the past two days, I've actually been enjoying the spring weather. How gorgeous! What else is gorgeous? I lost 1.4 pounds since my last weigh in, which...drumroll please... brings me back under 180 pounds AND back to my 50 pound goal! Woo! I'm so happy that I finally got back there. This is also my 10th weigh in of the year, and you might notice that I didn't reach my 10 in 10 goal. However, I did lose 5.2 pounds, which is still pretty average (0.5-1 pound a week). Right now, I'm pretty happy with myself.

I'm about to head out of town for the weekend, off to Vancouver for a work conference. I plan on doing lots of walking like I did last year in San Francisco. Unfortunately, it's going to be cold and rainy. Still, a bit of rain never hurt anyone. Hope y'all have a great weekend!

New Pic!!

2009-03-15T11:41:00.001-04:00

Did you see my new "current" pic. I felt that December was a long way off, and I needed to put something a little more current up there. I had to wear my FSU shirt... my Noles are in the ACC championship game today. Go Noles! Beat Duke! We've done it before... let's do it again :)

Week Two Bootcamp Check In

2009-03-15T11:38:00.002-04:00

I almost forgot to post this! Week Two of our Bootcamp Challenge proved to be challenging for ME because I spent the first half of the week NOT working out. I got overwhelmed at work again, and so, instead of the Bootcamp Challenge, I supplemented my workouts with two 30 Day Shred sessions (Level 1 of course). I figure that in these videos, I work my arms, legs and midsection, so that took care of my five minute BC workouts. I did get four days of cardio in, which made me happy in the end.

How about YOU? How's your challenge going? We're half way there!

Weekly Weigh In: Woke Up This Morning

2009-03-13T11:33:00.002-04:00

Good news! I lost 1.8 pounds this week! That is my largest loss since the beginning of the year! Woo!

I had a kind of Sopranos morning. If you're not a Sopranos fan, sorry for this post, but it's so true. I kind of moped around my apartment for a while, not really feeling motivated to hit the gym. I was tired because I went to bed after midnight last night after a long, but fun, phone conversation. My gym buddy wasn't meeting me at the gym. I could have had a Tony Soprano morning, and sit around my house in my bathrobe (no wife beater tyvm) drinking coffee. But one of my friends who I was chatting with via email pushed me to go to the gym. So, I went. I figured that since the rec is going to be closed over the weekend, I might as well hit it up now.

Got to the rec and picked out a treadmill. I really wasn't feeling the whole running thing today, but still, it was Friday, and so that's what my schedule told me to do. While I was warming up on the treadmill, I noticed a few objects in the pond. They were ducks! It has to be spring if the ducks are out on the pond, fighting over the females! Does this mean that we'll be able to observe some ducklings out in the rec pond in a few months? I'm so excited about this.

So, I start running. I've been doing a lot of thinking on the treadmill lately, and I've come to realize that I'm still scared of it. I ran for ten minutes at 5MPH and a 1% incline before I took a three minute walking break. My right shin/calf was killing me, and I couldn't figure out what it was. So, I took off the incline and decide to run like that. I ran for 15 more minutes, first at 5MPH, then at 5.2, and the last five minutes at 5.5. The last five minutes felt great. I think I need to start stepping up my speed. I actually think I'm running too slow, and that's what tiring me out. Sheesh. Why didn't I realize this before?

That's Not Me

2009-03-11T08:42:00.002-04:00

KK's post about self-image has really hit home with me for a number of reasons. I've been having a lot of "fat" days lately. Ladies, you know what I'm talking about. (Gentlemen who read my blog... do you get these too?) You feel humungous, like everyone is looking at you because you're so big and sloppy. I think I've been feeling this way because my weight loss has kind of grinded to a stop. But, last year when I got to this point in my weight, I was talking about how slim I was, how I felt great, blah blah blah.

Well, this morning, I had a bit of an epiphany at the gym. I finished my morning run and was returning my towel to the service desk, which is when they give your ID back to you. I told the guy at the desk my name, and he went through the IDs and was looking at my ID for a moment before I finally said, "Yes, that is me." That picture was taken in August 2006, and (obviously) I had a lot of weight in my face, considering I was just about 50 pounds heavier (as of this morning, I'm about four pounds away from my 50 pound mark). I use my ID every day, to get in the rec center, to get a towel, to access the classroom technology when I teach. I try to avoid looking at my ID, because I know which face is smiling back at me. It's my fat face. It's not my current face. And, yes, I'm too cheap to shell out the $20 to get a new ID right now... that's not going to happen until another 50 pounds are gone :)

Real Quick!

2009-03-10T10:47:00.002-04:00

Because that's all the time I have while I'm finishing up this other conference paper! I didn't work out at all over the weekend. Saturday, I had other plans (hee hee!) and Sunday and Monday were swamped with work. I finally got off my butt and did the 30 Day Shred today, but only after I figured out some data discrepancy and ran some new tests. When I get home tonight, I'll be catching up with my Boot Camp videos. Craziness!!! That's all I have to say :)

March Boot Camp Check in

2009-03-07T10:19:00.003-05:00

How are you doing with your five cardio sessions and seven workouts? Is it too little? Too much? Did you find any of the sparkpeople videos challenging? Check in in the comments below!

As for me, I find the strength training to be a little easy and not enough. Six minutes of lifting, for me, is not enough. Granted, I'll admit that I haven't been doing that much lifting over the past month, so something is better than nothing. I also skipped the Thursday and Friday videos because I was too busy and made up for it by doing the 30 Day Shred on Friday. I'm going for a run today, and when I get back, it's all about the core video, which I found the most challenging.

Weekly Weigh In: I am a runner

2009-03-07T10:17:00.003-05:00

The best response I got to some of my previous posts are the ones that just say You ARE A Runner (thanks Cammy and Jason). But, one of my non-blog friends read that post and sent me an article about what makes you a runner. You can read the whole article here on Runner's World, but I picked out the reasons that I felt made me a runner.

I AM A RUNNER because my shoes are training equipment, not a fashion statement. The best shoe for me is the one that makes me a better runner. I choose the shoe that goes with my running mechanics, not my running outfit. (Trust me, the Brooks Dyad? It almost looks like an orthopedic sneaker. But it works!)

I AM A RUNNER because I know what effort feels like, and I embrace it. I know when I'm pushing the limits of my comfort and why I'm doing it. I know that heavy breathing and an accelerated heart rate--things I once avoided--are necessary if I want to be a better runner. (One of my biggest fears as a runner is being a loud breather. Who wants to be that person? Well, guess what? If that's what makes me a better runner, then so be it.)

I AM A RUNNER because I value and respect my body. It will whisper to me when I've done too much. And if I choose to listen to that whisper, my body won't have to scream in pain later on. (And if that means that I can't push it to be a faster runner just yet, well then, so be it.)

I AM A RUNNER because I run. Not because I run fast. Not because I run far. (Trust me, I can run faster and farther than what I used to run at this time last year. That definitely doesn't mean I'm the fastest one out there!)

I AM A RUNNER because I say I am. And no one can tell me I'm not.

Excuse me, it's time for my Saturday run :)

Crazy Links

2009-03-04T11:07:00.002-05:00

My post on Monday (Fly on the Wall) hit home with a lot of you, whether you've been obese or not. This is taking it to the extreme: A trainer in Australia is gaining weight so he can "empathize" with his clients. Um, not cool.

I know, I stopped watching Biggest Loser. But I have been reading updates other places online, and I was amazed to hear of kicked off contestant Dane running a marathon since he's been off the ranch. Then I read this. Oy. You either DID run a marathon or didn't. It'd be like me saying I ran a 5K because I went out and ran three miles one day. WTH? I'm a girl who likes a side of honesty with her cup of fitness.

Running Mad Libs

2009-03-04T09:33:00.002-05:00

This morning, I hit up the gym for my usual Monday, Wednesday, Friday run. Got my towel, put my stuff in the little cubby I use, and walked up to my treadmill (isn't it funny that my treadmill has become "mine"?). As I started to run, I got tired. Granted, I'm still getting over this bug that has had a hold on me for the past week, so even though I had planned on running for 25 minutes, around 13 minutes, I was beat. Then, I got to thinking, I AM A RUNNER. But what kind of runner am I? Am I a competitive runner? I've never been much of an athlete, especially a competitive one. I was the kid who used to cringe at the mention of field day, hoping that it consisted of games of kick ball not 100 yard dashes. I would love to run a 5K, and I thought that goal was within my reach, but the more and more I run, I feel like I'm not moving along... I'm not getting much faster, I'm not running for longer periods... I'm just running. So does that make me a runner who just runs for exercise? And if that's what I am, so what? What's wrong with running for my cardio fitness? Isn't it the same as spinning? I'm "cycling" with no real place to go, other than to burn calories, be healthy, and look hot? Is that what I'm doing with running? There are lots of people who fall into this "non-competitive" category. So, by the end of my run (which ended up being a 13 minute run, 90 second walk, 5 minute run, 2 minute walk, 3 minute run, cool down), I started thinking, "I AM A ____________ RUNNER". I just need to figure out the blank.

Boot camp peeps! It's Day 4, and you should have done the core workout today. Yesterday's upper body workout was, again, too short, but I did feel challenged by today's core workout. Holy cow! Planks ON the balance ball? Who created that?

A Fly on the Wall

2009-03-02T09:16:00.002-05:00

It's kind of interesting to "hear" what people think and say about obesity when they don't realize your history. For instance, I've made some new friends since I've dropped these 50 pounds. In the back of my head, I always wonder, would they like me if they knew me when I was 50 pounds heavier? According to the BMI index, I'm still obese. Granted, I've moved from "morbidly obese" to "severly obese" and now I'm just plain old "obese". I can't wait to be just plain old "overweight"... granted, that's 30 pounds away.

Back to my original observation about people and their thoughts on obesity. A few months ago, all these "notes" on Facebook started going around. (Since when did it become kosher to start "forwards" on Facebook? Oy!) A girl I knew since high school who has always been thin "confessed" that one of her biggest fears is getting fat. Are you kidding me? I mean, no one wants to get fat. But, when we talk about biggest fears, for me, it includes plane crashes, losing loved ones, not making enough money to pay my bills, etc. Then again, I'm very conscious of treading that line where health is a part of my life and how it can easily become an obsession. A few weeks later, I read on someone else's facebook page (another thin... and I mean THIN... girl) about how she takes that hydroxicut daily to be able to eat what she wants. Um, okay.

Another blog I follow had a discussion earlier this week about our state proposing a law like the one in NY where calories have to be posted on the ordering board in fast food restaurants. I'll gladly admit that the discussion spun out of control and has moved far far away from the original topic, but what stood out was one of the commenters saying how he won't look at obese people because they lack beauty. OMG. When I was morbidly obese, I knew there were people who thought I was disgusting. *I* thought I was disgusting, even though I dressed up, took care of myself, and put on a good face every day. I'm sure there were some people who found me repulsive. It's just different when you hear someone say that out loud.

I have a few students who are morbidly obese and I feel bad for them. I'm sad when I see them stuff themselves into those fun desk/chairs. I'm really sad because they are smart kids (one of them has the highest average in a certain class) and I know how hard it is to go through life when people meet you and the first thing they notice about you is your weight. I also know how hard it is to lose weight, and how easy it is to fall back into bad habits and to give up when you hit a plateau. I wish it was as easy as "calories in, calories out", but we all know that it's a bit more than that, emotionally. We have to change our relationship with food.

Sorry to be such a downer, but this has been brewing for a while. I finally hit the gym today... did a 20 minute run for my first day back post-cold and I also did the boot camp lower body challenge video. OMG... one footed squats? Those lunges with the balance ball? This one was a challenge!!! BTW, I got a balance ball at Walmart for $8! Just wanted to share with y'all. How's it going with you?

Have a good Monday!

Boot Camp Challenge Day 1

2009-03-01T12:36:00.003-05:00

Today, we tackled the 10 minute workout with Coach Nicole. My main complaint is that it isn't 10 minutes long. It's more like 7 minutes long with a two minute cool down. That really disappointed me because by minute seven I was working up a good sweat, and she cut it short. Ugh! So, I did a Walk Away the Pounds video to keep my momentum going for at least a half hour.

My suggestion on the Spark People non-music issue? Pull up pandora.com, set the "station" to a workout song you like (for me, it's Britney's Womanizer) and they'll play a whole bunch of songs that are similar to that song. On the Womanizer station, I hear a lot of Kanye, Christina, Lady Gaga, Pussycat Dolls, etc. Helps me move rather than hearing the tapping of Coach Nicole's feet.

So, I bought a balance ball at TJ Maxx and it was a complete bust. The damn thing wouldn't inflate. I'm returning it later today and hitting up Walmart instead. Saving $10 vs. having an inflatable ball? Hmm, no contest there.

How are YOU doing with the first Boot Camp workout? Ready for some cardio tomorrow?

Weekly Weigh In: Treading Water

2009-02-28T12:15:00.004-05:00

So, at the beginning of the year, I said I was going to take this 10 pounds in 10 weeks approach. How have I been doing? Well, I've lost a total of 1.4 pounds in seven weeks. Actually, this is what my weight has looked like over the past seven weeks:

Basically, going to New York really tripped me up. I have to learn how to find a balance between "go! enjoy yourself!" and "ugh, well, I've already been off the wagon all weekend... a few more days of eating whatever won't hurt me". I've definitely gotten back on the wagon this week, but at the same time, I haven't worked out for the past two days. Thursday, I had my ankle issues. Yesterday, my cold finally reared its ugly head (it's been sitting in my sinuses for a while... that little tickle that lets you know that something is coming). Not to mention that for the past few days, I've been putting in 8+ hours at the office and coming home to do even more work. I'm very consciencious about not falling into the trap I fell into in grad school when I was too busy to work out and ballooned up into the 230 range... but at the same time, the elliptical and running a 5K isn't going to get me tenure. This is what I deal with every time I get stressed.

I have three weeks left out of the original 10. There is no way that I'm going to lose 8+ pounds in that time, but as long as that chart keeps its downward movement, I'll be happy.

BOOT CAMP STARTS TOMORROW... are you ready???? I am psyched!

Moving On Up

2009-02-26T08:42:00.002-05:00

Today is/was a running day, but I've decided to take it easy instead. I've noticed this pain in my ankle (or is it my upper foot... it's basically the front part of my ankle, where my leg and foot meet). Anyway, I've had it for the past few days, and it's still not feeling any better today, so I'm not going to run, but instead will do a spin class later this afternoon for a little cardio goodness.

I'm so excited about my running though! Ever since I started my new relationship with the treadmill, my running has gotten a lot better. I'm running a 12-12:30 minute mile when I'm running, which for me, is a huge improvement from my previous run-ins with a treadmill. Anyway, I think I'm ready to move onto running long runs, not just the C25K intervals. Looking at the C25K program, it's built around the assumption that you're running a 10 minute mile. Uh, no, not me. So, for now, I'm going to concentrate on working on my running time. I'm bumping it up to a 25 minute run for the next few runs, then 27 minutes, 29 minutes. When I get comfortable with a half hour of running, then I'll start working on my distance. But I'm kind of hoping that it just comes with it.

Yay to those of you who signed up for my boot camp challenge! I'm so excited to be starting it soon. Hope you are too! And for those of you who are still in need of a balance ball... TJ Maxx is the place to go!

MARCH BOOTCAMP CHALLENGE

2009-02-24T11:03:00.005-05:00

Okay peeps, here's the info on the boot camp challenge. We're going to start on March 1 (Sunday) and run through March 28 (Saturday). It's a four week challenge, and yes, there is an activity to do every day. However, don't sweat it if you can't completely commit to working out every day. I'll tell you right now that there are two days that I won't be able to work out, because I'll be flying to and then flying back from Vancouver. But I plan on working out the other 26 days of the challenge. In fact, Sparkpeople says the following about skipping one of these workouts: "If you miss a day, you can move on to the next day or do two videos in one day. Think of the New YOU workout plan as a guideline, so if you mess up here and there, don't worry—just get back to it!"

So, how does it work? SparkPeople have posted a short video (5-10 minutes) for us to do each day. (You can find the videos here. Page down and click on the corresponding day.) To do the videos, all you need are a set of hand weights (I suggest 5-8 lbs) and a stability ball (I'm going to buy mine at TJ Maxx this weekend!)

Along with the videos, we will all be doing 30 minutes of cardio, 5 days a week. So, what will your week look like?

Sunday: Kickboxing video
Monday: 30 minutes of cardio and lower body sculpt video
Tuesdays: 30 minutes of cardio and upper body sculpt video
Wednesday: 30 minutes of cardio and core strength video
Thursday: 30 minutes of cardio and lower body workout video
Friday: 30 minutes of cardio and upper body sculpt video
Saturday: Core Workout Video

I'll post a check in every Saturday to see how we're all doing, if we find the videos challenging, etc.

I'm ready to commit! How about you? If you are willing to start this boot camp challenge with me, hit me up in the comments! My goal is to feel fit and fine at 29 (which will happen on March 27)... how about you?

My Vision Board

2009-02-22T13:14:00.003-05:00

Ever since MizFit has been talking about her vision board, I've been contemplating putting one together. I started saving clippings of things that I find motivating, whether it's pictures (the running chick, the gorgeous brunette in the stunning pink dress), quotes (my favorite Sex and the City quote and another one from Eat Pray Love, a book that has made a huge impact on my life), as well as random things (I heart hydrangeas and orchids). I finally took some ME time to put it together yesterday, and I'm so happy with it. Another thing that I've adopted from The Secret is the Law of Attraction: the idea that putting out positive energy into the world will help you to achieve what you want. It's so easy to get lost in the negativity that we're all guilty of. One thing that I did when I went through my divorce was to get rid of a lot of negativity, especially since the X was a very negative person. I can't believe how many people have commented on what a different person I am since I started doing that. However, I think I've gotten a bit lazy on that front. 18 months ago, it was all good, but I've found more negativity creeping into my life. Time to start using that scalpel to cut all that bad stuff out!

What do you do/ what tools do you use to keep yourself motivated?

Another Brick in the Wall, Part III

2009-02-20T11:53:00.002-05:00

We don't need no education,
We don't need no thought control,
Hey! Teacher! Leave them kids alone!

This song was going through my head this morning as I was in cardio hell. I decided to try out a "cardio challenge" class at the rec. I had been to another class with the same instructor, so I was ready for a workout and a challenging one. Class started at 7:30, and by 7:45, I was finished. The instructor had us working on Bosu trainers, which was fine, except she had the most intricate footwork for it. Translated: I was trying to figure out where my feet should have been going more often than doing the actual exercise the rest of the class was doing. She had us running laps around the room, and I think the breaking point was when we had to SKIP laps around the room. I couldn't imagine staying until 8:30, so at 8, when the group went for more laps, I picked up my Bosu, put it back on the rack and walked out. I heard later that two other people took my lead and left soon after. Let the revolution against ridiculous group classes begin! I ended up spending another 20 minutes on the elliptical, where I knew I was burning calories instead of scratching my head, trying to figure out where my feet should be.

I'm not doing a weigh in this week. Considering I was "off the wagon" until Wednesday morning, there is no reason for me to publicly admit my indulgences over the long weekend (oh, wait... I just did). Let's just say that I'm much more focused on next Friday and making it there than I am about my current status.

Have a great weekend!

Snow Daze

2009-02-19T09:54:00.003-05:00

When I finally got my butt out of bed this morning at 7:45 and dragged it to the gym, it was kinda sorta flurrying. By the time I got to the gym and was at the end of my first 10 minute interval (that's Week 6 Day 2 of C25K if you're keeping track) we had a huge snow squall. I love snow, don't get me wrong, but running on the treadmill which is placed in front of a ceiling to floor length mirror while snow was coming in crazily with the wind? It was almost dizzying. Then, after about a minute or two of this squall, things returned to normal, and I completed the rest of my run.

I COMPLETED THE REST OF MY RUN! I'm so glad that I decided to switch over to the treadmill for these training runs. Today was the first day that I did W6D2, which is a 10 minute run followed by a 3 minute walk and then another 10 minute run. I admit that I was a little tired towards the end of interval 2, but still... I rocked those 10 minute runs. I think I might do that day maybe one or two more times and then start moving onto the longer runs, building my distance. Eep! I'm starting to feel like a runner again :)

Wow! I'm so excited about the response to my Boot Camp Challenge, which, in my head, I keep referring to "Fit and Fine for 29!" I'll put more details up here soon, but I'd like to start on March 1st since it's a four week commitment and the big 2-9 is on March 27th. Yay!

Superstar!

2009-02-18T09:26:00.002-05:00

Does anyone remember that old SNL skit, Mary Katherine Gallagher? It was huge while I was in college, and my friends and I used to love that skit a ton. Maybe it was because I was a former catholic school girl myself, but sometimes, I just think to myself "I'm a SUPERSTAR!" just as a little pick me up. Sometimes we all need things like that :)

I went back to the gym yesterday and today. Yesterday, I did another C25K run on the treadmill. You know, I think I might be in love. With the treadmill of course! I concentrated on my speed yesterday (Hello, 5.2 mph! I don't think we've ever met before!) as well as my stride. I loved it. Today, I tried out a new Super Sculpt class. It was great. A bit of a cardio warmup, then all sorts of squats, lunges, and weights. I really enjoyed it. Another goal of mine today is to get back on the healthy eating bandwagon. Going to the grocery last night should help with that... kind of hard to eat healthy if there's nothing in your fridge!

So, it's my birthday next month... and while it isn't a milestone birthday (next year will be though), I'm thinking of having a blogging even for it. Anyone interested in doing the sparkpeople bootcamp with me throughout the month of March? I want to be fit and fabulous for the last year of my 20s. Let me know if you're interested, and if so, I'll give more details in a future post.

Behave? Me?

2009-02-17T09:47:00.003-05:00

I had a fabulous weekend in New York. Ate ate ate, drank drank drank. But I'm not going to complain about the weight I gained for two reasons. First, I'm at the weight that I usually am at the end of one of my weekend splurges, so no difference there. Second, I live in West Virginia for goodness's sakes. Where else am I going to get my fill of Irish pubs, Cuban and Southern Italian cuisine? (And, any WV people... WV "Italian" food is so not Italian.) I had a blast. I had an anti-Valentine's Day date with one of my best guy friends. We went to see August: Osage County, which was a fabulous play. Okay, it was a bit depressing, but in no way did I feel like I was sitting in that theatre for three and a half hours. Then we went to eat at Il Gattopardo near the Museum of Modern Art. It's in the basement of a townhouse, which sounds kind of odd, but we were seated in the heated patio/greenhouse part of it. It had great ambiance, so if you are in town with your SO, I definitely recommend this place. I flew back to town yesterday, and today it's back to the usual routine. I already had a date with a treadmill, and I'll be leaving for the office shortly. It's kind of fun to look back on my whirlwind 48 hours in the busiest city in the US and smile to myself as I go back to the same old same old of every day life.

Weekly Weigh In: Happy Hour Edition

2009-02-13T18:55:00.002-05:00

I'm maintaining... and at a moment like this, I have to wonder, what would Jimmy Buffett do?

I'm off to NYC for the weekend... I'll try to behave, but I really can't promise anything :)

Me Against The Treadmill

2009-02-11T09:44:00.002-05:00

Don't ask me why, but I'm just really not feeling the Biggest Loser this season. I know! Me! Of all people! Maybe I'm just bored that they're all lovey dovey contestants, even when they try not to be (Helen, I'm talking to you and your "game playing" speech). Maybe I think the challenges are dumb (balance yourself on this yoga block! keep your arms raised above your head for four hours!). Maybe I'm just busy with work and other things going on that I'm not into it. So the weekly Kiki Biggest Loser recaps are going on hiatus until something GOOD happens on that show. If not, I'll just be bored for the rest of the season.

Today was a running morning. I was supposed to get my butt out of bed and meet E at 6:45 to do our run and then go to a strength class. I don't know what's been up with me (stress? the weather? my allergies?) but when my alarm went off at 6AM, I shut it off. I then texted E at 6:30 to say that there was no way I was going to make our 6:45 meeting time. I ended up sleeping until 7:20 and then going to the gym. I've been experiencing motivational issues while running on the indoor track. I feel slow, I hate going around the turns, and it's just an overall bad experience. I had decided earlier to try the treadmill again, but KK's post yesterday made me definitely want to try it out.

I walked up to my chosen treadmill like a woman approaching an unbroken horse. I wanted to have the upperhand, but really, I knew that the treadmill was in control of the situation. I started off with my five minute warm up, then very cautiously nudged up the speed. My Ipod died (it might help if I charged it every once in a while) so I listened to the noise of my feet hitting the belt and the whistling tune that the machine was making. I ended up finding my own rhythm quickly, and increasing the speed again, outside my normal comfort zone. Overall, it was a GREAT experience. I completed my C25K run for the day and not ONCE did I feel like I was going to fly off the back of the machine. I've "broken" the treadmill!

I ended up leaving the gym with a big smile on my face. Not only did I feel accomplished in my run (which, for the past few weeks on the track, I haven't been feeling like a runner much at all) but I know that the treadmill is now something that I can use as a training tool instead of something that freaks me out.

Reminding me of me

2009-02-09T08:51:00.002-05:00

Yesterday, while I was working on my paper (the draft is complete! just need to work in the tables, bibliography, and some citations), I had a thought. I was mindlessly eating my way through a bag of pita chips when I realized that I have this cycle: work hard during the week, go to the gym, eat right... and on the weekend, forget about it. Grr. So I wrote down five things that I think will help me:

1) I will not allow myself to throw away all my hard work on the weekend. I get one "cheat" day a week... that's it.

2) I will hit the gym five or six days a week (at least one of those days on the weekend).

3) When I go out, I will dress up. Dressing up helps me feel better about myself. A sweater and jeans just makes me feel sloppy and not in control of my weight.

4) I will focus on eating right and not snacking (read: eating another meal) before bed.

5) I will focus on being the best me and the rest will come.

As we move into the sixth week of the year, is there anything that you need to remind yourself of? Anything you notice that isn't working and that you need to change to see some success?

Weekly Weigh In: Stress Eating

2009-02-07T12:47:00.002-05:00

I appreciate all the comments that reminded me to breathe while working on my paper for this conference next weekend. It's going well now that I'm actually writing it. I sometimes get paralyzed by stress: you know, when you reach that point where you realize how much time you have left, you start to worry that your tests aren't really that original, you are concerned about members of your panel or the audience sneering at your work. It's amazing how catty the world of academics (and especially my field) can be.

The unfortunate response is that I stress eat. Yes, I do. I restrained myself from actually going to Kroger this week to pick up bag after bag of pita chips (hello, salt, thank you for being a friend). Instead, on Thursday night, after grabbing a beer with some work colleagues (in a super sized pint, which I didn't ask for), I came home, ate a healthy dinner of a 3 oz steak, asparagus and spinach. Then, I had a minor paper-related freak out. I tried to calm myself down with some Grey's Anatomy, but really, I wanted the remaining honey wheat banana bread that was in my freezer. I took it out, defrosted it, toasted it, buttered it, and gave into the beast called "Stress Eating."

Not surprisingly, I had a bit of a gain on Friday morning. That's why I waited to weigh myself in today. I worked hard all week on my nutrition, and I didn't want it reflected after my Thursday beer and bread and butter episode. I lost 0.2 pounds, which isn't a lot, but at the same time, I didn't gain. Also, because I've been stressing over my time commitments, I only made it to the gym four times this week. I usually aim for five or six times, but I just couldn't do it this week. Trust me, I'm not beating myself up over this... the paper is coming along nicely, and it's better than being stressed out over my paper while at the gym.

The Kiki Success Squad

2009-02-05T10:55:00.002-05:00

First off, sorry for no new Biggest Loser update. I've been so bogged down by this conference paper that I didn't even get to watch it myself on Tuesday night. I heard it was a good episode (and yes, I already know who was kicked off) so if I get around to watching it this weekend, I promise that I'll give you my thoughts in a seperate post.

Every morning, while I'm drinking my coffee, I read the Daily Spark. The other day they had a post called "Assembling Your Success Squad." I find it funny that most of my success squad is here on the internet. Yes, I have people in my every day life that are essential to my success: my gym buddy E. My walking buddy (y'know, when it isn't 10 degrees outside) D. My old neighbor J, who helps me to complain about my weight loss and exercise pains.

But a lot of you have come into my life through this little blog right here. C and Marcie, who started out at the same time as me. RooBabs, KK, and Angie, my running gurus. Miz, PTG, and Cammie, my all around start my day off with a chuckle gals. And Kelly, my fitness buddy who was "introduced" to me by Miz. Every time I post, I look forward to seeing all your comments, suggestions, and pick me ups. So, even though I haven't been posting as much lately (trust me, my work life is pretty much hell for me), you guys ARE my support system. And even though I might not have mentioned you by name here, I always enjoy the random passerby who has a helpful comment. It's amazing to know where I was last year when I started this blog (geez... a year already?) and how far I still can go with your help and support. So, here's a big THANK YOU and a hug!

Groundhog Day

2009-02-02T08:14:00.002-05:00

Puxatawney Phil saw his shadow today, meaning six more weeks of winter. Those of us in the Midwest and the Northeast are considering finding Phil and giving him a good beating.

I went grocery shopping yesterday, and one of the things that I'm trying to be better about is eating my fruits and veggies. I view the day in thirds: morning, afternoon, evening. I try to eat at least two fruits and/or veggies in each part of the day. I've discovered the usefulness of Glad Steam Lock Bags in steaming veggies like broccoli or asparagus (YUM!). Helps me to not feel so lazy while I throw my dinners together after a long day of working.

One thing that frustrates me about the Hungry Girl emails is that she uses all these ingredients (Tofu Shiraki anyone?) that you can't get unless you 1) live in a big city or 2) have a Whole Foods near your house. I've looked and looked at the fancy schmancy new Kroger that has been all the rage of Motown...nope, no Tofu Shiraki. Just plenty of expensive veggies. Oh, well.

Exercise wise, I did my first long 20 minute run in a looooooooong while. Probably since Thanksgiving. Saturday, I dragged my butt to the gym and hoofed it around the indoor track. I ran a 11:20 mile! I can't believe myself!!! Isn't that awesome? I slowed down a bit after I hit that mile mark, but still. Yesterday was the elliptical, and today I did Week 6 Day 1 (five minute warmup, 5 min run, 3 min walk, 8 min run, 5 min walk, 5 min run). I admit that on the Monday morning after the Super Bowl, I was a bit dehydrated (what's that, Sam Adams Light?) and over stuffed (huh, artichoke dip?) but I made it through. I'm going to be trying a new class at the gym tomorrow, so, we'll see how that goes.

Have a happy Monday!

Weekly Weigh In: Snowed In

2009-01-30T08:38:00.002-05:00

I haven't left my apartment since Wednesday evening. I'm lucky that for my job, I can work from home 3 days a week and that I really just need to be there physically twice a week. I've been working off my patootie on a paper for an upcoming conference (which is due to the discussant on February 10... 11 days and counting). Seriously people, I watched Lost and the Biggest Loser with my laptop open, working on my data! Also, since I've not been going in the office, I obviously haven't been going to the gym. I haven't been since Monday. That doesn't mean that I haven't been using my videos and starting up the 30 Day Shred again!

And... drumroll please... that brings me to my ONE pound loss that I had for the week! Ta da! I think most of it has to do with paying attention to my diet rather than all the exercise I've been getting in. So, three weeks into my Ten Pounds in Ten Weeks Challenge, I've lost 2.2 pounds, which averages out to about 3/4 of a pound per week. Not to shabby :) I think that eating right and exercising does a lot for your self esteem as well. I've been feeling fat lately (could you tell from my last post?), but knowing that I'm taking the time to eat right and to make time to work my body at the gym (or at home) makes me feel good about myself.

So, my goal for next week will be another movement down on the scale (woot!) and to keep it up with my healthy eating. I'm going to a Super Bowl party on Sunday, but I promise not to indulge. After all... there is always celery associated with wings right? I'll just concentrate on the green stuff :)

Pilates Punishment

2009-01-29T07:38:00.003-05:00

I don't think I've told you all, but I've started doing Pilates twice a week. It's a lot more difficult than I remember it to be. When I lived in Tallahassee, I used to go to a women's only gym with a friend's girlfriend. She was into going to yoga and pilates classes, while I was trying to peel off the pounds by hitting the cardio machines. However, I did go to yoga and pilates with her. Pilates was difficult, but I remember being able to do planks, side planks and all sorts of different things.

Granted, that was about 5 years ago. And (while I know I'm not 105 years old) there is a difference between being in your early 20s and now in my (sniff sniff) late twenties. So, when I went to Pilates for the first time a few weeks ago, I didn't think it was so bad. We did a lot of core work, and it was fine. When I went back for Friday's class, our instructor told us to get foam rollers and some gadget that was an exercise band with wrist and ankle attachments. To me, it looked like something completely from the Inquisition. Was I going to be put on the rack? And then bound and quartered?

My main nemesis is the side plank. I get along fine with the front plank. No problem at all. But get over onto that side, and I'm all sorts of wobbly and uncoordinated. I feel like my instructor looks at me like, honey, you're a big girl, you can't do it all at once. (I believe her exact words to me when I asked her for help with the side plank after class was "you're new. you can't expect to run a marathon tomorrow if you've never run before in your life.") I want to scream "I'm in the best shape I've ever been in my life!!! Yes I'm still a big girl, but I *should* be able to do this!!" I guess that's why Pilates frustrates me so much. I hang in the back with the "Plus-25 crowd" which ranges from those of us in our late 20s and early 30s to some women who are easily in their 50s and 60s, while the front of the classroom is filled with 18-22 year olds that weigh all of 95 pounds. They can bend and stretch and balance with no problems. Drives me crazy.

But it just makes me want to get stronger and practice that side plank every friggin day!

Biggest Loser: It's a Trap!

2009-01-28T07:43:00.003-05:00

Okay, while I did watch BL last night, I'm having a hard time recalling specific details. So, you'll just have to help me out in the comments section. I was working while watching... and I'll be bogged down with work until Valentine's Day. Lucky, lucky me :)

Bob's team felt betrayed by Jillian's team, because they voted Damien off last week instead of Joelle. Filipe was wound up: If you want to play the game, let's play the game! Bob did some team building exercises with them and everyone was happy. Except... we got to visit their partners at home. Um, excuse me David? You're smoking AND pigging out? Laura? Partying it up in Miami Beach? Your friends on campus will be pissed when they find out.

Ali shows up with another NFL themed challenge (how lucky were they to get Kurt Warner... not knowing the Cards would be in the Super Bowl). It was a cooking challenge with that Australian hottie Curtis Stone, who hosts Take Home Chef on TLC. Now that's not an offer I'd argue with :) They had to guess the calorie content of fatty Super Bowl foods like chicken wings and seven layer dip. Then, Helen, Kristin, and Dan competed to have Curtis visit their partners who are at home plus a 2 pound advantage in the first couples weigh in. Dan won, and Curtis went to visit David in SC. At this point, I'm getting so annoyed at any BL product placement. They are just sooooooooo fake! (hey guys! don't eat that oatmeal! quaker's not a sponsor any more, even though we pushed it big time last season! eat fiber one instead!!!!!)

Their challenge was similar to the one they did last season with Steve Young and Jerry Rice... run footballs to each other's bins, fill them up, and the contestant gets disqualified. Helen won, beating Joelle (!!), and was able to guarantee that she and her daughter will be back next week.

Before the weigh in began, Ali had a surprise for everyone... their partners were back already! But would they stay? After the weigh ins, the brown team and Dan (orange) were in the bottom two. Ron, the Brown dad, cried, saying don't take this experience away from my son. David, on the other hand, was like, eh, you need to send me home, I don't care. Yeah, you probably want some more smokes and wings, no? At the voting table, I was so worried that the Brown Team would be going, but I'm glad that some people (Tara and Felipe) reemed David for his "I don't care" attitude. But wow... DANIEL!!! He lost 101 pounds since he's been home. He actually looks like a different person. He should be very proud of himself, since he obviously doesn't have the support of his teammate.

Next week... first 10 minutes, the at-home contestants weigh in. Let the fur fly! WOOO!!!!

Note to Self

2009-01-26T09:25:00.002-05:00

Yesterday, I went to the gym after mass to do some cardio and strength training. I picked up some sort of US/People/Hello! type magazine, and was looking through it while I worked on the elliptical. Finally, I got to a story on Jenny McCarthy. Say what you will about her, but you do have to give her major props for losing weight on WW. Anyway, she said something that resonated with me and is now a part of my "note to self" for the week: Weight loss is 90% eating and 10% exercise. She said, "I can be a toned fat person or a toned thin person. It depends on what I eat." Amen! I haven't been paying much attention to food lately (work stress... ugh!). That's what I'm going to focus on for the week.

Weekly Weigh In: Not Going Anywhere

2009-01-24T10:51:00.004-05:00

I can't believe that I hardly blogged this week. I've been really focused on work, especially since I have a conference coming up in two and a half weeks. That being said, I did awesome with my workouts this week. I took a day off on Tuesday, but other than that, I've been at the gym every day. I've had a little difficulty with my runs now that I bumped it up to two intervals of eight minutes running and five minutes walking. About half way through my second set yesterday, I got the worst side cramp and had to walk for about 30 seconds. Ugh. Don't you hate when that happens?

I didn't lose any weight this week, but I maintained. I'm happy with that, mainly because cooking has been such a pain in the butt. Mondays and Wednesdays are my late teaching nights, and I usually just have leftovers. But even on days that I have time to cook, I'm kind of in a rut. I put in a lot during the day that I'm kind of exhausted when I get home. I full admit to having a "grazing" dinner on Tuesday night, even though I had the time to cook something. However, I'm starting to turn a lot to soups and sandwiches as meals, just because they are easy and healthy. Do you ever get into a rut with your cooking? Or find yourself completely lacking motivation to face the stove? What do to you to move past that and yet still maintain your healthy lifestyle? I've also started weight training again, so I think that has contributed to the non-movement of my scale this week.

Hope you have a good weekend!

Mind Games

2009-01-21T08:30:00.002-05:00

I've started weight training again, and it is so tiring :) I'd say it's been a good six or seven weeks since I picked up a weight or did a lunge. On Sunday, E and I decided to start our strength training along with our C25K. We did some weights, lunges, squats, and crunches. I was tired afterwards, but not really sore. Monday, we went to Pilates and did a C25K run (still repeating W5D1). Since it was a holiday, I went home and worked from my couch while watching Rocky II (the only Philadelphian athlete who never disappoints... hint hint Eagles defense). When I tried to get up to get a drink... OMG. I. Was. So. Sore. I ended up working from my couch for the rest of the day and popping two Tylenol before I went to bed. I almost didn't work out yesterday, but I figured that something is better than nothing. So, I did the strength training workout from the Biggest Loser Vol. 1 DVD. I felt a lot better doing something... and I definitely wasn't sore this morning.

We've been moving along on our journey back in the C25K. Since it has been so long since I've run, I've been repeating lots of days. And trust me: three intervals of 5 minutes of running followed by three minutes of walking is ALOT if you haven't run in seven weeks. Today, we decided to progress and move onto W5D2, which is two intervals of 8 minute runs and 5 minute walks. I didn't think I was going to make it through the runs, and yet, I did. Part of it was that E and I switched our running positions. I had been running on the outside lane and E on the inside. In running on the outside, I felt that I was always trying to catch her, that I was going too slow, etc. I told her it was messing with my head, and that's why I was so out of breath while I was running. After our first interval, she totally got what I was saying... there's just something about that outside lane that makes you go crazy... all the speeding up and slowing down to pass people that are walking, going around the corners make you fall behind... it's a big old mind game! We're planning on next Friday being our long 20 minute run... ugh. It seems so far away, and yet, I know we can do it!

Biggest Loser Update

2009-01-20T21:30:00.001-05:00

I'm sorry to inform those of you who want my usual Wednesday BL commentary. Sorry kids, but I'm too busy watching the Neighborhood Ball on ABC. This week, Michelle Obama's dress (oh, yeah, and our new president) ranks higher than the BL. I promise to be all caught up for next week's show :)

Something New: Chicken with Caramelized Onions and Mushrooms

2009-01-20T08:30:00.004-05:00

As I promised, I will be trying out one new recipe per week. It helps me out in a way, since I don't get home until 6:30 on Mondays and Wednesdays and by the time I do get home, I'm starving. So, I'm planning on making these new recipes on the weekend, in order to have leftovers later in the week. This week, I tried the Hungry Little Catepillar's Chicken with Caramelized Onions. I added the mushrooms :)

Chicken and Caramelized Onion and Mushrooms:

1 onion, cut into large pieces

1 cup of mushrooms, sliced

1-2 chicken breasts, cut into bite-sized pieces

1 tsp. butter or oil

1/4 cup chicken broth

2 Tbsp. balsamic vinegar

1/2 - 1 tsp. basil

salt and pepper to taste

In a large skillet over med-high heat, add the onions to heated butter/oil. When onions are beginning to become translucent (cooked through, about 5-10 min) add the chicken broth. Cook, stirring, until the broth has fully evaporated. (about 10 min) Add the mushrooms Add the vinegar, and continue to stir until vinegar has fully evaporated. (another 5-10 minutes) The onions should be dark brown and limp. Remove onions from a pan to the serving plate.Add the chicken to the skillet (do not clean it - broth/vinegar residue flavors the chicken) and sprinkle with salt, pepper, and basil. Cook until chicken is cooked through. If onions have cooled, you can add them back to the skillet for a minute or two to re-heat them. Serve immediately. Makes 2 servings if you only use 1 chicken breast (like me!).

I served it with brown rice to cut some of the sharpness in the onions from the balsamic vinegar. What did it look like? Voila! And it tasted great. The only thing I would warn is that it does take time to make this meal... it certainly isn't a quick stirfry.

Total Frustration

2009-01-18T13:18:00.002-05:00

I received a phone call yesterday from my mom... she was really concerned about my aunt. My aunt is extremely obese for her frame. I think her BMI is somewhere close to 60 (if you need a reference, obesity starts at a BMI of 30). Anyway, throughout her life, she's had her ups and downs with her weight. About four or five years ago, she got down to a healthy weight, but unfortunately, a series of surgeries plus quitting smoking has made her bounce back up in her weight, making her get to her highest weight ever. I've tried to help her, especially since my own BMI was about 45 when I started losing weight, but her response to everything is that it may have worked for me, but I'm younger than her, I exercise, etc.

So, my mom calls me yesterday to tell me that my aunt went to her family doctor for a check up and that, in response to her weight gain, her doctor said, "Well, there's nothing else we can do for you. You should go get a lap band or gastric bypass surgery. That's the only way you'll lose weight." And like my mom, I was FURIOUS at this doctor. How can you tell someone that's the ONLY way they'll lose weight? I'm not saying that my aunt gained weight out of the blue. Obviously there are things that contributed to her gaining weight, including her own bad habits. But for a doctor to have this defeatist attitude, that this "quick fix" of gastric bypass will solve all my aunt's problems... it disgusts me. Gastric bypass is a last resort for many people. But before you get to this point, you try things: why not send her to a nutritionist or even a therapist to talk through her food issues? Why is it this "all or nothing" attitude?

I admit that when I was tipping the scales at 230 (I think closer to 240 if we're being honest... I never weighed myself when I was really heavy), I thought about how I would never be able to lose that weight. That I would probably just keep getting bigger and bigger. How I would never be able to have kids, because how could my body handle being a 300 pound pregnant lady? Once in a while, the idea of a lap band or gastric bypass would find its way in my mind. But finally, I got to the point where something in me snapped. I didn't want to live life as an obese American. I wanted to be thin, healthy, and to be able to shop in stores that weren't called "Lane Bryant".

But I think all of us who have been on this weight loss journey experienced this kind of epiphany, something that made us start eating better and moving our bodies. What happens when someone doesn't reach that point? What can we do to get them there? Unfortunately, I'm finding out the hard way that you can't do anything. I've tried with my aunt, I've actually written down what I eat and what I avoid for her (there is no magic recipe, but this is what works for me), I've encouraged her to not give up (which is SO important)... but I am so frustrated. It makes me sad to know that she's seriously considering some form of gastric bypass even though she was completely against the surgery for many years. I'm not saying gastric bypass is bad. It's a surgery, and like any surgery, there are possible issues. I'm concerned about her getting through the surgery, possible complications, etc. I just wish she wouldn't give up so easily on other methods of weight loss that don't involve anesthesia.

Run for your life!!

2009-01-17T12:00:00.004-05:00

I know that it's been a theme on some blogs lately... exercise for your life, make it a part of your life, live longer, etc. But no, the title of this blog is somewhat literal. E and I went for a run at the gym again yesterday. Except, we didn't go at 7AM... well, at least I didn't go at 7AM. At 7AM it was -6 degrees. I went at 4PM when it was a balmy 6 degrees above zero. I figured, it's cold, it's Friday, there can't be that many students around. Wow, I couldn't have been more wrong.

There were herds of boys running on the track. HERDS. And they were running with no rhyme or reason. It seemed that a lot of them were running to be the fastest on the track and be damned who was in their way. There was no attention paid to the signs that said 'slower runners stay on the outside of the track, while faster runners stay inside'. These boys were just running all over the track, and almost running over people to be the fastest. I'll say, it's enough motivation to make me get up early in the morning and get my butt on the track to run with the "old" folks, not the young testosterone-y bunch!

As for my run, I did Week 5 Day 1 of C25K again... 5 minute runs with 3 minute walks. Still getting winded. Boy, am I out of shape! But sticking with it will help me over this hump instead of just giving up completely. I'm also going to start weight training again today. Little by little, I'll get back to the shape I was in prior to my Christmas binge!

Weekly Weigh In: Shake those Maracas!!!

2009-01-16T10:34:00.005-05:00

My first week back on track and I lost 1.2 pounds. I know, y'all are going to hate me for this, but I am a little disappointed. My eating didn't go as smoothly as I would have hoped, and I feel that this held me back a bit in the numbers game this week. So, I won't sit here and pout like a Biggest Loser contestant. Instead, I'm going to tell you a trick I'm going to use this year. I'm going to focus on 10 pounds in 10 weeks. Doctors will tell you that losing a pound a week is good... the slower you go, the more likely you are to keep the weight off. So, I'm looking at small steps... 10 pounds at a time. Therefore, I'm changing my ticker up on top and moving my long-term stats off the page. When I reach a milestone, trust me, I'll let you know :) I'm still keeping track of those via Excel.

On another note, I fully admit to being obsessed with the movie Dirty Dancing. I've loved that movie since I was 10 years old, when my tap class did a routine to "Do You Love Me" and I was introduced to the world of Johnny Castle. This year, I had a hard time finding a replacement for my trusty workout calendar that I keep on my fridge... until I found an official Dirty Dancing calendar. There are pictures from the movie and quotes too. This month, it's Baby's infamous "I carried a watermelon?!?" line. I thought I was in love until I found this on a recent Target excursion:

You seriously do not realize how close I was to spending a portion of the gift card that was burning a hole in my pocket on the OFFICIAL Dirty Dancing workout. How awesome does this thing look? And the preview that Amazon has up looks fun. I'm adding it to my netflix list as I type this. I'll let you know how much I enjoy it!

Baby, It's Cold Outside!

2009-01-15T11:41:00.002-05:00

I think everyone in the country (even my friends in Tallahassee!) could agree that it is mighty cold. So cold that I spent the morning catching up on work emails, paperwork, etc, in my pajamas, slurping down hot hot coffee. Is it wrong that I keep looking at weather.com and saying, okay Saturday will be back in the 30s. I can handle the 30s! I can handle the 20s! What I can't handle is single digit weather!!

So, even though it's cold outside, I've been staying on top of my gym going. It helps to have a gym buddy. However, on Tuesday, I went to the new gym by myself. Oh, that was an experience. Like I said, my new gym is the rec center on campus. I'm definitely not old, but I'm a good 10 years older than some of the kids that go there. Since I could only sign up between the hours of 10AM and 6PM, I figure I'd go at 10ish, work out and then come home. I found myself an elliptical and settled in for the next 45 minutes. Who knew it would be so amusing to watch the New Year's resolution crowd kick in?

There was a girl on another elliptical wearing the TIGHTEST clothing I've ever seen. Her racerback top was about two sizes too small. She wasn't a big girl, but she definitely wasn't a twig either. And you can tell she was self-conscious because she kept tugging at her shirt. Oh, goodness. Then, the same pair of 18 year olds kept walking around, waiting for two machines next to each other to open up. I don't know... when I go to the gym, I have an in and out mentality. Get on a machine, do my 45 minutes, and I'm done. I wish I had the time these girls did to waste walking around, waiting for two contiguous machines to be open. Then, my favorite: The "we're so in love" couples. These bf/gf combos are also looking for machines together. The guy constantly offers his lady some water, making sure she's okay, blah blah blah. But do they get much work done? They're too busy BEING together for that nonsense!

I'm excited about my run tomorrow morning because I'll be able to use my NEW running shoes. When I was home, I was refitted for shoes, because I had a suspicion that my shoes were too big (hence the blisters on my instep). I was right. The guy who runs the running store apologized for whoever put me in those sneakers... he said that he had hired a new guy right around the time that I was fitted, and he suspected it was him. Makes me kind of hesitant to go back to that store, but at least I have an idea of what kind of shoe I should be looking for, even on my own. Anyway, I bought a pair of Brooks this time, just to try some other brand out. I'll let you know about the maiden run on Friday :)

Biggest Loser Couples: Bleep Bleep Bleep!!!

2009-01-14T08:49:00.002-05:00

Things have been going well with me so far this week. Yesterday, I officially signed up at the gym. Yay! I did 45 minutes on the elliptical and went home. Last night, E and I agreed to meet at the gym at 7AM, but we woke up to 12 degree weather and a bit of ice/snow on our cars. Are you kidding me? I got up for this? We ended up meeting at 7:15, but still we GOT there. We did Day One of Week Five from the C25K program. Let's just say that we're going to have to do it over again. The runs are 5 minutes long, with a 3 minute walk in between. The first five minutes were fine. The second and third runs? Oy... I had the worst cramp on my right side. But I pushed through it. I just kept thinking of Bob yelling at me :)

Speaking of, ahem... time for some BL analysis!!

Joelle just ticked me off from the beginning. Ali approached the contestants with a temptation: Take $5K and walk away from the game. Seriously, girlfriend, you thought $5K was going to turn your life around? And this show (and Bob) isn't? Grr... Ali then raised the ante from $5K to $10K to $15K. Joelle was the ONLY ONE who seriously considered it. And it ticked everyone off.

Next they faced their challenge: They had to kayak to shore and then hike up a hill (it was a mountain, but they only went up a little hill of it). Blaine (Black Team) and Tara (Green Team) were in the lead. I loved how Blaine kept shouting back at her. Ali called it egging her on, but really, Blaine was challenging her and encouraging her to keep going. Who knew she would pull it off and WIN immunity for the week? I know Blaine didn't!! Then, the contestants came in, one by one, some winning a phone call home, others just glad that they didn't get the one pound penalty. At the end, it was Daniel (Orange Team) and Jerry (White Team)... the heaviest contestant vs. the oldest contestant. Jerry ended up making it in ahead of Daniel, but at the same time, I was so touched that Blaine, Tara, and Helen (Pink Team) come back down to help Daniel all the way up the hill. Awesome job of bringing the spirit back to the BL guys!

Then, there was the official Bob freaks out moment. (and yes, I found Bob to be super hot, cussing a storm up... ah, passion) Joelle was half-assing her workouts all day. And Bob got pissed, just like he has every right to be. You're on the ranch, supposedly WANTING to be there, and you don't put in the effort. WTF? I was waiting for a Bob's team mutiny... I want to know who shouted "stop thinking about yourself! think of us!" when they had to do the sprints for the third time after Joelle jumped early. I'm starting to think that Carla was right about not wanting to leave Joelle on the ranch. I'd be pissed if my friend ruined it for me too.

So, the weigh in... Joelle was thisclose to being in the bottom two, but because of his one pound penalty, Daniel was under the line with Jerry. Okay, I wanted to cry at this point. The two people who needed to be on the ranch the most were in danger of leaving. I completely understand why the contestants decided to keep Daniel instead of Jerry... Daniel needs to LEARN so much more than Jerry does. But at the same time Jerry is so inspiring. But wait! What about the where are they now segment? Jerry lost 80+ pounds!! And looks AMAZING (as does Estella! Can't forget about her!) But I love the fact that the two of them put their noses to the grindstone and did it... all by themselves. Great job guys!

Ugh, more Joelle drama next week. I hope she doesn't turn into this season's Vicky. Your thoughts?

And the year begins...

2009-01-12T13:55:00.003-05:00

For some people, the year begins on January 1st. Not for me. The first day of the year starts on the first day of the semester, which for me is today. I could use this post to rant about the ten pounds I gained over break (and the three of them that I already lost), but I won't. Instead, I'm going to take the time to put some 2009 goals out there.

1) Live Healthier: This includes eating better (which I did not do over break) and going to the gym consistently. I've decided to join a new gym this year, the student rec center, which I tried out last night. I love it. It is bright and airy, which my old gym wasn't. It also has a bunch of classes and new things (climbing wall anyone?) that I want to try out. I want healthy living to be exciting, not mundane.

2) Try one new recipe a week: I subscribe to a lot of magazines, and there are always these great recipes in there that I rip out, but never get around to making. Seriously! They fill a binder up on my bookshelf. It reminds me of that Queen Latifah movie "Last Holiday": She had this book of possibilities, which included recipes she never got around to making. That's me. I think they look scrumptious, but I don't really know. So, I'm going to try one new recipe out a week and share it with you!

3) Focus on my weight loss goals: Looking back on 2008, it was a good year. I lost 30 pounds (before I gained back 10 of them). But, in looking at my weight loss record, I lost 20 pounds between January and May... and then gained and lost and gained the same 10 pounds from May to December. What the heck? I think the second half of the year was pure laziness on my part. I ate what I wanted, didn't track, didn't do much of anything regarding healthy eating. Instead, I wanted exercise to cover it all. I know that doesn't work. So, instead of saying the cliche "2009 is the year where I lose the rest of my weight", I'm going to say that 2009 is the year where I pay more attention to what goes in my mouth.

4) Run a 5K: Oh, you'll be so disappointed. I didn't run the 5K on New Year's Eve. First, a couple ice storms disrupted my training. Trust me, I walked over to my aunt's house one day and realized how many people DON'T clean their sidewalks (after I fell on my booty a few times... no worries, it has plenty of padding). Then, a couple (okay, a couple dozen) cookies disrupted my training. THEN, one of my very best friends from college came to visit me and left on New Year's Eve at 2PM. The race was at 1. Notice the laziness? Oh, well. 2009 is the year I will run a 5K. I promise! I even got new running shoes!

5) Be Positive: Sometimes I get really down about my weight loss progress. But you've lost 40+ pounds, you say! Yes, you're right. I did. And I've kept it off. However, thinking back to that May-December 2008 trend I had, it really sucked. So, I'm going to focus on being positive about this journey I am on. I'm going to think about all the things I'll be able to do with my new body. (5Ks? Skiing? Shopping for cute clothes without worrying about size?) I'm in the process of putting together a vision board to help me on this journey as well as some other more personal goals I have.

So, there you have it. A new year brings about new chances and new beginnings. We can dwell on what we didn't do in the past, but it's so much easier to just look to the future.

Biggest Loser Couples: Meet the Couples... or Not

2009-01-07T14:54:00.002-05:00

Okay, I fully admit to not taking close notes last night on the BL, mainly because my mom and I were talking the whole time and I was also texting E through the whole thing. But overall, here are some thoughts.

I am so glad (kind of) that White Team dude didn't pass out from Jillian working him too hard. That was seriously my biggest fear, because lots of people think that Jillian and Bob push these people too hard. I mean, I didn't enjoy watching him pass out, but at the same time... he made himself pass out from his own workout. Wow. I also mentioned that I was watching with my mom, who will be turning 62 years young next week. In looking at Jerry and Estella, I told my mom that even though she is out of shape and overweight, there are people who are in a much worse position than her. I really think that last night's show motivated her to start moving. Y'know, when there isn't ice on the ground, which seems a constant here in my hometown over the holiday.

I seriously can't believe how young some of these contestants are... and how big they allowed themselves to get. Seriously. Makes me thankful that I had my wakeup call while I was in the mid-200s (wow, did I just say that?) instead of letting myself get into the 300s. Oh, and if I was the last

Teams I like: The Blue Team (cousins), The Yellow Team (sisters), The Black Team (cousins), The Red Team (the engaged couple), and the Green Team (former models). Teams I don't like: The Silver Team (more on that later), The Purple Team (seriously? you picked Bob over Jillian? J trains WINNERS...), The Brown Team (don't like the dad). The rest? No opinion just yet....

I am seriously upset about the twist, where each team (minus the Brown and Black teams) had to send ONE person home. This is just dumb beyond belief because there are people who NEED to be on that ranch. They ALL need to be on the ranch, and to send them home right away, it's like not even giving them a chance. Also, the Silver Team kind of drove me crazy. Right away, Carla seems like a game player. She threatened Joelle when they were discussing the split in the room, and then at the table, she said that this was a real test of their friendship. Um, Joelle, you'd better lose weight and get Carla back to the ranch or she won't be your friend anymore. Nice.

Sorry that I didn't give you a more complete update... but I am enjoying my last few days at home. NBC made it easier for me by splitting the teams, less names to remember :)

Happy 2009!!!

2009-01-05T15:52:00.001-05:00

I've been meaning to write a 2008 wrap up post (which I've thoroughly enjoyed all of yours!) but I've been too busy relaxing these past two weeks! I promise to get around to it sometime today or tomorrow... but until then: WHO'S READY FOR THE BIGGEST LOSER COUPLES STARTING TUESDAY NIGHT?????

I know I am :)

Fabulous, Dahling!

2008-12-18T08:39:00.005-05:00

Thanks to PTG who nominated me for the Your Blog Is FABULOUS award. This post is going to be a short one because I'm getting ready to head out of town for the holidays. Don't worry... I'll be posting less, but I will be posting over the next few weeks. I think I'd go crazy without my blog support. So, who do I want to pass this award onto (and mainly give shout outs to)?

1) Kelly over at Choosing Losing: Her motto pretty much sums up what this journey is all about. She's my Miz Fit match buddy, and even though we've both been slacking in the whole communication update department (I blame finals.... I think K does too!), we've been reading each other's blogs and keeping tabs on the other. I'm hoping that now that we have a few weeks, we'll get our emails back in order :)

2) Angie over at Angie Eats Peace: I found Angie's blog through another fitness board that I used to frequent. I love to read her blog about her running, her adventures with her family, and her struggles to eat vegan in a omnivorous world. She makes me wish I lived closer to a Trader Joe's with all her yummy food posts!

3) KK at Running Through Life: The more and more I read her blog, I realize that we both have similar time constraints on our fitness/blogging/me time due to work. I love all the little tidbits that KK's been sharing with us lately by putting up links to fun workouts and advice. Hopefully you'll get some me time over the next few weeks!

4) Jason at Recast in Iron: Jason and I are coworkers, and I was happy to see that he found my blog and has freely given his advice on my running goals/training. It's been really helpful! He is such an inspiration to those of us who are still pushing through our weight loss/fitness goals. I figure if he can train for an Ironman, I.... er, I guess I could too, but I don't think I'm into self-inflicted torture :)

5) RooBabs at Work Those Lower Body Curves: Little does RooBabs know, but I keep her "I'm a Runner" bracelet that she sent me in my desk drawer. It's a little reminder to myself that as I'm pushing through a day of writing and research, I need to take some time for myself and go out and enjoy the day with a little bit of running. Because after all.... I AM a runner :)

What Have You Done Today To Make You Feel Proud?

2008-12-16T22:08:00.003-05:00

Biggest Loser Spoilers Ahead!! Stop reading now!!!

I have to say: for all the tension and excitement that went into this season, and especially this finale... everything happened according to plan. Well, except Heba's win, but that's another story. Some general comments before I get started. Wow-- did Ali Sweeney pop or what? Even in the last week, I kept thinking to myself, I thought she was prego, she certainly doesn't look all that prego... but tonight she certainly DID look prego!!! Holy cow! What about no one cheering for Vicky's part of the intro? That was hilarious! It was pretty obvious that the crowd was behind Michelle 100%. I think everyone was sick of the negativity that this season generated. At one point, Ali also said that they spent 102 days on the ranch and 122 days at home before the finale. So, basically, the contestants had about seven and a half months to lose this weight. Sure, it's accelerated, but it's not as bad as it is sometimes portrayed.

First thing first: Who was going to be the "third" finalist? Heba or Ed? They both looked fantastic, although I'm going to be a bit catty. I thought Ed looked old. And yes, Heba needed a more supportive bra than the one she was wearing. As someone who now has some saggy boobs due to weight loss, a supportive bra does EVERYTHING for an outfit. The dress looked great, her boobs didn't. Ali tells us with 84% of the vote, ED is the finalist. HAHAHA. I'm so glad that 84% of the voters were in the same mindset at me!

Next, they bring the kicked off families off in order: Adam and Stacey (who looked FABULOUS), LT and Tom (who weren't as heavy as they were... but still looked big), Jerry (AWESOME!!!) and Coleen, Shellay (hot mamma!) and Amy C., Phil and Amy (I'd vote them for best looking couple!), Brady (eh), Renee (looked good, but didn't really like her hair), and of course Heba. I thought the $100K at home prize weigh in was the most interesting! The lead jumped around: first, it was Stacey in the lead, then Jerry, Shellay, and Amy C in quick succession. Philip weighed in and lost 151 pounds. His wife Amy P. weighed in, lost 105 pounds... and captured the lead with a 45.85% loss. At this point, I was like YES!!! I've always liked the Red Team, and I wanted them to stick it to the Four Musketeers BIG TIME. Brady weighed in next, and although he lost 117 pounds, he didn't have the percentage to beat Amy (YES!!!). Renee lost 106 pounds, but also didn't have the percentage to beat Amy. It came down to Heba. She needed to lose 134 pounds to beat Amy... and she lost 138. Grr. So, now I was worried about H&E walking away with $350K.

So, then they brought out the finalists. Of course, they all looked great. Vicky tried to claim that she only lost 2 pounds in seven weeks, with working out four hours a day. YEAH RIGHT. C'mon. We already had seen Ed, so, Vicky came out wearing a great looking dress (although Amy P was still best dressed... that red dress looked HOT on her!). But, she couldn't move in the dress at all. And the stage was super slippery. But (being the evil kikimonster that I am) I was disappointed that we didn't get to see her fall. Bob was such a gentleman that he caught her and walked her to the front of the stage. Then Michelle came out and WOWEE!!! She looked FABULOUS.

Because Michelle had won the last week on campus, she chose the weigh in order: First, Ed, then Vicky, and then Michelle. Ed lost 139 pounds, with a 41.49% weight loss. He held onto first place when Vicky weighed in and lost 101 pounds, with a 41.06% loss. Ali tells us that to win, Michelle needs to lose 100 pounds. Seriously, at this point, I don't know how that girl kept a straight face. Her starting weight was 242 pounds, and looking at her, you KNEW she was under 140, easily. She weighed in at 132, with a total loss of 110 pounds, with a 54.54% loss. MICHELLE WINS!!!! I'm so glad this season ended on a positive note.

Although, I'm curious if we have the same commercials nationwide. Right after Ali cut to commercial, when we were all waiting with baited breath for Michelle's weigh in, NBC ran a Coco Chanel commercial starring none other than Keira Knightley. Yes, that twig of a girl. Seriously, NBC... bad timing? Someone with a bad sense of humor working the commercial desk? I just found it odd. To me, anorexic people aren't inspiring. Sorry Keira.

And what about the new season which starts January 6th? (NBC, I sure hope my check is in the mail for all this free promotion!) They're bringing in the HEAVIEST contestants ever, the OLDEST couple, the HEAVIEST woman, and the HEAVIEST CONTESTANT EVER. PERIOD. I think this is going to be a mess. I think we're going to move from being completely bitter to feeling sorry for all these people. What was up with showing the "oldest" man passing out? I seriously almost cried at that point. Sure, inspiration will be shown, but to me, sometimes, this is just torture. We'll see soon enough!

On a final, personal note, I had a hard time moving today. I was snowed in, and I spent most of the day in front of my computer, stressing over an article that I'm coauthoring with someone who works in the UK. My coauthor and I went back and forth over email for much of the afternoon until I sank into total frustration at the state of this article. I wanted it to be done by the end of the week, and that's just not going to happen. It's like we're so close to being done, but yet, because of the holiday, so far away. So, I didn't work out. However, while I was watching the finale, I couldn't help but get up and MOVE. I ended up doing SparkPeople's 30 Minute holiday workout, which someone (KK? Cammy?) had posted on their blog right before Thanksgiving. IT WAS AWESOME. There are seven exercises that you can do with NO equipment, and you do three circuits with 15 reps of each exercise. I feel great because I moved my body today. That's what I did today to make me feel proud :)

Are You READY to RUMBLE???

2008-12-16T10:53:00.002-05:00

The highlight of my day will obviously be the Biggest Loser finale tonight. I am keeping my fingers crossed for Michelle, who is my one and only choice to win. At least last season, I was pulling for Ali and Kelly (both of their before and after pictures are on my fridge!), but this season, it HAS to be Michelle. I can't wait to give you all a rundown tomorrow!

This week has been kind of tough for me, exercise wise. Sunday, I went to spinning for the first time since the beginning of the month. Holy cow! I felt so out of shape it was unbelievable. I made it through class, but my legs felt so heavy while I was spinning. I felt that there was no ease or lightness to my spinning. It felt like work, not something that I enjoyed. Yesterday, I did a HIIT (high intensity interval training) session on the elliptical, where I went full out for 30 seconds and then had a recovery period of 90 seconds. I did a five minute warmup, a 20 minute HIIT session, and then cooled down for another five. It felt great. However, my abs and shoulders are super sore. I think my shoulder is more of a factor from my mattress. Brand new mattress... but I turned it from top to bottom for the first time. So, my little nook is now at my feet, which makes me sad. I also can't find my spot just yet. Grr. I think on this snowy day, I'll be working from home, and working OUT from home. I'll dig some of my favorite videos out and have some fun for 60 minutes. Now, which ones should I choose....

Speaking of choosing, I've decided to do some shoe shopping while I'm home. For you runners out there: Do you buy one pair of sneaks for running and then another for gym workouts? I was thinking that if I do this, my running shoes will last longer, and therefore, I won't have to shell out money for good running shoes more often than not.

Ruffles Galore!

2008-12-15T21:23:00.002-05:00

The past three weeks of my life have been like a circus (and yes, Britney, I blame you for putting all your new songs in my head... and myself for adding them all to my workout mix). Between end of the semester grading, finals, and then grading finals, I finally got a chance to breath. E and I went out to dinner tonight. Here's a pic of my infamous Ann Taylor size 12 outfit :) I love the satin pants and the ruffle-y top. And I apologize to my friends who are going to see me wearing this EVERYWHERE this holiday season. Sorry... but it's a great outfit and I love that I look great and FEEL great in it. I'll be back to my regular fitness (soreness) posting tomorrow!

Weekly Weigh In: Weighing In

2008-12-13T20:53:00.002-05:00

Sorry for the late weigh in... this week has been killer. I've been doing so much work, trying to play catch up with the semester (not to mention the guilt that comes with taking the next three weeks off) that I didn't weigh in yesterday morning. I also woke up with this horrible sinus headache/migraine that had me laying around the house all day. All in all, it wasn't a good day.

However, this morning was a different experience. Not only did I sleep for 10 hours and woke up with my headache gone, but the scale also told me that I lost a pound this week. WOOT! On Thursday, I had a conversation with one of my work colleagues. We started at the same time, so we've pretty much had the same experience within the department. One thing he complained to me about is that he's gained 20 pounds since he started the job and he racks it up to being unhappy. I had to shrug at him. I gained about 15 pounds my first year on the job, and now, I've lost 50 of those unwanted pounds. His response is that some people lose weight when they are unhappy. I laughed: I wish it had been that easy to blame my divorce and my early dissatisfaction with my job. Unfortunately, a lot of sweat, tears, and frustration has gone into losing those 52.4 pounds.

On a happier note, this week was the first time since HIGH SCHOOL that I have worn a size 12 in public. I know, I know, high school wasn't that long ago for me. But seriously? I think the last time I wore a size 12 was 1996. TWELVE YEARS AGO. E gave me a bag of her dissertation clothes (and a big WOOT to E for fitting into some smaller sized pants this week too!!), which contained a bunch of size 10s but also one pair of size 12s. I figured that since my Ann Taylor shopping spree over Thanksgiving where I bought a pair of size 12s, I might actually wear them in public one day. I figured Wednesday was a good day for that. I can't believe it. I'm sure I walked a little taller that day, just because I knew what number was on my label. Monday night is the debut of the Ann Taylor outfit, which is when E and I are going out for a big end of the semester survival dinner. I'll be sure to take some pictures :)

Taking Care of Me

2008-12-11T11:02:00.002-05:00

Yesterday, I finally made it back to the gym after a full 10 days without it. It's funny how easy it is to slip out of your routine. When I was at home for Thanksgiving, I was more willing to stay snuggled up in my bed rather than get up and go for a run in the morning. Now, getting over my cold, it is so much nicer to stay in my warm house in my sweatpants than to go out in the wet cold weather to drive to the gym and spend 30 minutes on an elliptical. Plus it's finals week. Sure, the students are stressing, but so are the faculty. I have a ton of mini projects that I need to get done before I leave for my break, because, trust me, nothing gets done when I'm at home. So, this morning, I found myself entering data (one of my mini pre-break projects), and wondering when and if I should go to the gym. I'm having dinner with some friends tonight, so yes, I should go work out. But I REALLY should finish this data before my dentist appointment in two and a half hours. However, the data will still be here tonight, where my motivation to put on my sneaks and get to the gym may not be. So, I'm heading off in a few minutes. Gotta take care of me first and then I can focus clearly on my work.

Biggest Loser: VOTE FOR ED

2008-12-10T11:38:00.003-05:00

Okay, this is going to be a total BL post, so stop reading (MIZ!) if you've Tivo'ed it.

Can I just say how disappointing last night was? Sure, I was super excited that Michelle kicked ass at the weigh in, that we finally saw Jillian cry (I love her), and that America decides the fate of the final three. However, more and more this season, this has been about playing the game, not making choices that will change the lives of the contestants. For example, take Vicky: Bob asked her what she learned from the whole BL experience. She said, "I learned about exercise and nutrition." And Bob asked again: "What did you learn about YOU?" Vicky: Mmm... nothing. I love when Bob told the Blue Team about the guy who won in the first season (total game player) who has now gained back all his weight. I feel bad for Bob. He has a team of game players, and you can see that it breaks his heart to know that he's working so hard at supporting them, and all they're getting out of it is how to win the game, not how to change their lives. And yes, I think this goes for Heba and Ed too.

So, let's go there: Heba and Ed. They work as a unit, which is good in some respects, but HORRIBLE in others. Heba totally half-assed the challenge because she knew that Ed could win it for both of them. Ed completely threw his weigh-in so that Heba could make the final three, but that turned out not to work anyway. And then their "plea" videos (which you can see here)??? As soon as Ed started talking about how we should all vote for Heba, I got turned off. Ed, don't you want this for yourself? To me, this just shows what a slackass he is (geez, guys, sorry for all the cussing, but last night really ticked me off). He never wanted to work out, he already went home, and to me, this just all says that he's not that into continuing with the hard work once he has gone home. Obviously, Heba is going to come back looking great because she's going to continue working hard at home. But, again, what has sunk into their heads about this? NOTHING. To me, they have taken nothing away from this.

Which brings me to my point: Vote for Ed. Screw these game players big time. I've been struggling with eating right all week, due to my cold, finals stress, and just being cooped up in my house due to the previous two issues. To me, it kind of sucks to have gained some weight this week, but you know what? I've learned so much about food, about myself, and about what I can do on this journey over the past year. And I refuse to gain the fifty pounds that I've lost back. To me, it's not about having a negative movement on my weight tracker. That's great, but I know that it's not going to happen every week. I lost close to 30 pounds this year. Would I have liked to lose more? Yes, but at the same time, weight loss is not a contest. I used to find this show so inspiring, and really, I credit the first "couples" season as being a huge motivator in my exercise challenges to myself. But now, I'm getting as jaded as all of you. And Bob's pleas last night for Vicky, Heba, and Ed to realize what this show is all about is too little too late. I'm just hoping that next season isn't as cut throat as this season, or NBC will be losing another viewer.

Ever have one of those days....

2008-12-09T15:34:00.005-05:00

Where you feel fat, bloated, and ugly? That's me today to a T. I literally retreated from the office to come home and put my sweatpants on. But I found a little pick me up in my mailbox from Dove. Excuse my dazed/I have a cold look:

Consider yourself hugged... because y'all are beautiful!!!

Thoughts on a Cold

2008-12-08T19:27:00.001-05:00

Found on active.com:
Here are some common sense tips for resuming workouts after being sick:

Don't rush it -- make sure you are FULLY recovered before you return to your exercise routines. If you have been sick for over a week, allow a few days of good health to pass before starting up again.

Avoid vigorous cardiovascular activities immediately after recovering from a cold or flu. Increased breathing may irritate and weaken your respiratory system.

Reduce intensity level and duration of your first few workouts after recovering from an illness. Do not attempt to make up for lost time by overdoing it.

Finish medications. Do not restart your exercise workouts until you have finished any prescription medicine or over-the-counter medications. Consult with your doctor if necessary.

Stay inside, especially in cold weather and avoid outdoor cardiovascular exercise. The increased stress on your body will weaken your immune system and lead to a relapse.

Stay warm. Hooded sweaters and fleeces are great for keeping your head and neck protected and your defenses up.

Listen to your body. If you are unusually tired, sense a return of any symptoms or just don't feel "right," ease off from your workouts and rest.

Don't forget your vitamins! Boost the immune system by increasing your vitamin C intake.

Don't panic that you have become out of condition because you weren't able to exercise while you were sick. Your health is much more important at this stage.

I am so FRUSTRATED!!!!!!

2008-12-07T11:50:00.002-05:00

I'm still sick as a dog, but now my "cold" has progressed to the point where I think I have a sinus infection (intense headache? check, rainbow colored boogies? check, ran through two boxes of tissues in a week? check). Therefore, I haven't been to the gym in a week. It's really driving me crazy, because I want to get on the elliptical, I want to go running, I want to get back to my spin class. It's also affecting my work. I have so much to get done in the two weeks before I leave for Christmas break, but I seem to have the attention span of a chipmunk (well, wouldn't you be the same way if you were either blowing your nose or coughing every 90 seconds?) I have an appointment with my PCP tomorrow, where hopefully she will bless me with a script for a Zpac, my lovely $10 cure all antibiotic. I guess when you are taking better care of yourself, much more than you have in a decade, you don't expect to be knocked completely flat on your butt by something like a sinus infection :(

One of my only little shining lights of happiness coming out of this misery (I'm waiting the hour before it's okay to take some excedrin again) is that it's clementine season... and I LOOOOOOOOVE clementines. It makes me especially sad when they are 1) ridiculously expensive or 2) you buy a crate only to find that there are four at the bottom that are mushy. But I love them because they are portable, sweet, juicy and delicious. Kroger had a great sale on them this past week, so go buy yourself a crate ASAP and enjoy. Build up that Vitamin C so you don't get sick like me :)

Weekly Weigh In: A Welcome Gain

2008-12-05T08:17:00.002-05:00

So, remember how earlier this week, I said that I had gained a ton over Thanksgiving? Well, y'all were right in that it peeled off of my body this week. Officially, I have a gain of 0.4 pounds for the week, but that's soooooooo much better than the 4+ pounds that I was showing last Friday. And, what makes me more grateful is that since I couldn't go to the gym this week, I still was able to lose that weight without exercise and just watching my diet. WOO. I think that sometimes I fall into the trap of exercising so I can eat more, which is not the best mentality. But I think this week helped me get back on track for the rest of the year :) Hope you have a good weekend!

I finally figured it out!!

2008-12-04T17:33:00.003-05:00

I'm feeling a wee bit better today. My nose has somewhat cleared up (not running, just congested) and I have a bit of a dry annoying cough (do I sound like a cold medicine commercial or what?), but that's better than how I felt yesterday. However, I'm really disappointed that I didn't go to the gym at all this week (except for spinning on Sunday afternoon) and that I won't be able to run my 5K on Sunday. I kind of wish there was a Turkey Trot for Christmas... so I started googling. My hometown sponsers a First Night celebration and a part of it... wait for it... is a 5K!!!! I can't imagine a better way to 1) blow out a successful 2008 and 2) make sure I don't completely pig out over the holidays. Even better is the fact that I just registered for it. I checked out the course, and it's something that I can completely do. I think I'm going to concentrate on some hill running as soon as I'm completely over my cold because the middle section is a bit of hill running. But I'm so excited about this!!!

excuse me while i go back to my regularly scheduled coughing and nose blowing....

Biggest Loser Recap: Crazy Crazy Vicky

2008-12-03T10:49:00.002-05:00

Greetings from sickly Kiki. I ended up spending the day in my pajamas, grading away. No gym for me. Also, not really much sleep either (stupid cold). I'm actually feeling a little worse today... seems like my cold is now migrating into my throat/chest area. Lovely. So, it'll only be a matter of time before I call my doctor for my wonder drug (ZPac please!) I've also decided that there will be no 5K for me on Sunday. Mad props to y'all who can run while having the largest sinus headache of your life, but me? I've been taking it easy this week, and I want to get over this cold. There will be more 5Ks in the future, and you KNOW I'll be there.

SPOILER ALERT. STOP READING NOW.

Anyway... BL. Ali tells them to pack up and that they're heading to NYC for their huge makeovers that they're going to debut on the Tyra Banks show (another crazy who I love!). Sounds good until Christian Siriano shows up. As a Project Runway fan, I have to say Christian has become the most overexposed caricature of any of the winners. Seriously, he has to go. BRING TIM GUNN BACK!!! And while people seemed to be raving about all those dresses he picked for the ladies, I'm sorry... hippy girls + pockets on dress = more attention drawn to the hips. My favorite dress that I bought over the summer had flimsy little pockets, but these were just big and bulky. Vicky's hips looked ridiculous with that belt (even I felt bad for her) and I just don't think that Christian had any idea what he was doing dressing a fuller figured woman. Tim Gunn is much more experienced at that. (DID YA HEAR ME NBC???? I WANT MY TIM GUNN!!!!!) Getting to see their families was cool, especially Michelle and her dad (aren't they adorable?) but like Jillian and Bob reminded them in Times Square, they were there for a reason: to lose weight, not to be all glammed up.

Okay, back to the ranch and the challenge for this week. At first, I thought it was the combination of my cold and grading, but the challenges are getting dumber and dumber as the season goes on, no? Here's a plexiglass box. Wedge yourself up in there and stay the longest. Then you get to go on a two week spa vacation. Um, what? NO SENSE. Also, if they can't hold themselves up, they have to drop down into the pool. Vicky stays up there for all of two seconds and then she sits on the divider between her and Michelle, refusing to fall. At this point, Roses by Outcast started playing in my head... you know, the last part of the song where they just keep repeating "crazy crazy b!tch"... yup, that's what I was thinking about Vicky. What on *earth* was she trying to prove by doing that? I loved how Heba was getting mad at her and telling Michelle to push her in. Eventually, Michelle won (rock on!) and they had to sit there for another 10 or 15 minutes before Vicky decided to drop in the water. Then she gave this little speech about how she doesn't trust herself, blah blah blah. It might have been sincere, but seriously, Vicky is like the boy who cried wolf. No one wants to deal with that crap anymore.

Last chance workout.... Jillian's freaking out because she's nervous (she's just a bundle of nerves this season, no?).... weighins: Ed and Renee fall below the yellow line and OF COURSE Vicky votes to keep Ed (you have to say when she puts her mind to something she does it). Renee goes home but looks fabulous! Girlfriend is a size 8. Wow!!! But we know next week is when the final three get to move forward. And just like last year, the public gets to choose who out of the bottom two moves on. Oh, please, let Vicky be in the bottom two. I'd love to vote her off. Me. Vote her off. You too.

Time for more tissues and a hot shower. Toodles!

All Vicky Haters!!!!

2008-12-02T12:46:00.001-05:00

You must watch this video... all the way to the end. The last 20 seconds are priceless!!!
http://video.yahoo.com/watch/3994492/10822908

As for me, I'm busy grading and fighting a cold. I'm going to spin tonight, and then sit my butt in front of the tv and grade some more while watching BL. Hope you enjoy the video!

Holiday Season: 1, Kiki: 0

2008-12-01T09:59:00.002-05:00

When I stepped on the scale this morning, I was less than happy. I seem to have gained a ridiculous amount of weight over the Thanksgiving holidays, although part of it is from my good ol' PMS bloating. I promise not to moan too much about it, but here on my thoughts on how Thanksgiving one upped me.

I don't understand how I am able to eat right and exercise regularly when I'm at home, but when I go to my mom's house, it's like everything I've done has gone out the window. I did this over the summer when I took my month-long vacation there, and it happened again last week. What's the solution? I can't not visit my mom (and it isn't her at all)... it's me. It's treating the holidays like every other day of the week. Or maybe, instead of treating the holidays like a week long treat or a month long treat (depending how you see it), allow myself to indulge on just that one day instead of having a week long feast on homemade truffles (which I made), fresh French bread from the bakery down the street, bagels with cream cheese (there was Fiber One cereal in my mom's pantry, but I *wanted* that bagel), etc.

I am a bit disappointed in myself. And I think I'm a little scared about the upcoming Christmas/New Years combo. I feel like I never really learned self-control regarding my eating because my rule is to not buy things that I know I will pig out on. But when I go visit friends and family, and they have that stuff (which, duh, they're allowed to), I have no self-control. So, that is what I need to spend the rest of this month preparing: my self-control. I seem to have a stressful three weeks ahead of myself as the semester winds down, so self-control will come into play a ton over the next few weeks. I think it'll be a good test for Christmas break.

Update from Thanksgiving Central

2008-11-26T10:58:00.002-05:00

Last night's Biggest Loser? All I have to say is that Amy C. got what she deserved by not kicking off Vicki last week. But she looks AWESOME. And how great were Michelle and Renee last night? I hope they make it all the way to the end. They are just awesome.

I've been running while I'm at home. Last Friday I went for a run and was wearing my usual long sleeved wicking shirt under a tee, and the old crossing guard yelled at me. He said I was going to catch bronchitus from running in the cold and being sweaty at the same time. I laughed at him and ran across the street.

Went shopping yesterday at Ann Taylor Loft. They had this great top that I've been lusting after, and I brought both an XL and a Large into the dressing room. I also wanted to try it on with a pair of black pants, but they didn't have a 14 on the rack. So I picked up a 12. And guess what: The XL was WAY too big, the Large fit perfect... AS DID THE SIZE 12 PANTS. WOOT!!!!

I hope that everyone has a good Thanksgiving. And don't sweat a few treats tomorrow. Enjoy yourself and get back on track with some holiday shopping on Friday :)

Weekly Weigh In: Woo Hoo!

2008-11-20T08:22:00.002-05:00

I continue moving down on the scale: I lost 1.4 pounds this week, which rocks my world!!! I really worked out hard this week. I restarted the 30 Day Shred (mainly since I've stopped, I've gotten kind of soft in the middle), went to Spinning on Sunday and Tuesday, and went for a run on Saturday. Yesterday, I skipped my workout to go out to dinner with E and another girl that we work with. You know, having a regular bitchfest (ptg, what did you call it? an eatandbitch?) really really helps with work. All three of us have been having rough weeks, workwise, and it just helped to eat some yummy food and talk it out. After two hours of sitting there and bitching and laughing, I felt a lot more relaxed. It was just what I needed. I ended up having a huge salad with goat cheese (yum) and a stuffed portabella mushroom cap, with zucchini, summer squash, onions, and artichoke hearts. Not so bad, although I'm pretty sure those veggies were sauteed in ridiculous amounts of oil.

I might have mentioned it in the comments of someone else's blog, but I'm putting it out here. I want to lose a total of 35 pounds by the end of 2008. That means I'm 4.8 pounds away from my goal. I have 4.5 weeks to lose these 4.8 pounds... and I think I can do this. I set this goal for myself because I want a reason NOT to pig out at all these wonderful dinners and parties that I will be going to over the next 4.5 weeks. It's also a doable goal... although, as always, I will be happy if I lose 3 or 4 of those pounds instead of the whole 4.8!

So, blogger friends, I am off for Thanksgiving break. Because of huntin' season (yes, it's not hunting season, it's huntin' season), we get all of next week off, which means I'm heading home to no internet land today. Of course, you might find me later this week perched on a stool at Panera, checking email and giving you guys some highlights of my trip, how I'm trying to avoid gaining weight at home (my poor mom... she's so happy that I've lost all this weight, but she's so torn because to her, she wants to feed me. She's Italian, what can I say?) So, no Biggest Loser update or Weekly Weigh In next week. Sorry :( I wish all of you and your families a happy and safe Thanksgiving... and that we keep it moving through the holidays!!

Biggest Loser: You Wanna Piece of Me?

2008-11-18T22:09:00.003-05:00

Before I jump into my Biggest Loser post, I have to tell you guys about the funniest thing that happened today. I went to spin class, as usual, and there were two guys in class tonight (apart from the old guy who's there every week). I've seen both of these guys around the gym before, and I'd have to say they're about my age. Well, spinning was crazy tonight. I don't know what happened, but my legs felt like lead. I kept going, but eased up on the resistance a bit... but still sweated like anything...seriously, it was just dripping off of me. When we were done, the guy on the bike next to me gave me a fist bump and he was like "yeah! great job!" I almost laughed out loud (I hope I didn't!) because I really needed that encouragement after my legs felt so tough!

BIGGEST LOSER ALERT. SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, I have to say, I'd love to be on an island with Bob, and since Amy has given up her "island" that she made for herself, I'd be happy to take her place since Bob supposedly resides there. Sigh. He's sooooooooooo dreamy. Even in his nut-hugger 80s shorts.

But onto the game. Seriously, someone needs to use a taser on Vicky. What was up with calling Amy a b!tch every two minutes? I thought this was a family show! I just think it shows how immature Vicky is and how she takes everything personally. The thing is (I know, I'm jumping ahead of myself) Vicky is playing to win. And if Amy is dumb enough to not realize that, well then, she deserves to be left up to the mercy of Vicky.

The 80s theme was so dumb. You didn't have Tim Gunn on this season, but you have an 80s theme? With Ali acting superdumb??? Ugh. I did enjoy Bob's step aerobics class and Jillian's breakdancing class. But the challenge itself is dumb and not really fair. Who knows all those random facts? I don't know. It's quite possible that I was completely bored when Vicky wasn't acting like a rabid dog.

I'm so glad that Michelle used the pound penalty against Vicky instead of taking the cash. I'm so disappointed in Amy. She needs to see that keeping Coleen would have been the smart thing because her weight loss was slowing down, and if she REALLY thinks that Vicky is going to save her if she ever falls below that yellow line... ha. I kind of want it to happen because I think she's dumb. And what was that crap about working 60 hours a week and having two kids? So does that just mean that Vicky's planning on gaining her weight back when she goes home, because, in her words, "when is she going to have time to work out?" Um, hon, it takes work to take the pounds off and KEEP THEM OFF. You're gonna have to keep going.

Coleen looks FABULOUS. Size 10! Woo! I'm just so glad to see how happy she is and that she keeps going. I seriously almost cried at that "where are they now" segment. Next week: Michelle and Renee sound like they are going to be threatened. That's going to make me sniffly again. I do have to say that there will not be an update next week, as I will be away on Turkey holidays. Sorry kids! I promise to pick the BL updates again the first week in December (eek!!!) Stay warm!!

It's Never Too Late to Be What You Might Have Been

2008-11-17T21:47:00.003-05:00

That's me, circa 1985, the second from the right (and how unfortunate, I'm the only little tomboy in pants!!!) My best friend from Pre-K, who I later ended up transferring to my high school during senior year, posted this on Facebook earlier today, and I started thinking: Who is that little girl? What is she thinking? Why is she not smiling? (I think the answer to that is I was concentrating on saying cheese.) Did I have any idea where I would be almost 24 years later??

Five years ago, I didn't think I would be divorced. Ten years ago, I couldn't imagine having to go through this journey to lose 100 pounds (considering 10 years ago, I was about 15 pounds lighter than where I am right now). Fifteen years ago, I couldn't picture myself going through a PhD program to become a professor. And yet here I am today. My life is being lived in ways I never imagined. There is a lot more living to do, but when you think back, isn't it amazing how we get to be who we are today?

I have a bookmark that reads "It is never too late to be what you might have been." It is a quote by George Eliot. I was looking at this bookmark last night and thinking... you know what? I'm happy where I am right now. It's definitely not where I expected to be in my late 20s, but you know what? All those bumps and falls and scrapes along the way have made me a stronger woman, emotionally and physically. I'm a lot more sure of myself than I was even three years ago. I credit that to taking better care of myself. I am me and I can shape who I want to be. I can do that by going to the gym. I can do that by listening to my inner voice and following my gut.

One of the things that I've always done was to make deadlines for myself: I'll have my PhD by 26 (it was 27, but who's counting?); I'll be married at 27; I'll have my first baby at 30. I can lose 100 pounds in one year. If I've learned anything over this journey called life, it's that we don't know what's going to happen to us next year, next week, or tomorrow. And I'm okay with that. I tried to think where I would be 24 years in the future... which would make me 52. There's a lot of living to do in those years and I'm going to enjoy every minute of it... and live with no regrets.

Weekly Weigh In: 50 POUNDS GONE!!!!!!!!!!

2008-11-15T10:12:00.008-05:00

I lost one single pound this week, but it was good enough to take me out of the 180s FOREVER and to hit my 50 pound mark. This means that I'm halfway to my goal weight! I'm so excited. I have to admit that I didn't always work the hardest towards this goal (ahem, summer), but I finally put my mind to it and reached it! Thanks for all your wonderful words of support to get me over that hurdle!! For your viewing pleasure, here are the official 50 pound mark before and after pics! PS That last "before" picture where I'm standing sideways putting food on my plate? That's from Thanksgiving 2006. I can't believe that was me two years ago!!

Touch Your Boobies

2008-11-14T09:54:00.002-05:00

I'm going to postpone my weekly weigh-in post until tomorrow, because there is something that I want to share with you all, which is really important. (but if you look at my ticker, you'll see there is something to celebrate!) Anyway, here's my story. I apologize because I think it's my longest post ever, but it's important.

I woke up on Saturday, November 1, groggy from a large carb indulgence that I shared with friends (pasta dinner with an excellent pumpkin bar creation that my friend made). I do what I do every morning: pee and then strip down to my underwear to weigh myself. I was curious to see what damage those snickers did to my weight loss. But what I didn't expect to happen did. I yawned and stretched, and while I was in front of the mirror, I saw a lump on my right breast. Um, what? When I put my arms down, you couldn't see it, but when I touched it, it felt solid. I could have thrown up right then and there. At first, I called my PCP, because her office is open on Saturdays until noon, and as soon as I told them that I found a lump in my breast, they scheduled me for a Monday afternoon appointment. I then called my mom, freaking out. Crying. I'm four months from my 29th birthday. I have no family history of breast cancer. There is no way this is happening to me. Luckily, my mom was strong for me, and I got past it. Doesn't mean that I didn't spend most of Saturday moping around, being scared. What I kept reminding myself was that I was young and that 80% of lumps are NON-CANCEROUS (thank you Susan G. Komen's website).

Monday, November 3: I was completely freaked out at my dr's appointment. What was positively weird about this whole thing is that I was at the dr's the week before for my annual exam (my PCP is also my gyno) and she found no lumps. I found no lumps. And there it was. About the size of a marble. Because it was palpable, she decided to send me for an ultrasound. I went straight from my PCP's office to the breast care center at the university's hospital. The women there were very nice, bringing me back to a changing area, giving me a little locker for my belongings, showing me the comfy waiting room for us ladies in our blue wrap-around tops. Finally, I was called back for my ultrasound, and the friendliest technician did my ultrasound. She really helped to calm my fears. She told me that I would hear from them in the next 24-48 hours if they found an abnormality, and if I didn't hear from them, no news was good news.

Wednesday, November 5: Still a little hungover from my Obama drinking, I thought to myself, no news is good news. It's been almost two days. And around 10AM, I got a phone call from Lisa, a nurse at the breast care center. The radiologist had looked at my ultrasound and wanted me to come in for a vacuum needle biopsy. However, the breast care center only did these procedures on Wednesdays, and it WAS Wednesday, so we scheduled it for Wednesday, November 12. One week. My friends who I shared this news with were all very supportive. E and D volunteered to come along and hold my hand. My mom said that she would drive the five hours to come hold my hand. I appreciated it all, but I was strong.

There were a few things that got me through the week. First, and most important, I was young, and 80% of all lumps are non-cancerous. I had no family history of breast cancer. However, my mom has had fibroadenomas and had one lumpectomy to take one out that looked odd. But no cancer. My mom also told me that she was about my age when she found her first fibroadenoma, but again, no cancer. I held onto those little tidbits as my strength. I kept repeating to myself, I don't have cancer. I don't have cancer.

Wednesday, November 12: I went to the breast care center around 8:15, and again was shown to the cozy waiting room, where I was waiting with my fashionable wraparound teal top. I was ready for this. Finally, Lisa (the nurse) brought me back and reexplained the procedure (not that she hadn't already done it, and that I hadn't done further research on my own). First, they would numb my skin around the lump. Then, they would give me a local anesthetic deeper down into my breast. When it was all numb, they would give me a little nick (less than a 1/4 of an inch) for the hollow needle to be inserted. Then, the radiologist would vacuum 6-8 samples out of the lump itself. After that was done, they would close me up with skin glue (Grey's watchers: I totally freaked at this point-- would I be disfigured for life ala McArmy and Karev?? I need to stop watching TV.) Oh, and I would get to experience my first mammogram after that.

That was the procedure. There were a few surprises. First, the radiologist is a man. A short little man that as soon as he walked into the room, I thought I was being treated by Rocket Romano from ER (you know, surgeon who was a jerk to everyone to make up for his baldness and stature). He was very matter of fact, and told me that he suggested I get the biopsy, even though he didn't think that my lump was cancerous. Better I know now, then postpone possible treatment if it was cancerous. Um, dude? I'm sitting here half naked. I think I'm on board with the biopsy. Second, he asked if he could bring his resident in. Um, sure. Great... here's another man to see my boob. So, in this tiny room, there was Lisa, my ultrasound tech, and two male doctors. They numbed me up (I got to watch the whole thing on the ultrasound machine, since that's what they were using to guide the needle) and of course, I started shaking and getting cold. I get this reaction to topical anesthetics all the time. THE WHOLE THING WAS OVER IN TEN MINUTES and I didn't feel anything. I went for my first mammogram afterwards, and it was nothing. There is nothing to be afraid of there. Then, they sent me home with a cute little ice pack that would fit inside of my bra. I was told that my results would be back within 7-10 days.

I admit that I'm a little sore, and that my skin glue isn't the prettiest thing I've ever seen, but when I got that phone call this morning from Lisa the nurse telling me that my fibroadenoma is BENIGN, I couldn't help but smile from ear to ear. That is the best news ever. I have to go back in six months for an ultrasound, but other than that, I'm in the clear. I'm relieved beyond belief.

So, why I am sharing all this with you? Mainly because I didn't think this could happen to me. No one in my family has ever had breast cancer. I'm still young. I'm getting healthier. I exercise regularly. But when I saw that lump two weeks ago... my world stopped for all of two hours while I allowed myself to freak out. Then I moved on, did what I had to do to make sure it wasn't cancer, and now I can tell you that you need to do the same. I read somewhere that the average woman takes six months to bring herself to the doctor after she has found a lump. WHAT??? Those 48 hours before I was able to see my PCP was hell. I wanted to know. And you should feel the same. So PLEASE do self breast exams monthly. It doesn't matter if you're 20, 30, or over 40. It doesn't matter if you have no family history of breast cancer. I didn't, and I'm glad that statistics were on my side, and that I'm sitting here knowing that I'm healthy. Don't wait to start caring about your boobies. Do it now.

Biggest Loser: Redemption

2008-11-12T10:16:00.002-05:00

First off, I want to say thank you to all of you who responded to yesterday's post regarding Mean People. It's great to know that I have such a support group online (and y'all know that I'm there for you too)!!! That's the main reason I blog. I know there are people going through the same struggles as me, and while we don't really know each other in real life, we can support each other.

BIGGEST LOSER SPOILERS AHEAD. STOP READING NOW!!!!!!

So... I love this week each season when they bring back the old contestants and weigh them in. I was even happier to see Philip and Amy come in first and second place, but then we knew that it didn't really matter, that who ever won the challenge would get to come back. Also, during the weigh in, we saw Vicki's true side revealed. Not that we didn't know there was a b!tch in there, but to openly taunt Philip? What a psycho. I have to say good for Philip for standing up to Vicki and Brady and to tell them that they aren't helping, and to see Stacey say how she wondered how things got so ugly since she left. (I particularly enjoyed Heba trying to tell her that it wasn't that bad... it was all Philip's fault. uh huh)

The challenge was the following: Using a step, be the fastest one to reach 1000 steps. OMG. That sounds like hell. And you could totally see that some people were half-assing it throughout the challenge. But Ed and Philip were neck and neck, until Philip tripped (which seriously, how do you do that?) But what got me was Brady and Vicki's reaction to his spill--- the friggin laughter. Are you kidding me??? That's when I started getting angry. And that's also when Stacey started showing her threat. It made me so sad when she didn't win. She started slowing down towards the end, which is when Ed was speeding up. So, Ed won his chance to return, as well as immunity for the week.

The weigh-in was interesting. They had all the women weigh in first, and Coleen and Purple Amy pulled off some impressive numbers. Unfortunately, Michelle was the first to fall under the yellow line, followed by Brady. However, Ali pulled out a twist: there would be no conferring between the weigh-in... they would go straight to the voting room. I thought this was excellent, mainly because you knew that Purple Amy was considering not voting for Brady. And in the end, she didn't. And because there was a tie, the person with the lowest percentage weight loss was sent home... AND IT WAS BRADY. That was the best part of the whole episode. I'm glad Amy started thinking strategy, and that getting rid of Brady was going to help her. Although, from the previews for next week, it sounds like Vicki goes off the deep end (what's up with her REVENGE note?). I just hope it's her next week, and I'm glad that things have evened off a little bit in the voting scheme of things.

Thank You

2008-11-11T13:51:00.003-05:00

The whole time I've been blogging, I've seen other bloggers go private or restrict their comments. I didn't think it was a big deal until last night. I received a not-so-nice comment from an anonymous poster and it hurt. Well, at first it did. Then I got angry. I never claimed to be perfect, and I struggle with my eating and exercise every day of my life. JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. That's what makes this a challenge. I'm not putting my life out there for you to judge me. You live your life how you want, and I will decide how to lead mine. Personally, to me, a life without chocolate or wine is not a life worth living. We need to realize that this is not beautiful:

I don't ever want to look like that. I don't ever want to feel how I imagine her to feel. No thank you. So, yes, I indulge in food. I don't think one candy bar (or in fact a whole bag of candy bars once in a blue moon) is going to throw my whole weight loss journey off track. I may be stalled, but at the same time, I haven't gained back the 45+ pounds that I've lost to this point. If you think splurging once in a while is unhealthy, well, kudos to you. To me, I call that life.

So... thank you, snarky anonymous commenter. Thank you for making me angry enough to write this post. Thank you for finally making me stand up for myself. Just this morning, this girl who was MEAN to me in high school friended me on Facebook. You've got to be kidding me. Do you not think I remember all the mean things you said about me in high school? Things that you told me to my face? Things that still hurt me 15 years later? Well.... I'm not 13 anymore. So, if you want to tell me I'm fat, that I eat too much, blah blah blah... you can't hide behind the anonymous tag anymore. I feel bad for my friends who don't have a blogger tag (but you can make one!) who used to post through the anonymous tab, but I had to take it down. If you want to try to rip me down, do it to my face. Don't be a coward. Oh, and by the way? This is for you.

Biggest Loser Prevention Magazine!!!!

2008-11-10T19:59:00.002-05:00

I'm going through three days worth of mail, and guess what I found waiting for me? Michelle and Renee on the cover of Prevention!!! They both look great. They are joined inside by Vicki and Brady and Coleen. Michelle and Coleen look fabulous, as does Renee and (as much as I hate do admit this) Vicki. I wonder what this says about the rest of the season... only because I remember last season, Jay was featured in the magazine and he was cut off the show relatively soon after I received that issue. Anyway, just wanted to say how excited I was to find this!

Remember Me?

2008-11-10T09:25:00.003-05:00

Hi guys... yes, I took a blogging break to go visit one of my friends down south. L and I went to college together and haven't seen each other since graduation (gasp! seven and a half years!). Anyway, she invited me down to spend the weekend with her, her husband, and her awesome boxer. I had a great time. L totally whooped my butt when doing her morning walks with her dog. She's a great speed walker, which obviously I am not (E-- I get the feeling that when we go for walks on the railtrail, we're talking more than walking) and we did some great walks with some hills thrown in the mix. The weather was wonderful (sunny, 70s) and it was nice just to catch up. L also introduced me to Stacey's Pita Chips (their simply naked ones are delish!) and I finally was able to experience a SuperTarget AND a Trader Joe's. Which we need desperately in my little town. NOW.

As for me, I'm going to be taking it pretty easy this week. Today's my long day at work, so no exercising for me. Tomorrow, I might go for a quick run in the morning, and then spin class in the evening. Wednesday, I'm having a small procedure done (nothing serious, I'll be at work that same day) but I can't exercise/lift heavy for about two days. Which brings me to Saturday, which I'm hoping will be another running day. So, my focus is really going to be on eating well this week, since I can't do much about the exercise. And I really think that's where my focus should be, and that I'll need this time to regroup and see where I am, eating-wise.

Speaking of my weekend away... time for me to catch up on all that work that is waiting!

The Morning After

2008-11-05T10:55:00.002-05:00

I didn't mention anything about the election on my blog, namely, because who I voted for has nothing to do with my weight loss journey.... however, I do have a big smile on my face today. And I stayed up until 12:30 to listen to Obama's victory speech. And, in between Charlie Gibson calling the election at 11PM and when I went to bed at 12:30, I did have a few celebratory glasses of wine. Which also means I slept in this morning. But... when I awoke, I had this revelation about one of my research projects and what direction I want to take it in for a conference in February. I leapt out of bed and jotted my idea down quickly. Awesome.

You guys crack me up!! I know that I can't use my extended calories to eat pizza, chocolate, or gelato or to drink a half bottle of wine (um... sorry, I did do that last night). But I also made a lovely chicken stirfry with peppers and onions for dinner and so I didn't splurge so much foodwise, just celebratory wine wise. Therefore, your advice (warnings?) are duly noted.

I went to spin again last night. I got there a little later than I wanted to (texting with E about Castro and Black Panthers... and dealing with said chicken), so I had to figure out my bike measurements/adjustments. I looked it up, and then about a minute into our warmup, I had this thought... "WHERE ARE MY KEYS??" I usually leave them up front at the desk (they have a little hook system), but I couldn't remember if I did or not. So, I got off my bike, got a lot of weird looks, ran to the front desk, saw my keys hanging on their hook, and ran back to the gym and got on my bike. I have to say that yesterday's class went a lot better. I didn't get so sore, maybe because I'm getting more used to how the resistance on the bikes work, and also that I realize that I sweat ALOT and this makes my butt slide on the seat, so I need to use my abs and legs to keep me in place. This instructor was a lot less yell-y than the other one, and I really liked the class. So, Tuesday nights are a keeper, and I'll be home in time to watch the Biggest Loser too!

Food worries

2008-11-04T10:35:00.002-05:00

I am a bit concerned that I might not be eating enough since I've increased my activity, hence my somewhat stalled weight loss. Many of you know that I refuse to track calories, points, etc. I find that in doing that, I become obsessed... like I need to enter that tootsie roll into Sparkpeople RIGHTNOW. But, in calculating my basal metabolic rate (which tells me what calories I need to ingest before I can exist), I'm thinking that SP and other calorie counting websites are way off. I used this calculator to figure out my calorie range... and it's telling me that I need to be eating between 1450-1850 calories for weight loss. Wow. I think, just through guesstimation, that's a lot more than what I've been eating. So, I'm going to up my calories for the next two weeks and see what happens. Therefore, I will NOT be weighing in this Friday, in order to give this new approach at least 10 days to see what happens. It's just so frustrating, because it's such a delicate balance between eating too much and not eating enough. I know that once in a while, I do need to go back to tracking in order to get back on track (ugh) with my eating, but still. I hate doing it.

Confessions

2008-11-03T09:30:00.002-05:00

I ate way too much chocolate this weekend. I had a whole bag of Snickers fun size bars, half on Friday and the rest for breakfast on Saturday (ha!). Okay, and E had two of them, I think. But still. Then yesterday, I had a bunch of Dove milk chocolate almond squares. Mmmm... I don't know why, but when I get stressed, I want chocolate. You know how people reach for comfort foods. Chocolate is my comfort food. I could honestly eat chocolate morning noon and night. I can never be sick of it. I think this is my official coming out. Hi, my name is Kiki, and I am a chocoholic. The first step is recognizing that I have a problem. The rest is learning how to deal with my "chocolate dependency."

A Giggle for Your Weekend...Courtesy of Me

2008-11-02T21:02:00.002-05:00

I've never tried spinning. To me, it's intimidating. I keep picturing myself as Bridget Jones, Chaka Khan rightly playing in the background, falling off her exercise bike (don't know what I'm talking about? watch this video... the first 55 seconds will do). But my gym recently changed its policy regarding spinning, in that the classes don't cost any extra. So I thought, why not? I can totally hit this Sunday 12:45 class and it will be no problem. I even showed up five minutes early, introduced myself to the teacher, and had her fit me for the bike.

"Oh my" doesn't begin to cover it. My butt hurts. Literally. I was sitting on my sofa, reading some articles for the grad seminar I teach on Monday nights, and I was thinking, "that's weird, why does my butt hurt." Hmm... isn't that the same place where the bike's seat hit my butt? Ugh. The realization of this connection makes me worry about what's in store for tomorrow, at least, in the soreness department.

But the class itself was good. The instructor was good at explaining the instructions she shouted out (hover, uphill sprint, etc). And yell she did (funny, she warned me about the yelling too). At first I was a little taken back. This chick is psycho! And then I started to think about Jillian (seriously folks, is there a workout when I don't think of Ms. Michaels??) and how she yells at her trainees. It is motivating for someone to be shouting at you, because trust me, about 20 minutes in, I wanted to quit. I actually thought about getting off the bike, picking up my water bottle, and walking out. But I didn't. I stayed. I saw the sweat literally dripping off of me. My legs felt like lead at some points, and yes, I thought I was going to die. But I didn't. I stuck with it. And, while I am sore in places that I'd rather not mention, it was an awesome workout. I think I'm hooked. I think I can handle some Sunday afternoon and occasionally some Tuesday night spinning. Plus, it'll get me off the elliptical more often, which I am getting so bored with.

So... go try something new workout-wise. Hopefully, you won't be as sore as me :)

Keeping Track

2008-11-01T21:28:00.004-04:00

I'm amazed at people who use Excel to keep track of their daily lives. Sure, I use it at work for grades and my data, but I only have one other use for it at home: I use it to track my weight. I have a spreadsheet going back to January with all my info-- weight, lost that week, lost so far, and my BMI. However, when it comes to keeping track of my exercise routine, I use a good old fashioned calendar and a pen. This hangs on my refrigerator:

I started using it as a way to keep track of what I was supposed to be doing on the Biggest Loser video. Then, when I did some of Swizzlepop's ab challenges, I used it to tally my cardio time. Now, I use it as a motivator. Did I already take a day or two off that week? Well, I'd better do something to move my booty! Here's what it looks like up close (this is October):

Today, the first day of November will have a little note that says "C25K: 38 minutes, 2.81 miles". Or maybe I can mark it as my graduation day from C25K and just say "Ran 38 minutes, 2.81 miles." Because, to me, it is UNBELIEVABLE that I actually ran for 38 minutes straight. Part of it is a mind game, and part of it is what I'm feeling in my legs and arms right now (soreness). I just can't believe I did that. I can't believe I *can* do that. I think with a month out from my 5K, training is now into full force, and I'll be aiming for those 3.1 miles every run. Woo!!!

Weekly Weigh In: The Scary Halloween Edition

2008-10-31T09:31:00.003-04:00

I think I might be a Sopranos character for Halloween this year, only because I flipped off my scale this morning and was tempted to threaten it until it showed me the numbers I wanted to see. C'mon!!! I lost 0.8 pounds this week (yay, loss, she says sarcastically) but I'm 0.6 pounds away from my 50 pound mark. That's it. A lousy bit more than a half pound. I worked my butt off this week, and I'm so mad at what happened weight-wise. Grr. (okay, vent over. I am happy that I lost this week, but seriously, I thought I'd be in the 170s this morning, but I'm *STILL* in the 180s. Gimme a break!)

As I mentioned on Miz's blog, I was thoroughly disappointed in the whole BL Oprah edition. Basically, they paraded everyone from the last Ali-won season. It was like a WOW look at their transformation. It was a bit depressing, because everyone said they spend two hours at the gym daily to maintain what they lost on the ranch. Huh? That is not going to work in this little girl's life. One hour a day is what I can give up (okay, that's a lie, I probably could give more, but that would be bordering on exercise obsessiveness!) And it sounds like the guys had the biggest struggles with who they were in this new body.

This is something I've talked with a lot of you about... how you see yourself. I'm getting a lot better with recognizing myself in THIS body, my 180ish pound body vs. my 235ish pound body. One of the things I did this year was go through my closet and get rid of my once too tight size 20pluses. But there are still some things I held onto because they didn't look that bad. Uh, that's a lie. Too big clothes look as ridiculous as too tight clothes. But yet... and many of you know about this... there are days when I lay out my clothes in the morning, and I think, uh, no, I'm so not going to fit in that today. But then I do. Amazing. It's a mind-game, just like running is.

Another thing Jillian and Bob talked about was working out. Bob says you should have one rest day, Jillian says two. Hmm. What do YOU do? I try to exercise at least 5-6 times a week. But let me tell you... if I *only* exercise five times in one week, I do feel guilty. Why couldn't I have gone to the gym for day 6? Or did a video? Or gone for a walk? How many days a week do YOU exercise? Do you try to hit a certain goal? Do you feel guilty if you don't?

Have a good weekend!!

Just. Keep. Going.

2008-10-30T12:35:00.002-04:00

OMG OMG OMG.... Bob and Jillian are going to be on Oprah. TODAY. THURSDAY. I just found out and rearranged my schedule so I can be home to watch (good thing I have no office hours/classes on Thursdays!!) Obviously, more on this tomorrow!!

There is this point on the "30 Day Shred" video that Jillian says "I know you think you're going to DIE... but you're not." That's where I was today. Today was my first 27 minute run, and I really thought about not doing it at all (stupid cold winter-like weather and stupid me for picking a 5K at the beginning of December). On Monday morning, when I did my last 25 minute run, I expanded my running area past the stadium/hospital complex and onto the roads/sidewalks around there. I decided to go in the opposite direction of where I went on Monday, just to challenge myself a bit. This is how the run went:

The first 17 minutes was fine. In fact, easy. (wow... did I just say that?) Nice, flat/downhill area. Then, around 17.5 minutes, I got hot. As in sweaty hot. I was running with a long-sleeved wicking shirt under a sweatshirt plus gloves... it's cold out there!!! So I stopped and took my sweatshirt off and tied it around my waist. Then, I faced the mountain. Ha. Seriously, I knew it was coming at the end of my run. So, I started running up it. I kept thinking as cars drove past me, that their drivers were thinking "OMG... she's going to die." In my head, I started thinking "OMG... I'm going to die." And then Jillian's voice popped in my head: "NO YOU ARE NOT." So, I started thinking more positively. Slow and steady wins the race. You're almost at the top. Just. Keep. Going.

And I did. And after 27 minutes, I saw that I had run 2.14 miles. That's a 12.5 minute mile!!!!!! I seriously was so proud of myself. Heck, I still am!!! I'm feeling a lot more confident about the 5K in 5 weeks. I kept having dreams about finishing the 5K in 45 minutes-- the last person across the finish line-- but if I continue at this pace, I'll be done in about 35 minutes, which is totally acceptable. I think that I can easily start running for 30 minutes at a time (which I'm going to try on Saturday and see how that works out). Trust me, I'm all smiles today :)

BL Recap: All Right Already!!!

2008-10-29T16:44:00.002-04:00

Really really quick before I grade...

I missed the first half hour. I gathered about the Blue Team winning a temptation/challenge (what on earth would you call that?) and adding 40 pounds to the Black Team's weight at the actual hanging on a pulley challenge. (I also missed Bob calling Vicki "Shakespearean"... she's SO Lady MacBeth... damn.) Anyway, I think Phil is a big wimp. Dude, I was waiting for you to tighten your grip on that rope. Geez... to be shown up by Renee???? Should have put her in the middle.

Missed the last chance workout half hour... on the phone with my mom. But the weigh ins??? I hate Brady (but you already know that) AND Vicki AND Heba. I'm glad Phil went home (big wuss, and really? A vote for Michelle??) BUT I can't wait for next week. I love when they let old cast members rejoin (yay!! like Ali last year!!!) and that they're all going individual. Think that Vicki and Brady will end up hurting each other when they turn individual?

That's all for now. Need to grade before I head to the gym. I have another hot date tonight with the elliptical :) Tell me what YOU thought of BL!!